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Post by kittenhart on Jun 5, 2008 13:14:05 GMT -5
little by little, and day by day, it gets better
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 5, 2008 16:00:01 GMT -5
Thank you, beautiful ladies. Did I mention my feet hurt like a motherfracker when I came in? It's all good - still coasting the feeling.
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Jun 5, 2008 17:53:41 GMT -5
;D
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 8, 2008 8:37:46 GMT -5
Well, that lasted long didn't it? I wake up, see one thing that reminds me of you and I am involved in an almost full-blown panic attack. God, what is wrong with me? I take one step forward and jump back a mile it seems. Cant even write coherenlty right now.
*sighs*
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Post by kittenhart on Jun 8, 2008 13:28:51 GMT -5
lying still helps...super still so that you are almost barely breathing....just for a least 10 minutes. I'm sorry, sweetie Just let it pass over you and dissipate.....
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 10, 2008 17:14:56 GMT -5
Thank you, sweety. I really wasn't expecting that. Guess its still socking it to me, huh? Day by day, I guess...
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 10, 2008 17:24:03 GMT -5
S - i'm gonna try and not let you affect me anymore. I'm too good for this.I gave you a lot (if not all) of me, and I deserve someone who loves me back, if not the same way, at least wants me. This year has shown me how much growing I can do, how much love I can give myself. So hey, despite the missing you, despite the feelings, I'm doing ok. I'm doing ok. And thats just fine with me.
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 20, 2008 4:51:10 GMT -5
S - happy birthday...
Wish I had more to say, but I really dont.
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 20, 2008 14:26:31 GMT -5
Guess I do have more to say...I miss you. I really, really, really miss you...
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 21, 2008 5:17:47 GMT -5
I wish I didnt dream about you. I wish I didnt love you still. I wish I didnt miss you. I wish I didnt wake up crying. I wish I could be better at visualising a life without you. I wish I didnt go to sleep thinking of you and wake thinking of you. I hate this all, and I cant stand the fact that I miss you and that you dont seem to care at all.
I wish I could stop crying right now.
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Post by ionysis on Jun 21, 2008 15:23:17 GMT -5
Oh Phoenixx, so sorry you're feeling down. It will pass, quicker every time - you know it. Sometimes the dark days can feel very dark indeed I know but have hope. You will keep taking steps forward and the dark days will happen less and less. You deserve love, love that lasts. We all do. Chin up honey. Xx
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 26, 2008 6:40:17 GMT -5
Thank you Ion...that means so much to me. It did pass - but now he called. Oy vey. I am keeping grounded and mentally focused - and your words help. Thank you...XOXO
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Post by goods on Jun 26, 2008 7:14:28 GMT -5
What do you want for your life Phoenixx? Is he truly who you want by your side till the end of time?
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Post by RO on Jun 26, 2008 12:55:25 GMT -5
i KNOW you are way smarter this time around and YOU will not let him mind fuck you anymore...
you are far too beautiful and amazing to put up with his selfishness.
you have come so far...1 year of your master's under your belt, a new job...and new adventures around every corner!
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Post by Phoenixx on Jun 28, 2008 8:03:23 GMT -5
What do you want for your life Phoenixx? Is he truly who you want by your side till the end of time? Categorically YES. I want him to be there forever. That doesnt negate the fact that i've grown a lot this year, and had a lot of fun on my own and been very happy. But - despite it all, he makes me happy. What can I say? I can only be truthful with myself. And I am done lying to him. RO - thank you. You more than anyone know what I've gone through and have been there with me every step of the way. Thank you...
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