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Post by freckles on Jan 28, 2009 14:23:58 GMT -5
1 of them a Young Lady had Collage all set up
She droped out at the last minute because she did not want to be that far away from her boyfriend
My Mom had gave her $1,500.00 for Collage, She will have loans to pay back, without even going to Collage
The other one, this is worse
Started going
my Mom gave him the same $1,500.00 Plus he had Grants and loans etc etc
He was in the Dorm
he had been going about 6 months
The School called one of my Sisters (Not his mom)
And said he needs to get his stuff out of the Dorm and Leave by Tommarow or he will owe a extra $10,000
because he is not even going to class
he takes the one easy Bible class in the afternoon
Because he stays up all night EVERY night playing Video Games
The other classes , he does not even show up to.
So my Mom told me, I am not suppost to know
He was Crying Yesterday( Crockadile Tears) His Mom was crying
The Head of the School said He has a choice get His Stuff and Leave by Tommarow and it will be $10,000 less than all the other you owe (Who knows how much)
Or try to make up a Whole Month of not going (Wich cant be done)
He stays up all night every night, goes to bed at 8:00 am then Sleeps until 3 or 4 pm 7 days a week
I mean its bad enough to get a chance at Collage and make a F and you tried your best
Not even showing up for classes
Shows a great lack of Character
As I am not suppost to know, I will not say anything
But, THAT is what my plan is to tell him, after it comes out about it
Is that a good idea
Or just dont say anything ?
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Post by redskyatnight on Jan 29, 2009 12:00:06 GMT -5
Lessons learned in youth are hard. Maybe once they see how much fun it is to work at low paying jobs, they will mature enough to handle college.
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Post by freckles on Jan 29, 2009 16:31:33 GMT -5
I drove by my Sisters
His Picup is there
So I guess he will be Sleeping until about 4:00 pm to 4:30 pm
when my Sister(His mom gets off work)
I think Single Moms tend to Carry thier Kids on a Pillow
Which is the way God made them
If She had Her First Husband - it is the ExHusbands fault the marrage failed
He would have * Used His Belt - So to Speak - On his Backside
If he would have pulled that
But since my Sister is the only Parent
This is the result
A Lazy Good for nothing Teen that destroyed thier Collage Chance
He will Owe about $50,000 (At a Guess)
Plus since He does not have a Job and Will not Work
I am Praying that Non of my Sisters or my Mom or anyone Co-Signed on His Collage Loan
or they will Lose thier Home/s because of his Lazy Falure
So it could keep getting much much worse
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Post by rocko on Feb 3, 2009 8:46:02 GMT -5
It is disappointing that he threw away this opportunity. Hopefully he will eventually go back and get his degree.
Freck, it is College. Collage is a piece of art.
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Post by finding on Feb 3, 2009 18:06:00 GMT -5
You arrogant jerk. You are way off base when it comes to single moms. It is the hardest job any woman will ever do, there is nothing lazy about a single mother, or a single father.
I am so angry by your ignorant response that I can't even see straight. Funny how the people with the biggest opinions about parenting and kids don't even have any of their own.
Stay away from a topic and developing opinions on things you don't have any knowledge or experience with.
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Post by soupnazi on Feb 3, 2009 21:37:44 GMT -5
You arrogant jerk. You are way off base when it comes to single moms. It is the hardest job any woman will ever do, there is nothing lazy about a single mother, or a single father. I am so angry by your ignorant response that I can't even see straight. Funny how the people with the biggest opinions about parenting and kids don't even have any of their own. Stay away from a topic and developing opinions on things you don't have any knowledge or experience with. Finding, it didn't seem to me that Freckles said anything about single moms or dads being lazy. He did say that single moms "tend to carry their kids on a pillow", which to me translates to spoiling them (for lack of a better word). In his experience, maybe that is what he has seen. He did say "lazy, good for nothing teen", and you know, if the kid is going to sit on his ass and let his mom take care of him, well then, seems to sound as if the shoe fits. And by the way, Freckles had a stepson when he was married, and he had a lot of problems with him. He may not have been Freckles son, but he had the responsibility of acting in a parental role. And therefore, he has experience raising kids. In my opinion, its way off base to say that a person that doesn't have any kids "of their own" doesn't know anything about parenting. I have three kids that are "not my own", but I will take the first MF'r to the mat that tells me that my opinion as a parent doesn't count because it wasn't my part in the conception that brought them into this world, or that I don't know anything about being a parent just because of that. I don't mean anything confrontational by that, but I think your comments to freckles are not merited.
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Post by freckles on Feb 3, 2009 23:58:10 GMT -5
You arrogant jerk. You are way off base when it comes to single moms. It is the hardest job any woman will ever do, there is nothing lazy about a single mother, or a single father. I am so angry by your ignorant response that I can't even see straight. Funny how the people with the biggest opinions about parenting and kids don't even have any of their own. Stay away from a topic and developing opinions on things you don't have any knowledge or experience with. My Sister is not Lazy She is in Management a Boss over a LOT of People At Lest several Hundred. I think almost 1000 maybe ? She got there by Hard Work Where did I say she was lazy ? She is not a Man So she cant be a Male Role model to her Son Her Son needs his butt kicked She acts like what God made her to be A Woman Which is Great and Wonderful Because Women are Gifts from God BUT, She cant do the Male Role To Make Her Son get off his butt and actually Go to Class at Collage while He was LIVING at the Dorm. Maybe YOU can Get Her Son to get off his butt By the way He is 19 and has NEVER had a Job Nothing , Zip, Zero He Plays Video Games all night and goes to sleep at 8:00 am unti 4 or 5 pm So Her Son now Owes about $50,000.00 And has NOTHING whatsoever to show for it I pray non of my Family Co-Signed his Loans Where am I the arrogant Jerk ? I don't see it
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Post by finding on Feb 3, 2009 23:58:39 GMT -5
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. A couple of years with a teenager who had issues already does not make one an expert on parenting, and therefore one should not make assumptions regarding what it takes to raise kids.
His blanket statement towards single parents is wrong at best, very derrogatory, judgemental, and discriminatory. Blaming the kid's mother because of his choices is not ok. At college age a person is old enough to make their own choices and know better, and old enough to face the consequences of such choices.
I am sick and tired of single parents, not just single mothers getting a bad rap. Some of the worst behaved children, and those who make the worst choices as adults came from two parent households.
Stepping into a step parent role to kids who are a bit older, and when one has never been in a parenting role before does not give a person any ground to give parenting advice, as actually conceiving a child does not make someone a good parent.
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Post by freckles on Feb 4, 2009 0:03:40 GMT -5
So what is your Advice to get him to go to Class?
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Post by freckles on Feb 4, 2009 0:09:34 GMT -5
I would destroy all the Video games
As number 1 thing to do
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Post by soupnazi on Feb 4, 2009 0:21:50 GMT -5
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. A couple of years with a teenager who had issues already does not make one an expert on parenting, and therefore one should not make assumptions regarding what it takes to raise kids. His blanket statement towards single parents is wrong at best, very derrogatory, judgemental, and discriminatory. Blaming the kid's mother because of his choices is not ok. At college age a person is old enough to make their own choices and know better, and old enough to face the consequences of such choices. I am sick and tired of single parents, not just single mothers getting a bad rap. Some of the worst behaved children, and those who make the worst choices as adults came from two parent households. Stepping into a step parent role to kids who are a bit older, and when one has never been in a parenting role before does not give a person any ground to give parenting advice, as actually conceiving a child does not make someone a good parent. Again, finding, I don't see where Freckles made a "blanket statement" toward single parents. In any kind of manner, other than expressing his thought that single moms tend to put their kid "on a pillow". He didn't blame the kid's mom, in fact I think he started this thread by saying what a rockhead the kid is! For as much as you discount freckles' couple of years with a "teenager who had issues already", what gives you the right to say that he has no opinion??? I feel like I am being an ass here, but who are you to decide when someone can step into a step-parenting role, or have a ground to have parental advice? does it have to be from birth, or 5 years old, or 12, 15, 20?? Being a "parent" and helping a young person to find a good moral, stable, direction in their life can be at any age.
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Post by finding on Feb 4, 2009 0:30:49 GMT -5
I would destroy all the Video games As number 1 thing to do I don't allow video games at my house. I do agree with you there. The ex bought one for my daughter a few years ago, and was very happy when it got broken. There are much better things a kid can do with their time. My teenage daughter doesn't exactly always like it, but we do a game night at least once a week and we all take turns picking which game we will play. As for getting him to go to class, there is no easy answer. He's really old enough now to make that choice, unless she wants to literally drag him there and sit next to him while he takes notes. He obviously isn't ready for college, you can't force someone, and he won't get what he needs out of it. At that age they don't realize how good they have it and think they know everything. I am probably tougher than most people are. I saw my parents hand my brother everything and he wasted it all while they kept giving and giving. Now he's 40, doesn't have a dime to his name, and expects everyone to give him whatever he needs while I have worked my ass off getting to where I am now with no help from anyone. I appreciate it all so much more because I know how much work has gone into it all. It sounds like he needs a wake up call to see what the real world is really like. Perhaps if he has to spend a few months working and paying his own way his tune will change. I'm an outsider and don't know him, his mother, or the whole situation, I can't say what is the best solution for him or the situation Freckles. What I have a problem with Freckles is how you portray single parents as bad and illequipped. She could have done everything right, and this or an even worse situation still could have happened. Being a good parent doesn't always mean a child will turn out right, kids are people too and they do make their own choices. There is only so much a person can do as a parent, even in a two parent household. On the flip side, some of the best people I have come across have come from terrible backgrounds. I guess what I am saying in a round about way is that nature plays just an important role in how a person turns out as nurture does.
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Post by finding on Feb 4, 2009 0:48:21 GMT -5
Being a "parent" and helping a young person to find a good moral, stable, direction in their life can be at any age. Being a moral or stable person in a kid's life is completely different than being a parent. Yes, a parent should be those things for a child, but a person stepping into a role in a child's life does not have the same rights and responsiblities as the parent does. I'm tired, and may come back to this tomorrow, but most likely not. I've had a busy day with my kids and supplying for their needs above and beyond cooking their dinner, baths, and what not while recovering from surgery. I hurt like hell, but stopped taking my pain pills because I need a clear head to provide what my kids need, work on my homework, get ready to go back to work a week too early, juggle appointments for my kids, and get my car fixed. My youngest has an appointment with a new allergist tomorrow. When I get back home my focus will be on him, not you.
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Post by soupnazi on Feb 4, 2009 1:05:10 GMT -5
Being a "parent" and helping a young person to find a good moral, stable, direction in their life can be at any age. Being a moral or stable person in a kid's life is completely different than being a parent. Yes, a parent should be those things for a child, but a person stepping into a role in a child's life does not have the same rights and responsiblities as the parent does. I'm tired, and may come back to this tomorrow, but most likely not. I've had a busy day with my kids and supplying for their needs above and beyond cooking their dinner, baths, and what not while recovering from surgery. I hurt like hell, but stopped taking my pain pills because I need a clear head to provide what my kids need, work on my homework, get ready to go back to work a week too early, juggle appointments for my kids, and get my car fixed. My youngest has an appointment with a new allergist tomorrow. When I get back home my focus will be on him, not you. Yeah, I think we should revisit this tomorrow (sorry to hijack your thread, Freckles). Why do you think a stepparent doesnt have to help with homework, deal with surgeries, stopping pain pills, help with homework, juggle appointments, and get cars fixed??? I KNOW exactly what you have you are going through, because I have been there myself. And you know what, I didn't put any of those responsibilities or tasks on someone else because I wasn't the parent. I am not arguing with you, I really do think this is a good topic to discuss tomorrow. As a committed step-parent that loves my kids like they are my own, I really do want to explore this topic.
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Post by jules on Feb 4, 2009 12:24:08 GMT -5
Regarding the original situation, I believe in allowing organic consequences to occur as the result of choices made. No college? Fine. Give a deadline for the child to move out and have to support him or herself.
Regarding the parenting debate, I see both sides. I can't claim to know what it's like to experience being a parent first hand. But I can still express my opinions regarding child raising, as an intelligent, mature adult. There are loads of people out there who birth babies who are a lot less qualified than I am to have opinions on the proper raising of children.
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