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Post by Mel (cherry) on Jul 26, 2008 12:33:57 GMT -5
Okay, this has gone from a simple mention of wishing to see the kids sometime this summer, to them saying they are going to come, to them telling me (not asking) they would be picking them up and taking them somewhere.
There are several reasons why I don't think this is a good idea. Some of you who have read my story from the start know why I feel that way.
Suffice to say, I was highly insulted that she assumed they would be allowed to do whatever they wished without speaking to me first; topped off with the smug attitude of control they are attempting to wield against me as far as the whole trust issue is concerned..It is all rubbing me the wrong way.
Not to mention that if they did take them somewhere two hours away, if something happened, I am severely limited at this time by my health issues. I would rather they stay in the area if they must be here.
I thought of listing the things they could do around here and explaining the situation. What do you guys think?
And just so you know, don't bother with the whole they are family argument. I am completely unswayed by that. Thanks.
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Post by kittenhart on Jul 26, 2008 15:34:42 GMT -5
to them telling me (not asking) they would be picking them up and taking them somewhere. *red flag and warning bells going off* Not to mention that if they did take them somewhere two hours away, if something happened, I am severely limited at this time by my health issues. I would rather they stay in the area if they must be here. I thought of listing the things they could do around here and explaining the situation. I think that is perfectly fine, on your part, to insist that they not be taken too far away. Legally, I'm not sure what limits there are on grandparents visitations in the States, but I know in Canada, they would not be able to just demand that they be able to take the kids somewhere without you agreeing to it......I know it must be awkward because you don't want your children to miss out on having their grandparents, but you should trust your gut feelings on this a bit too, I think.
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Post by AngelBaby on Jul 26, 2008 15:43:05 GMT -5
You probably know what I am going to say, but I'm going to say it anyway................ NO WAY IN HELL! NO WAY! If she thinks that you are just going to LET them take the kids, she has another thing coming..........
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Jul 27, 2008 14:10:26 GMT -5
Honestly, I have been dodging her calls, I just can't deal with her right now.......
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Jul 27, 2008 21:01:29 GMT -5
So she calls me tonight and tells me they are having scheduling issues due to ex f-i-l training with air force classes in TX, jury duty for my ex m-i-l and so she has a new suggestion.
They provide gas money and a few hundred dollars spending cash and I drive back and visit. I can see my aunt and my friends and the kids can visit all the family there.
Reasons why Im not on board:
~Again, there are health issues to consider that I cannot include in the equation until I find out what is up Tuesday.
~Said I would never set foot there again
~I just know the ex's parents are not going to respect what I say and take the kids to their dad's grave.....
~Such a long long long drive for the kids and I and I swore after doing it three times already, I wouldn't again.
Any thoughts??
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Post by rocko on Jul 28, 2008 8:27:06 GMT -5
I dont know what your health issues are at this time.
What I would do (and my xMIL understands)...if they want to see the kids we come as a package. She is more than welcome to come stay with me and spend time with the kids, but she does not take them off without me. I take them to visit her up there and they get time with her without me, but once again she does NOT take them anywhere without me.
I am overprotective. I know it, but I have good reason.
My xMIL stole my exh and ran with him. He grew up with a fake birth certificate/name. I do not *think* she would do that to me, but I am not willing to bet my kids on it.
She knows I do not like being away from my kids and she accepts it because I hold the power. I can keep her from seeing them.
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Post by jules on Jul 28, 2008 8:59:23 GMT -5
I think you should just tell them that you're not up to traveling. They are more than welcome to visit you, and if this summer isn't convenient, perhaps some weekend in the autumn would be better. And I absolutely don't think it's unreasonable to expect that they spend time with them in and around your town. The point is the time spent -- not the distance they take them in the car. Bottom line, you are their parent, you set the guidelines.
It would be particularly gracious (if it's feasible and you'd be comfortable with it) to offer that they stay with you in your home so they can spend as much time with the kids as possible during their visit (whenever it is.)
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Jul 28, 2008 13:07:30 GMT -5
She was all sweetness and light of course where she was a smug b!tch a few days ago............all because she wants something from me now.
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B52
Junior Member
Posts: 79
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Post by B52 on Jul 29, 2008 15:20:53 GMT -5
people are crappy that way...
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