JC
Full Member
Posts: 205
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Post by JC on Apr 7, 2008 15:56:05 GMT -5
didnt read much of the replies, but i have to say crushy, i have sympathized with your situation, in the begining of my seperation with my ex, i let him get away with far too much, for the sake of our son... but RP has a point. do you want your sons to one day treat their wives like this my feeling is you have to show them that this is wrong.
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Post by crushy on Apr 7, 2008 20:46:24 GMT -5
I know in my heart, all of you are right. I know I have to do this, but I can't help but to worry it will hurt my sons. Of course, it's a given they will be hurt if I let them see this is acceptable. He's trying to make me out to look like a paranoid nut, but I officially have proof now. I'd like to disclose more, but I can't since I've made a decision. Who knows if bugs can be turned off so they don't give off whatever waves a sweep would pick up on? He's heard all of my private conversations within my own home and the dumb bastard still has NOTHING on me. You'd think he'd get a clue, huh? I have no interest in what goes on between him and his wife. What he's doing is absolutely no way to live. I guess I kind of feel like what it must be like to be on some reality show where some is just raw emotion and some is masked as I know I am being critiqued. I know nothing he has will hurt me, but can land his butt in jail for some time. How can $550 per month be worth what he's done? The dumba$$ only took one bill ($300 per mo) for the 2nd mortgage, but he chose to pay his attorney $200 per month just to not to have to pay me? What an idiot! His attorney has even placed a lien on his home. Obviously, she doesn't trust him either. Either that or it's because she's so full of sh!t, she knows where to cover herself from experience. I have some hard evidence, but I want more on him. That shouldn't be hard. Sad, huh? Why isn't he spending time with his wife and baby? I hate to admit it, but it's ALL about money for him because I can't get him to take them and when he does, he throws it up into my face. I guess sick people just don't have a clear picture as they live in their own little universe. I thank Heaven I am no longer in that mess. She did me a favor. I actually feel sorry for her now, but in the future, I really feel sorry for her and her children. When all is said and done regarding my situation regarding this stupid stuff, I will still be around, but until then, I've got a lot of work, court stuff, legal documents, back-up and evidence, etc to keep me very busy. I am more than confident I will once again have a victory in court...hopefully this is the last time before all is ruled on by the judge. My posts are about the same crap and I've gotten incredible advice I am going to take to heart and apply to my situation. You guys are great. I appreciate all of you and know all of us have different points of view because so many of us are diverse and have different experiences under our belts. Thanks for letting me vent. Crushy
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Post by kittenhart on Apr 8, 2008 0:11:43 GMT -5
I am more than confident I will once again have a victory in court...hopefully this is the last time before all is ruled on by the judge. Hell, I'm stupid enough to actually want to offer to work with them on the sentence, etc. You're not stupid, Crushy, you're caring and he has taken advantage of that for far too long. So back to court again! But we're in your corner, girl.
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Post by ionysis on Apr 8, 2008 0:44:44 GMT -5
I really hope this gets sorted out for you soon Crushy. Imagine the amzing lightness you'll feel when finally, once and for all, the court proceedings and legal affairs and custody hearings are over and done with. We will have to throw you the biggest cyber-party in the world. I know that this seems like it's been going on forever but there is light at the end of the tunnel, at some point you'll be free of this. ((((HUGS))))
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Post by gdgross on Apr 10, 2008 10:08:06 GMT -5
Even better - give him something to listen to. Stage a shouting/ simulated domestic violence argument near one of the bugs, but videotape it. When he tries to use it, GOTCHA... Or maybe I'm just in an evil mood tonight...Oooooh. I like the way you think.... where's the evil grin smiley???
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Post by freckles on Apr 10, 2008 17:04:12 GMT -5
Or say you have a Million Dollars in a Metal Brief case
Then he steals it and its play money
hee hee
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Post by Phyxius on Apr 10, 2008 17:31:39 GMT -5
Even better - give him something to listen to. Stage a shouting/ simulated domestic violence argument near one of the bugs, but videotape it. When he tries to use it, GOTCHA... Or maybe I'm just in an evil mood tonight...Oooooh. I like the way you think.... where's the evil grin smiley??? Try this one...
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Post by bobfromacctg on Apr 11, 2008 10:01:23 GMT -5
As I have told you on the phone, its not your problem - its his. He broke the laws and that is a lesson you have to instill in your boys. Don't teach them that mom will protect them when the break the rules.
My son KNEW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if we got him driving the car before he had his license, WE would call the police. He knew we were serious and its just about the only thing he never tested us on.
Don't give your X a pass on this - show the boys by your actions that if you break the law, there are consequences for your behaviour.
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Post by crushy on Apr 26, 2008 22:48:13 GMT -5
My buddy sent this article link to me and I have to say...I'm sooooooooo tempted to forward it to my lame Guardian ad Lit em. He has this disclosure at the bottom of his e-mails and I want to ask him if he's paranoid. www.newson6.com/global/story.asp?s=8210979He sent a letter to each counsel and cc'd to each of us and it says that if I suspect bugging, to address it. Okay, Columbo, let's give everyone a heads up??? I'm almost to the point of not caring. It's all about $ for him and $ is the last of my concerns at this point. I encourage ALL of you to read this because it's quite scary. I have no doubt the Guardian will encounter such invasion later, but at this point, we are his first experience. Although I know my ex has the upper-hand with his invasion, I wouldn't trade it for the peace of mind I have compared to what he must be living right now. I remember checking up on him, looking through his things, etc while we were married and that is NO way to live. I am happy with the man I love and my sons are better off with us apart. I feel he should be more concerned about how our sons are reacting to his newborn son than to what paper they turned in when. He can nit-pick all he wants, but that's all it is. We've been divorced nearly 5 yrs and if the courts saw any concern at all, they'd intervene. It's just a money machine for everyone but us. My sons are smart and talented and in their teens. He's already lost the most precious years and continues to push them away now.
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Post by Mel (cherry) on May 8, 2008 11:16:10 GMT -5
I am so sorry you are struggling with this especially with all you already have on your plate. Hang in there, we are all pulling for you. And if you need to talk, you know where to find me.
((HUG))
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blu
Full Member
Posts: 145
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Post by blu on Jun 28, 2008 13:36:06 GMT -5
So what did you do? Did he stop?
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flyaway
New Member
*thumb on nose....fingers waving.....tongue sticking out"
Posts: 30
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Post by flyaway on Jun 29, 2008 5:46:06 GMT -5
blu, just exactly what I want to know. I know this is an old thread, but did you get the sweep done, Crushy? (hi! BTW)
fly
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Post by crushy on Jun 30, 2008 9:03:27 GMT -5
Well, we went to Mediation again and he proposed an offer that my attorney and I laughed at. He definitely has this false sense of entitlement. I know you are old-timers and so I will PM you, but since we are still in the legal arena, I have to be careful what I disclose publicly...The bottom line is he's an a$$, he will do anything to get out of his responsiblities, his wife (OW) supports him even though he will more than likely do this to her (them) the same way. The good part is I am happier than I've ever been in my life. My sons are awesome and I have sole custody, I have a great job, I've survived incredible accidents, I am engaged to a wonderful man that is HONEST and makes me happy, I have a good pension in a few years, I have equity in my home, the settlement of my accident a year ago is finally under way. I could go on and on. I find myself annoyed when I see I have an e-mail from him. Thankfully, he was stupid last night and blocked me so I'm not bound to disclose any information regarding our sons and I have the relief of no contact with the wuss.
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Jun 30, 2008 11:14:41 GMT -5
Hey, how are things?
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Post by crushy on Jul 2, 2008 14:09:22 GMT -5
Oh, things are great! Thanks for asking, everyone! I wish I could say more, but I've got a lot to be happy about... To think of how easily this could have been if they'd just done what they promised in the decree and not used my flexibility regarding time with the boys against me. He had them whenever he wanted, but got greedy. He can still have them anytime he wants them as long as he sends me an e-mail for documentation to put a stop to 'he said, she said'. He's so contradictory in his claims, it's comical. I didn't realize quite how stupid he is, but did realize how sneaky and dishonest he was. If he's not lying to her yet (which I know for a FACT he's hidden things already), his lies will begin to show soon. It's amazing how someone like that can rationalize. Heck, if I didn't know me, I'd probably believe a lot of it at first too. He came unglued when I told him to 'move on' and suggested W and I have a baby? He!! no!! We have a 16, 15 and 12 yr old son between us. We're both going on 40 and there is NO way we would consider it. It's fine if it's the right thing for them, but it's not for us. Sadly, they are out of their house very soon as per my sons. Ironic, since I nearly lost mine thanks to them not paying the only bill he took in the divorce, until I was able to refinance. (I guess what goes around, comes around .) The jerk doesn't think he has to tell me where. I've got some concerns about how this will impact my sons, but my sons don't seem to care since they are w/ me most of the time. My oldest will be driving soon, so that will help some if they move farther away. My sons are both doing much better. I talked to their counselor a few days ago and he was rather optimistic things were settling down.
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