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Post by redskyatnight on Mar 23, 2008 19:22:58 GMT -5
Wow. That letter is full of so many emotions. You must be on a rollar coaster right now. I'm sorry today has been so frustrating for you. All you can do is the best you are capable of.
I know its hard, but try not to let your ex's personal opinions about you or how you raise your son get under your skin. If he is like my ex, that is exactly what he wants to do. Try to keep your focus on the boys. They are what is most important.
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Post by crushy on Mar 23, 2008 19:41:43 GMT -5
Wow. That letter is full of so many emotions. You must be on a rollar coaster right now. I'm sorry today has been so frustrating for you. All you can do is the best you are capable of. I know its hard, but try not to let your ex's personal opinions about you or how you raise your son get under your skin. If he is like my ex, that is exactly what he wants to do. Try to keep your focus on the boys. They are what is most important. I wouldn't care about my ex's feelings about me, but considering we are in the middle of a very heated custody battle makes it so much more emotional. He left 4 1/2 yrs ago, but only decided he wanted joint custody 2 yrs ago since I make more than him and he's screwed financially, his bankruptcy is being dismissed, he's in foreclosure and they just had a new baby. You're right, my e-mail back was full of raw emotion, but because he'd rather see my 16 yr old fail a class than help him just to try to make me look bad to the court as he's trying for joint custody so I have to pay him child support. What kind of parent is that? He can do and say anything to me, but mess with my boys and mama bear comes out....
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Post by redskyatnight on Mar 23, 2008 19:47:34 GMT -5
I understand and he is an Awhole for using your son like that. It seems he cares more about hurting you than helping your son.
And yes, I completely understand that emotions come to the surface when a court date is approaching. I've done 4 of them. It will get better. Don't forget to take deep breaths. When we are stressed, we take more shallow breaths.
Hang in there.
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Post by crushy on Mar 23, 2008 19:51:01 GMT -5
Thanks, girl. Your support means more than you can know. Sorry to hear you've been through it too. Crushy
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Post by RO on Mar 23, 2008 20:42:24 GMT -5
The whole ordeal that you continue to go through just shocks and amazes me. You have so much determination and strength...don't let it deter you.
Your boys are so lucky to have you, Tami.
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Post by crushy on Mar 23, 2008 20:49:29 GMT -5
The whole ordeal that you continue to go through just shocks and amazes me. You have so much determination and strength...don't let it deter you. Your boys are so lucky to have you, Tami. Thanks, girl. Your words literally brought me to tears.
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scoobysnax
New Member
Enough about you...back to me.
Posts: 4
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Post by scoobysnax on Mar 23, 2008 21:28:45 GMT -5
I haven't been here long, and was reading around tonight and stumbled upon your post. I don't know you, but it sounds like your doing the best you can for your kids, and if the ex wants to act like an ass, just make sure you document everything for court, if you don't already. Dates, times when he couldn't take them or abide by the court ordered terms, phone calls, etc.
I'm sorry your going through this. Just stay strong and realize that it will all be over someday.
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Post by crushy on Mar 23, 2008 21:56:00 GMT -5
Thanks, Scoob. He's been the ex from hell. He's a forensics investigator and sees and hears everything I do. I pay my bills at work even though I have a shredder because he goes through my garbage. That's when I'm glad I have a cat. Instead of tying the liner together, I scatter it all over the top the day before garbage day because if it's worth it to him, he can work for it. I love my kittty. ;D
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Post by kittenhart on Mar 24, 2008 0:49:03 GMT -5
That's when I'm glad I have a cat. Instead of tying the liner together, I scatter it all over the top the day before garbage day because if it's worth it to him, he can work for it. I love my kittty. ;D That is a farking great idea! Ha Ha. You are hilarious, Crushy! You just keepon keeping it together for your boys....the judge will see through him.
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Post by redskyatnight on Mar 24, 2008 6:47:10 GMT -5
That's when I'm glad I have a cat. Instead of tying the liner together, I scatter it all over the top the day before garbage day because if it's worth it to him, he can work for it. I love my kittty. ;D That funny, but totally insane that you even came up with that idea. Good for you! Hey- maybe you could collect some other yucky stuff to mix in there.
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Post by crushy on Mar 24, 2008 21:36:11 GMT -5
That's when I'm glad I have a cat. Instead of tying the liner together, I scatter it all over the top the day before garbage day because if it's worth it to him, he can work for it. I love my kittty. ;D That funny, but totally insane that you even came up with that idea. Good for you! Hey- maybe you could collect some other yucky stuff to mix in there. I'm certainly open to ideas...keep 'em comin'.
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Post by crushy on Mar 25, 2008 14:57:36 GMT -5
I'm freaking DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's NOT my fault if he serves time for what he's doing. He should be thinking of his kids and his newborn, but noooooo, the control freak is only thinking of himself.....My last e-mail to him...
Since you are so diligent about recording everything, please produce the calls that transpired between us today. You KNOW I will not converse with you outside of e-mail since you use my head injury against me.
I have also called Cam and got no answer, but I'm sure you have access to the voice mail message I left him.
Like you, I am concerned too. Tell me Troy, why is it it's always MY fault (even given the HUGE sacrifice you made to have them for the past couple of days when I am so determined to keep them from you) that he's missed a class. If I thought like you, I'd blame you since he's spent the past few days with you.
I am growing very sick and tired of the strain this is causing the boys and I am determined to find a way to resolve it. I've tried not to put you at risk in the mean time, but it's obviously not working.
Again, make sure you save those phone calls today because I have NOTHING to hide. You are pushing Cam away and can't even see it. He's confided so much in me and you are totally clueless. I literally begged you to take the gloves off and put our sons first weeks ago. For heaven's sake....you can't even give the kid credit for only 1 'F' vs the 5 he was looking at?! NO THANKS TO YOU.
Keep digging that hole, Troy. Just keep diggin'. You are so desperate, you can't even see your false sense of entitlement is clouding your judgement and making your manipulation just as plain as day.
I am so concerned about our sons right now and all you can do is think about YOU and your financial situation. For heaven's sake, put them first for once. If not for them, at least do it to look good to the court. I don't care what your motivation is as long as you put them first for a freaking change!!!!!!!
I have a paper trail of my suspicions of your activity regarding our home. I have put it off because the thoughts of having you hauled off just breaks my heart for the boys' sake...even Carly, Nancy and Vash's. You have backed me into a corner long enough and it's coming to a head. I can look at my sons and know I tried everything first before doing what needs to be done.
It won't even take the Feds, but even if I hire someone private to sweep my home, they are legally required to report it. You have given me no choice here. Now, talk tough and pretend you're in control. I don't really care any more. It sickens me that you are their role model.
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Post by sheyd on Mar 25, 2008 15:04:05 GMT -5
I am glad you are going to do the sweep! It is sad, but you need to feel safe in your own home. He did this himself, you didn't. Let the kids know they don't have to just let someone walk all over them, by being that example he can't be right now.
Shey
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Post by crushy on Mar 25, 2008 15:37:02 GMT -5
I am glad you are going to do the sweep! It is sad, but you need to feel safe in your own home. He did this himself, you didn't. Let the kids know they don't have to just let someone walk all over them, by being that example he can't be right now. Shey Thanks, girl....It's one thing to have a local cop come and talk to you about it and another thing to picture your sons' dad being hauled off in cuffs. They just had a baby a week ago. He's sick and controlling and I was so young, I misunderstood control and jealousy for love and realizing value in me to someone else. I'm tired of turning the TV up and whispering to my sons because I know the walls have ears. He's sick and twisted. I love my sons more than anything, but having them put their backpacks in the trunk during the ride to school is just freaky. I know to some, I must sound paranoid, but I'm NOT!!!!! His own mother knows what he's capable of. He even told my youngest (then, 11) that he had to bug their cell phones for 'his protection'. Okay, whatever asshole!! Just before I hung up on him today, his last words to me were, 'I know EVERYTHING that goes on in that house.' Okay, well you're telling me you've never moved on, you are obsessed with the life you left, you don't respect your current wife (even though she's been the OW several times). If being in 'control' is worth a 3rd degree felony for you, then so be it. I've put up with this for almost 5 freaking years!!!!!!!
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