Anyone who knows Shey, knows that she is always there with a calm reasoned response. That she would rather have a long discussion with someone about something that a short fight. Forgiving to the point of fault about other's points of view and failings. Yeah they know you are usually hard to rile.
Im sure that you do just fine with your daughters. They are obviously incredibly smart and that has as much to do with genes as it does with a parent being involved and interested in their children's well being. I admire parents who focus on their child's education as well as their involvement in the extras. My own mother was too sick when I was growing up to make any such allowances or focus on that at all.
But I know and have spoken to several people who have met you and your angels in person and they say you tend to be a bit on the leinent side with some things. Who cares though Shey. You are happy with your parenting and I've learned that everyone has a slightly different parenting style. And as Bob pointed out, different things work for different kids, it is all a knack of learning which things works for your kid. I've learned more in listening to those I diagree with that I ever have just going with the flow as far as parenting tips go.
Although I am wondering who of the limited people who have met my kids might have had that impression and spoken of it to you (the list is actually pretty small) - you are absolutely right. I look for differing opinions to help me clarify my own stance - either to move it or to be more secure that I have at least thought about it. - which is why I found THIS -
I haven't EVER EVER been the one to bring it up. If something was mentioned that was even similar to what might have occured, then the conclusion was immediately jumped to without any discussion. You draw your own parallels, and I let you because I figure if it makes it easier for you to do so rather than talk to me/face the truth of things, then fine.
We have spoken about this privately - but I also want to say publicly that I do NOT jump to those conclusions without the attempt at discussion - and HAVE discussed MANY uncomfortable things with many people so I WOULDN'T jump to the wrong conclusions, including now - but will NOT accept that I won't talk to anyone or face any truths. I think you will agree with that if you think about it - including in this instance.
I don't want to continue this in public, but if you feel the need to still talk, I am willing to take this to a private venue Shey. At some point you have to make the choice to let things go rather than let them affect the course of the rest of your life.
For everyone else - we HAVE talked privately, and have worked it through so hopefully we won't EVER have hurt feelings about this stuff without discussing it again.
[glow=red,2,300]I just thought to offer my own differing opinion, but I guess that isn't allowed around here?[/glow]
umm no its not
says who? i have a differing opinion from the two of you. by the time i was 12, heck by the time i was in elementary school, i knew damn well what i needed to do for schoolwork and homework, and that it was my responsibility to make sure it was done. yes, my parents were always around if i had questions, and my mother or father sat down with me each evening to discuss what homework i'd done that day and had a look at it, but i knew that it was my job to come home from school and get it done before i did anything else.
i was also staying home by myself for short periods of time after school upon occasion by the time i was 9, and babysitting (for an infant and a toddler) when i was 12.
my parents were far from permissive. but it's because they were strict when i was young that i learned what was expected of me, and why they could trust me to do the right thing (most of the time!) when i was older. yes, i went through a teen rebellion stage, but never to the point when i went over the line to something that could have adversely affected my future, since i knew actions had consequences.
i will acknowledge that every kid is different, and it's a parent's job to know the limitations of his or her child. but i don't think it is fair to assume that every child has the same limitations.