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Post by rocko on Jul 31, 2008 12:00:19 GMT -5
Kevin and I married in April of 2007. We have been together for one month short of 3 years now.
He has told me that our relationship will not count as much until we have been together longer than I was with my exh.
I just thought that was weird. I have been with Kevin longer than any other woman he has dated. The only relationship I have that is longer than mine with Kevin is the one with my exh.
exh and I were together from June 99 until seperated August 04 (divorce final May 2006).
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Post by redskyatnight on Jul 31, 2008 12:31:13 GMT -5
Count as Much? Toward what?
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Post by glassonion on Jul 31, 2008 13:16:53 GMT -5
Why should the amount of time spent in a relationship determine the worth of the relationship? That is a bizarre statement for him to make........
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Post by rocko on Jul 31, 2008 13:20:31 GMT -5
I dont know. I guess he feels that "ours" isn't as good because we haven't been together as long. Silly I know.
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Post by jules on Jul 31, 2008 13:49:22 GMT -5
Strangely enough, I can sort of understand his perspective...
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Post by rocko on Jul 31, 2008 14:06:10 GMT -5
I tried to explain to him that 3 happy compatable years is way better than what my exh and I had.
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Post by goods on Jul 31, 2008 14:13:01 GMT -5
You should talk to him more about what's behind that comment.....
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Post by rocko on Jul 31, 2008 14:43:32 GMT -5
I think it goes back to his insecurities about me being close to my exh's family, but not his. I also had children with the Exh, but not with him. I think that makes him feel like he is less, but he is not.
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Post by goods on Jul 31, 2008 15:11:26 GMT -5
That's stuff you need to discuss with him. (if you haven't already) One on one, no distractions....
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Post by rocko on Jul 31, 2008 15:45:51 GMT -5
Done that.
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Post by goods on Jul 31, 2008 15:50:37 GMT -5
Well.. then the only advice I can give you is, stay alert, it appears he feels insecure abpout the situation.... let him know how much he means to you. etc etc etc...
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Post by Kim Possible on Aug 1, 2008 18:32:04 GMT -5
Strangely enough, I can sort of understand his perspective... I get it too. I sort of feel the same way, like I need to 'make it past' the years together with my ex's for it to mean something. While I do agree that quality is of course important, there is something to say for quantity too, (of course, as long as you are happy together, and not staying together for teh sake of staying together). I'm still hoping for that longevity myself.
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Post by Kim Possible on Aug 1, 2008 18:40:06 GMT -5
I could also see his perspective of being the 'second husband', and him sort of joining your family. He was not married before, correct? He may feel like he is under a microscope, and will be compared (lets see if this one lasts, lol). Just a thought
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Post by rocko on Aug 2, 2008 18:58:59 GMT -5
He knows how it went down with my exh and has had the lovely chance to spend one on one time with him. He knows why it failed.
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