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Post by blazinheart on Jan 3, 2008 18:07:33 GMT -5
Well fuck! I just called her and got her voicemail. Isn't there a damn handbook on how to read women?! Um, not needed. It's called common sense. I've travelled all over the world, in some pretty dangerous places and made it through ok. So i'm pretty sure i'm not lacking in common sense. How was I supposed to know that calling her was a bad move? I thought she would want to take to me.
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Post by wizer on Jan 3, 2008 18:10:42 GMT -5
You are really being wishy washy with this woman.
She IS the one for you....
She ISNT the one for you...
Then you call her and tell her that, now you are going to call her and tell her something else.
Just leave her alone already
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Post by jules on Jan 3, 2008 18:17:00 GMT -5
idocsteve kind of has a point. Calling immediately is a potential boyfriend sort of thing to do. If you emailed one of your buddies and get a response, would you then call him immediately to make sure he really, really understood and that his feelings weren't hurt? And frequent flyer points have nothing to do with relationship knowledge. Trust me. Otherwise I wouldn't have found my way to this forum in the first place. It's all about reading between the lines. Which, admittedly, is quite difficult since apparently men and women speak different languages. As for now... you made your point. Let it go. Continue on as you guys have been. But don't be surprised if she pulls back a little. If she does it's just her protecting herself a little.
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Post by wizer on Jan 3, 2008 18:19:11 GMT -5
I also think its rather hilarious that you two are going "to be friends" for now and see what happens.
You never even met the woman! If you hadn't decided to "just be friends" then what? You would have been BF/GF still without ever meeting? Cybering can only get you so far, it's still your own hand on your dick when the night is through...
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 3, 2008 18:19:34 GMT -5
I called her because I want her to realize that I'm still her friend and she can call me anytime. I don't want her to feel as though there is some boundary that she can't cross with me, as far as our friendship goes.
Are you guys purposefully trying to make me feel bad?
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Post by wizer on Jan 3, 2008 18:20:09 GMT -5
Are you guys purposefully trying to make me feel bad? No.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 3, 2008 18:22:27 GMT -5
Are you guys purposefully trying to make me feel bad? No. Well what the fuck dude? I take the time to explain myself to her and be completely honest with her and all of the sudden I'm an asshole that just needs to leave her alone?
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Sass
Full Member
Posts: 207
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Post by Sass on Jan 3, 2008 18:23:59 GMT -5
In short, Blazin, She may have been doing something and just not heard the phone. Maybe you are jumping to conclusions. How long has it been since you called her? If it has been a while and she still hasn't called you back, then it's probably because she doesn't know how to react and she's scared. OK. Maybe not so short. Going forward, I will tell you this. It is very easy to tell someone something on paper because the other person can not hear or sense another emotion from a voice or by facial expressions. She may be afraid that she sounded very strong and convincing in the email, but if you heard her voice, you would know otherwise. In any event, you told her how you felt. Stand by it. If anything comes of it that is great. If it's only friends then that is the way it is supposed to be. Does this make sense?
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Post by wizer on Jan 3, 2008 18:24:06 GMT -5
You're not an asshole, blazin. Well, at least not in regard to her...
You need someone closer to home, you told her that, she was ok with it. Time to move on.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 3, 2008 18:30:40 GMT -5
In short, Blazin, She may have been doing something and just not heard the phone. Maybe you are jumping to conclusions. How long has it been since you called her? If it has been a while and she still hasn't called you back, then it's probably because she doesn't know how to react and she's scared. OK. Maybe not so short. Going forward, I will tell you this. It is very easy to tell someone something on paper because the other person can not hear or sense another emotion from a voice or by facial expressions. She may be afraid that she sounded very strong and convincing in the email, but if you heard her voice, you would know otherwise. In any event, you told her how you felt. Stand by it. If anything comes of it that is great. If it's only friends then that is the way it is supposed to be. Does this make sense? Yes. Makes perfect sense. And it's not like I have anyone to move on to. There's no other woman in my life right now. So just the fact that I've found a woman that I'm truly interested in being friends with, is a huge milestone for me. I don't have women problems in the sense that there aren't available women right here where I am. My women "problems" if they should be called that, are in the fact that none of the women here, where I am, are compatible with me. As some people may know, i'm a pretty...uh, unique person, I have a lot of little quirks and eccentricities. So it takes a very unique woman to fit me.
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Post by goods on Jan 3, 2008 18:49:39 GMT -5
If you call her to discuss it further after she's already indicated "message received and understood" it could embarass her. Though a general phone call couldn't hurt, and if the topic happens to come up, so be it. She could sound a bit "scattered" because she wasn't quite sure how exactly to respond. Point is, she got it, she wants to be friends, you two are both on the same page. Hammering the point home isn't really necessary. Well fuck! I just called her and got her voicemail. Isn't there a damn handbook on how to read women?! There is, it's called the Bible.
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Post by JimB on Jan 3, 2008 18:55:29 GMT -5
Dude, the instinct to call her comes from the male desire to "fix" things. There's nothing a phone call can accomplish at this moment. If she seems a little scattered, give her a day or two to gather herself.
BTW, it does sound like she gets you. That's good.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 3, 2008 19:58:35 GMT -5
She called me. Things are good. Very casual, very at ease. We like each other, there's simply no way to pretend like we don't get along famously, albiet from a distance. We definitely have a future, whether it's just as friends or whether it developes into more than friends.
I spend a good deal of my summer in Africa, and she lives in Northern Africa. So i'm sure, if things progress, I'll visit her.
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Post by lumpy on Jan 3, 2008 20:15:55 GMT -5
What's her enotalone name? Just curious.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 3, 2008 20:16:47 GMT -5
What's her enotalone name? Just curious. Who? This girl is not on eatalone.com.
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