Post by shattered on Jul 1, 2008 10:07:54 GMT -5
OK, the absolutely ONLY male attention that I have had since the breakup nine months ago has been -- while very flattering -- incredibly confusing.
This *very* cute young (he's 30, I'm 41) French guy calls me from Paris every week. He always tells me his misses me. He has invited me to come visit him in Paris in August -- with free plane tickets.
Seem pretty clear cut? This guy sounds interested, right?
Except: He's been calling me regularly and saying he misses me for one and a half years. He was doing this back when I was still with the boyfriend. Whom he knew about (and bf knew about him).
I met him when he was living in the U.S. We hung out five or six times as friends. He moved back to Paris and kept calling. When I told him bf and I got engaged, he was really happy for me. I really thought we were just friends, and I would have been happy to remain just friends.
However, having been dumped the way I was, and considering my overall situation, I'm pretty eager for a distraction. So here's this incredibly cute, super nice guy calling me every week and inviting me to come visit him, and I'm as single as it gets, so over time, of course I have now come to see him in a non-platonic way. I've develped the major hots for him, to be honest.
He hasn't sent me the ticket yet, but if he does, I plan on going. In September, he says, he's moving back to the U.S. (yes, to D.C.). (But he's been telling me for well over a year that he's "about to move back" so who knows what that means.)
For the life of me, I can't figure out if his guy is interested romantically, or if he just really, really, really likes me as a friend. Our conversations are very buddy-ish. Not flirtatious, and only minimal personal stuff. We really just talk about how our week was, what we did, and we talk about soccer. He is a huge fan, and now he's gotten me hooked.
But I have come to see him as much more than a friend, and I'm afraid I'm going to be despondent if I go over there and he treats me like a sister.
I'm even more afraid of going over there, having a steamy romance, and then getting my heart ripped to shreds again. I don't see anything long-term coming from this. Well, actually, I could picture dating him for a year or so, but I cannot picture him as my future husband. And I"m looking for someone to share my live with permanently, not just to have a fling with. And if we get romantically involved, I WILL get attached, that's the way it is for me, and then I"ll be heartbroken again.
Let's be honest -- even if we do start something, statistically the overwhelming odds are that he will be the one to end the relationship and move on to a younger woman.
He has been talking for MONTHS about how excited he is that I'm going to visit him the end of August. But still not ticket. I even mentioned that prices are going to go up and seats start selling out, but he doesn't seem concerned.
I don't think he's maliciously playing me, but I do think he might be kind of flaky. I think he means well, but I shouldn't rely on him. It's hard not to hope for *something* after one and a half years of weekly phone calls, though!
Well, at least I can obsess over this in place of "the situation."
Sigh, I just feel like I'm too old for this. I was soooo ready to settle down.
This *very* cute young (he's 30, I'm 41) French guy calls me from Paris every week. He always tells me his misses me. He has invited me to come visit him in Paris in August -- with free plane tickets.
Seem pretty clear cut? This guy sounds interested, right?
Except: He's been calling me regularly and saying he misses me for one and a half years. He was doing this back when I was still with the boyfriend. Whom he knew about (and bf knew about him).
I met him when he was living in the U.S. We hung out five or six times as friends. He moved back to Paris and kept calling. When I told him bf and I got engaged, he was really happy for me. I really thought we were just friends, and I would have been happy to remain just friends.
However, having been dumped the way I was, and considering my overall situation, I'm pretty eager for a distraction. So here's this incredibly cute, super nice guy calling me every week and inviting me to come visit him, and I'm as single as it gets, so over time, of course I have now come to see him in a non-platonic way. I've develped the major hots for him, to be honest.
He hasn't sent me the ticket yet, but if he does, I plan on going. In September, he says, he's moving back to the U.S. (yes, to D.C.). (But he's been telling me for well over a year that he's "about to move back" so who knows what that means.)
For the life of me, I can't figure out if his guy is interested romantically, or if he just really, really, really likes me as a friend. Our conversations are very buddy-ish. Not flirtatious, and only minimal personal stuff. We really just talk about how our week was, what we did, and we talk about soccer. He is a huge fan, and now he's gotten me hooked.
But I have come to see him as much more than a friend, and I'm afraid I'm going to be despondent if I go over there and he treats me like a sister.
I'm even more afraid of going over there, having a steamy romance, and then getting my heart ripped to shreds again. I don't see anything long-term coming from this. Well, actually, I could picture dating him for a year or so, but I cannot picture him as my future husband. And I"m looking for someone to share my live with permanently, not just to have a fling with. And if we get romantically involved, I WILL get attached, that's the way it is for me, and then I"ll be heartbroken again.
Let's be honest -- even if we do start something, statistically the overwhelming odds are that he will be the one to end the relationship and move on to a younger woman.
He has been talking for MONTHS about how excited he is that I'm going to visit him the end of August. But still not ticket. I even mentioned that prices are going to go up and seats start selling out, but he doesn't seem concerned.
I don't think he's maliciously playing me, but I do think he might be kind of flaky. I think he means well, but I shouldn't rely on him. It's hard not to hope for *something* after one and a half years of weekly phone calls, though!
Well, at least I can obsess over this in place of "the situation."
Sigh, I just feel like I'm too old for this. I was soooo ready to settle down.