Post by crushy on Apr 5, 2008 11:27:44 GMT -5
As most of you know, I'm torn. My ex is a Forensics Investigator, left me for OW 4 yrs ago, filed custody suit for joint custody 2 yrs ago so I would have to pay him child support since I make more. He was full of allegations I've been able to prove wrong on paper. We've been to court 3 times and each and every time, he's been denied temporary joint custody since the Judge can see he's blowing smoke and the boys are fine w/ me (just as he left them for OW...duh!!).
I now have proof he has bugged my house / boys' stuff. My attorney has told me I have to make a decision because even if I have a private sweep done, they are legally required to report it since it is a 3rd degree felony w/ some 2nd degree felonies in there. He told me he would do at least 6 mos physically in jail as well as lose his job.
Of course this would mean (only) $550 per mo in child support as well as double coverage for our sons. It would be difficult to get by on my own financially without this $, but my fiance insists on accepting that he pay for it and help make my mortgage pmt until I can sell my home. I have quite a bit of equity in my home as well as a pending settlement for the head on collision I was in last year. So, $ is not the problem, the problem is my sons seeing their dad being hauled off to jail.
My ex-MIL and ex-SIL are still close to me and have stood by me. They came to visit me last week and they even told me I need to do a sweep because if I don't, that sends the message to my boys that law enforcement is above the law. His own mom and sister?! I love them for standing by what is right rather what is blood.
I've called 3 services that do sweeps and unfortunately, all of these businesses say they are only open for business during banker's hours. I think that's odd since they would probably be required to work strange hours in order to get what they want. I'm thinking it's just the initial consultation and contract time is where they limit hrs. I left messages and they will be calling me on my work line which should be secure since I work for the government.
Of course, he's trying to claim I am paranoid and need professional help, but given the fact such activity is illegal in most states (including mine), it's scary how much illegal stuff you can just buy online. He's stupid, but I can't imagine he's stupid enough to use work equipment, but at the same time, he's privy to what is out there privately.
In the meantime, my boys are suffering. My oldest has no doubt his room is bugged after something that transpired between us in the privacy of his room. My ex questioned him about it and he denied it, but told me. How fair is that to a young teen? I think this controlling and illegal behavior is child abuse.
I've been racking my brain trying to figure what is best for my sons. Please friends, give me your honest input as to what repercussions my sons or myself will suffer if I do or do not have this done? I'm fearful as I know doing nothing is making a decision as well as having a sweep done is doing something. Please help me consider any and all scenarios regarding my situation since I am too close emotionally to see everything?
I am so confused and conflicted...
Crushy
I now have proof he has bugged my house / boys' stuff. My attorney has told me I have to make a decision because even if I have a private sweep done, they are legally required to report it since it is a 3rd degree felony w/ some 2nd degree felonies in there. He told me he would do at least 6 mos physically in jail as well as lose his job.
Of course this would mean (only) $550 per mo in child support as well as double coverage for our sons. It would be difficult to get by on my own financially without this $, but my fiance insists on accepting that he pay for it and help make my mortgage pmt until I can sell my home. I have quite a bit of equity in my home as well as a pending settlement for the head on collision I was in last year. So, $ is not the problem, the problem is my sons seeing their dad being hauled off to jail.
My ex-MIL and ex-SIL are still close to me and have stood by me. They came to visit me last week and they even told me I need to do a sweep because if I don't, that sends the message to my boys that law enforcement is above the law. His own mom and sister?! I love them for standing by what is right rather what is blood.
I've called 3 services that do sweeps and unfortunately, all of these businesses say they are only open for business during banker's hours. I think that's odd since they would probably be required to work strange hours in order to get what they want. I'm thinking it's just the initial consultation and contract time is where they limit hrs. I left messages and they will be calling me on my work line which should be secure since I work for the government.
Of course, he's trying to claim I am paranoid and need professional help, but given the fact such activity is illegal in most states (including mine), it's scary how much illegal stuff you can just buy online. He's stupid, but I can't imagine he's stupid enough to use work equipment, but at the same time, he's privy to what is out there privately.
In the meantime, my boys are suffering. My oldest has no doubt his room is bugged after something that transpired between us in the privacy of his room. My ex questioned him about it and he denied it, but told me. How fair is that to a young teen? I think this controlling and illegal behavior is child abuse.
I've been racking my brain trying to figure what is best for my sons. Please friends, give me your honest input as to what repercussions my sons or myself will suffer if I do or do not have this done? I'm fearful as I know doing nothing is making a decision as well as having a sweep done is doing something. Please help me consider any and all scenarios regarding my situation since I am too close emotionally to see everything?
I am so confused and conflicted...
Crushy