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Post by soupnazi on Jun 30, 2008 23:28:23 GMT -5
How come a woman, once a divorce is final, gets to keep your last name? In my case, there are no biological kids, so what the f gives her the right to keep MY good name? She was a lying, cheating, conniving, slut. Why in the hell does the law let her keep a name instead of reverting back to her maiden name? Hell, if I had my way, her "new" last name would be the scarlet letter that she would have to wear as a cheating whore. OK...rant off. For now, anyway.
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Post by goods on Jul 1, 2008 7:35:45 GMT -5
So far my ex is keeping my name.... it bothered me at first but I am past that now. All of her work info (email, phone, etc) is under her married name, plus driver license and a couple hundred other things... So if she wants to keep it... fine. It is not a reflection upon me.
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Post by jules on Jul 1, 2008 9:09:14 GMT -5
while i do not want to keep my married name and have no desire to be affiliated with my ex or his family, for now i haven't yet been able to change it legally purely for practical reasons. first tax season. then having to immediately refinance. then traveling. initially i wanted to change it back to my maiden name right away, and i still plan to do so eventually, but i've come to realize that a name is just a name -- it's not any reflection on me or any affiliation with my ex. (of course this is something i wish my ex realized when i didn't want to change my last name when we got married in the first place... i guess his male pride got in the way or something, and i compromised...)
but i digress. changing one's last name as an adult with assets, bank accounts, bills, lines of credit, several forms of identification, etc. is a royal pain in the ass. her choosing not to go through that hassle right away is no reflection on you, and doesn't even have anything to do with you. and if there are no kids, there's no reason you should even know what her last name situation is now anyway, imo.
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Post by soupnazi on Jul 1, 2008 11:41:37 GMT -5
Well here's the thing, Jules, we have been apart for three years, divorced for over two.
My thing is, if the bitch wanted out of our marriage so bad, and was willing to take the time to cheat multiple times to do it, then by god, in three years, she can find the time to change her name to something else. I don't care what that name is, although I could offer a few.
I don't care that it is difficult to change bank accounts, social security, or any of that. Since there are no kids involved to have to explain why mommy's last name is different, I have no concern how much trouble she would have to go to in order to drop my name.
On the flip side, it does give me a bit of satisfaction that the asshole that she left me for has to see my name all the time, if only as a reminder of sleeping with a married woman, no matter what the "status" of the "marriage" was.
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Post by RO on Jul 1, 2008 14:47:08 GMT -5
Just my .02
I changed my name the day I got my final paperwork...it was delayed because my dob was wrong on the final decree. The EXH never thought I would even consider changing my name back. He was stunned I did not wish to keep his name. His parents were stunned. It was no reflection on him...and it was a personal choice that I am thrilled I made and happy I followed through with the paperwork afterwards.
To each his own. IMHO.
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Post by shattered on Jul 1, 2008 15:26:15 GMT -5
Dear Soupnazi (have you ever had his soups, btw? I found them to be very mediocre),
Re. your specific situation -- I hear you! (No, not in similar situation at all -- but if I were, I think I'd feel exactly the same way.)
Welcome to the board.
Shattered
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Post by redskyatnight on Jul 1, 2008 17:30:14 GMT -5
Your frustration seems to come from the fact that you can not make her change her name. She can do and have whatever name she chooses and, not to be unempathetic, you can not make her change it. Try to let it go. You'll feel better.
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Post by soupnazi on Jul 1, 2008 17:50:55 GMT -5
Oh I know I can't make her change it, and for as much as is humanly possible, I have let go of everything. This "vent" stemmed from a legal form I got in the mail the other day, and seeing her signature on there just set me off.
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Post by jules on Jul 1, 2008 20:45:03 GMT -5
i'm just playing devil's advocate because it seems that's what i do best. ;D
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Post by rocko on Jul 2, 2008 9:44:04 GMT -5
I kept my ex's name for keeping it the same as the kids last name.
If it were not for that I would have changed it.
Many people have that put in their divorce decree that the woman has ___ amount of time to change it.
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