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Post by freckles on Jul 28, 2008 23:09:16 GMT -5
Anyways I should not have said anything
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Post by freckles on Jul 28, 2008 23:11:33 GMT -5
So, I hope you feel better soon
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Post by soupnazi on Jul 28, 2008 23:18:16 GMT -5
Anyways I should not have said anything And maybe shattered shouldn't have put PM's on the board, but still, think about what you are saying to people. I've been around a couple of years, Freckles, I have seen some mighty outlandish things from you.
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Post by freckles on Jul 28, 2008 23:23:42 GMT -5
Anyways I should not have said anything And maybe shattered shouldn't have put PM's on the board, but still, think about what you are saying to people. I've been around a couple of years, Freckles, I have seen some mighty outlandish things from you. I hope you are not going to bring them up Whatever they are
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Post by soupnazi on Jul 28, 2008 23:32:07 GMT -5
And maybe shattered shouldn't have put PM's on the board, but still, think about what you are saying to people. I've been around a couple of years, Freckles, I have seen some mighty outlandish things from you. I hope you are not going to bring them up Whatever they are Heck, I have some stuff on Ojar I don't want to be reminded of. Freckles, at least as far as this post goes, think about what you say to people. Would you want something so superficial and meaningless said to you? I'm not picking at you, just giving you something to think about.
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Post by freckles on Jul 28, 2008 23:35:23 GMT -5
[quote author=soupnazi board=vent thread=1473 post=28110 time=1217305927Freckles, at least as far as this post goes, think about what you say to people. Would you want something so superficial and meaningless said to you?
I'm not picking at you, just giving you something to think about.[/quote]
I guess not
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Post by sheyd on Jul 29, 2008 9:47:06 GMT -5
YIKES! Shattered, although I agree it shouldn't have been said and wasn't appropriate, he tried to pick up your spirits with a compliment. It is something a lot of people do. "Hey, you may be crying, but you are the most beautiful crying person I ever saw!" Granted, that kind of thing should only be done by close people, in a friendly way, in person where it can be placed with an appropriate caring and supportive expression. However, it wasn't like he just told you you suck and are an idiot! I understand you not appreciating it, but I don't know that it deserved the attack it got back. It was misguided and socially inept, but coming from a good heart. I am glad, however, that you understand that it shouldn't have been said, Freck.
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Post by jules on Jul 29, 2008 10:03:49 GMT -5
Shey, she had every right to be pissed. It was inappropriate. It wasn't a compliment to make her feel better. It was an attempt to hit on her, disregarding (and thereby demeaning) anything she had said. This board needs to be a safe place where people can allow themselves to be vulnerable without being concerned that some members may try to take advantage of the sitatuation to further their own agenda.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Jul 29, 2008 10:10:12 GMT -5
Shey, we've all seen some things from Freckles I think. I haven't brought anything said in PM to the board but I don't think it's wrong for someone to decide they've had enough and call him on it. And, by his inital reaction (dodging any personal responsibility), I don't think it was wrong to address it publicly. Responding just by PM would not have netted any sort of positive results.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Jul 29, 2008 10:10:52 GMT -5
This board needs to be a safe place where people can allow themselves to be vulnerable without being concerned that some members may try to take advantage of the sitatuation to further their own agenda. VERY WELL SAID!!! I agree 100%.
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Jul 29, 2008 10:20:58 GMT -5
Shey this has gone on far longer than most would like. I don't think it is something to defend at this point. She had every right to say something.
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Jul 29, 2008 10:21:27 GMT -5
This board needs to be a safe place where people can allow themselves to be vulnerable without being concerned that some members may try to take advantage of the sitatuation to further their own agenda. VERY WELL SAID!!! I agree 100%. Ditto
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Post by shattered on Jul 29, 2008 10:56:30 GMT -5
Yikes!! I never dreamed a simple "Frecks, WTF?" would touch off a firestorm like this! I thought I had clarifed this already, but I must have failed, so let me try again: -- I do NOT see this as any kind of sexual harrassment thing whatsoever. Not in any way shape or form. -- The reason I was pissed was entirely because that comment was utterly inapproriate *to someone who is clearly in pain.* Had he written this in response to a light-hearted message, or out of the blue, that would have been fine. Really, I am not so fragile that I can't handle a comment like that. -- The comment was also absurdly meaningless, since Freckles has never seen a picture of me, has never gotten a physical descirption of me, has never heard my voice. Yes, in the past whenever he PM'd me, I wrote back to him, trying to give him advice on spelling and not talking to women about fertility, etc. But thank you to those of you who defended me! Might I point out, though, that I am not the one who first brought the PM *content* to the board? That was Frecks! I posted a generic WTF. The reason I posted it on the board instead of PMing back is, as someone here rightly pointed out, I didn't think just PMing would do a darn bit of good. As for the content of Freck's second PM, yes, that I did post -- because 1) it's just obnoxious, and 2) I wasn't giving out any personal info on him. Shey -- you have an interesting take on this. I hadn't thought of that. You know what -- maybe you're even right about that. This is Frecks, after all. But the bottom line is this: I had kinda had it with Frecks at this point, and I said so. I didn't think it was the end of the world. shattered who is NOT mean
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Post by JimB on Jul 29, 2008 11:28:30 GMT -5
You are Nice
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Post by sheyd on Jul 29, 2008 11:29:23 GMT -5
I don't think you were mean, you were in pain and reacting. I also don't think it was an attempt to hit on you. I think he is just clumsy with his compliments. He generally does try to make people feel better, and for women to him that means telling them he thinks they are desireable (whether he would ACTUALLY believe that or have any reason to know that or not!) I am the opposite of what he would actually want in a woman, but he still says things like he would marry me. Would he really? No. It is his way of saying I am desireable, even though for him personally I wouldn't be a match and he knows that.
I DO think he has to learn appropriateness, though. I hope this thread helped with that.
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