Post by lostteacher on Apr 12, 2008 20:19:43 GMT -5
....and i don't know why it's bothering me so much. there's a lot of history between us. we were really good friends since she started dating my ex's brother. we even started hanging out again for a while last year, until my ex's gf got her panties in a bunch about that, and we haven't really spoken since.
so today i ran into an old friend, and we got to chatting, and she told me that they are expecting.
part of me is super happy for them. i still love them like brother/sister, and i know that she really wanted to have kids. but another part of me is super sad. just before the ex and i seperated, the sis and i had had a long chat about wanting kids, and trying to get pregnant at the same time. so that makes me sad. and it also makes me think about just how far i am from having that in my life. i am nowhere near having kids, and it makes me feel like time is slipping away.
i can't really share this with others.....i mean, we've been apart for a number of years now, and it really shouldn't be bothering me this much. i just can't get it out of my head.
part of me is super happy for them. i still love them like brother/sister, and i know that she really wanted to have kids. but another part of me is super sad. just before the ex and i seperated, the sis and i had had a long chat about wanting kids, and trying to get pregnant at the same time. so that makes me sad.
You are mourning the loss of your dreams for everything you had hoped for in your future....and I don't really know that there's a timeline on that, is there?
I feel sort of the same way about one of my friends....although actually my sis-in-law and brother had my neice recently....and I had expected that to be really hard for me.....but it's actually been easier to deal with than my friend's pregnancy.
I feel for you, LT. I don't know what to suggest though....other than just trying to tell yourself that someday you WILL have that too, and try not to be too hard on yourself for grieving the loss of that dream with your ex. It sucks that you feel like you have noone to share that with though....that just makes it worse. ((((Hugs))))
~ For us there is only the trying. The rest is not our business. ~
Post by lostteacher on Apr 12, 2008 23:17:34 GMT -5
i just feel like i should be a bit more over things. it's hard because i am not willing to give up where i live, or some of my friends....and because of that i will always here things about him and his family from time to time. you are right....it was my dream. and i am working so hard to make other dreams happen, and it's just a little exhausting sometimes.