Post by finding on Dec 28, 2007 15:49:46 GMT -5
I look back at this year, a year full of pain and I realize that no matter what I was always stronger than you. Yes, you had a hard life, but you chose to let it consume you and never forgave those that hurt you. That was such a total waste of time, and you never saw the good things you had.
I managed to fight when there seemed no hope. I remember loosing Faith, our son being still born, B being diagnosed with autism, and then 3 years later J receiving the same diagnosis. I held us together through it all though I was hurting.
You lost your marraige by your own actions, and then lost your girlfriend whom you cheated on me with. I didn't do that, you did. Yet let your anger and bitterness consume you and tried to make me pay. You accused me of so many ugly and nasty things, things you were doing.
I am done being your patsy. I won't feel guilty for your actions and second guess my decisions any more. 2007 was horrible because of your actions, I won't let 2008 be tainted by your hatred and then weakness.
I will always live with the memory of police officers showing up at my door early in the morning and seeing the ambulance and commotion at the end of the block. Our children asleep on the hide a bed in the living room while I am standing on the front steps seeing what I saw and the officers telling me what you had done. My mother's scream, and telling our daughter you were dead.
I have held my own through it all. You didn't and can't destroy me. You no longer hold any power.
I managed to fight when there seemed no hope. I remember loosing Faith, our son being still born, B being diagnosed with autism, and then 3 years later J receiving the same diagnosis. I held us together through it all though I was hurting.
You lost your marraige by your own actions, and then lost your girlfriend whom you cheated on me with. I didn't do that, you did. Yet let your anger and bitterness consume you and tried to make me pay. You accused me of so many ugly and nasty things, things you were doing.
I am done being your patsy. I won't feel guilty for your actions and second guess my decisions any more. 2007 was horrible because of your actions, I won't let 2008 be tainted by your hatred and then weakness.
I will always live with the memory of police officers showing up at my door early in the morning and seeing the ambulance and commotion at the end of the block. Our children asleep on the hide a bed in the living room while I am standing on the front steps seeing what I saw and the officers telling me what you had done. My mother's scream, and telling our daughter you were dead.
I have held my own through it all. You didn't and can't destroy me. You no longer hold any power.