Post by Bobfromacctg on Aug 12, 2008 17:22:19 GMT -5
I don't mean to whine and hope this does not come out this way but I am so sick of dealing with medical bills. I'm sure this is a broken record - I have said this before but I have no place else to put this..
I found out today that the hospital costs for the surgery two weeks ago is $45,000. I have yet to see the surgeons bill, the Lab work, the pharmacy and the anesthesia bill. Granted, I will not have to pay that amount but it just never ends. I have been dealing with these charges his whole life and while its nothing against him - I am tired of it. 21 years of trying to figure out who to pay and how much to pay to keep it out of collections. Once I got sued by the hospital because they wanted more than the $50 I said I could pay. After so many months of receiving the $50 - I got served. "Happy Thanksgiving" the process server said as we unpacked the car from a 6 hour trip. I was stunned.
it took me 14 years to pay off his medical bills from when he was born and all the associated surgeries ($250,000) through his life. July of 2005 - debt free. September 2005 he was diagnosed with lukemia and it started all over again. $250,000 in bills...Granted he is alive and well but its the never ending pressure.. I did not owe all that but a a portion that renews ever year can grow to a huge amount.
My x stayed with him day and night in the hospital and he has told me many times how much he appreciated that. He is old enough to understand what a big deal that is. Granted its his mother but two weeks in a hospital wears you down. The lukemia was most of a year back and forth from the hospital.
I have sent her some of the medical bills so she could pay her part and she will nickel and dime me. "38% of 50.13 is xxx and since I bought him toothpast last week, then you can subtract that from my part". Drives me crazy...I don't hit her with every bill - if I did, I would present her with my before tax medical account of $2000. She should pay me 38% of that before the year even starts...but I don't.... I'm too damn nice for my own good.
My son is struggling to get over this surgery and I'm doing everything I can to help him. We talk at length over his problems and frustrations and sometimes, all I can do is set there and weep while he talks. Having your son in such continual pain and being powerless to fix anything is so incredibly difficult - there are just no words.
I'm not sleeping well because I know he is not sleeping. The tubes they have put in to drain his bladder (temporarily) hurt him when he lays down so he is starting to look very tired. This morning he told me is getting a bed sore - OMG..that will just complicate everything for him.
What can I do? Come home, cook him some steak or fish or something that he will like. Make him comfortable and re-assure him that I love him and that I am his greatest fan and will move heaven and earth to help him. But when push comes to shove - what he just simply gives up and decides that this is just one too many hills to climb? Those words have come out of his mouth...I do not know what I will do.
He has already said that if the lukemia returns, he won't fight it again. Once was enough.
My eldest child is struggling to raise a family and it is killing me to pull back and let the chips fall where they may. I'm afraid that if I don't help (to some account) he will get back involved selling drugs and then the problem of helping his wife and kids will fall more so back on me. Kind of like the welfare problem of today... how much do we help people? Another son struggling..
My youngest child stole from me this week as well. Granted it could be the scream for attention but a few years ago, I asked each child which brother they thought was the favorite child.
C picked B because of the medical attention
B picked S because he never got in trouble
S picked C becuase he always got in trouble.
Guess that shows we didn't play favorites and they seem to be balanced.
I'm rambling but my heart is breaking..
Tomorrow will be a better day - it has to be.
I found out today that the hospital costs for the surgery two weeks ago is $45,000. I have yet to see the surgeons bill, the Lab work, the pharmacy and the anesthesia bill. Granted, I will not have to pay that amount but it just never ends. I have been dealing with these charges his whole life and while its nothing against him - I am tired of it. 21 years of trying to figure out who to pay and how much to pay to keep it out of collections. Once I got sued by the hospital because they wanted more than the $50 I said I could pay. After so many months of receiving the $50 - I got served. "Happy Thanksgiving" the process server said as we unpacked the car from a 6 hour trip. I was stunned.
it took me 14 years to pay off his medical bills from when he was born and all the associated surgeries ($250,000) through his life. July of 2005 - debt free. September 2005 he was diagnosed with lukemia and it started all over again. $250,000 in bills...Granted he is alive and well but its the never ending pressure.. I did not owe all that but a a portion that renews ever year can grow to a huge amount.
My x stayed with him day and night in the hospital and he has told me many times how much he appreciated that. He is old enough to understand what a big deal that is. Granted its his mother but two weeks in a hospital wears you down. The lukemia was most of a year back and forth from the hospital.
I have sent her some of the medical bills so she could pay her part and she will nickel and dime me. "38% of 50.13 is xxx and since I bought him toothpast last week, then you can subtract that from my part". Drives me crazy...I don't hit her with every bill - if I did, I would present her with my before tax medical account of $2000. She should pay me 38% of that before the year even starts...but I don't.... I'm too damn nice for my own good.
My son is struggling to get over this surgery and I'm doing everything I can to help him. We talk at length over his problems and frustrations and sometimes, all I can do is set there and weep while he talks. Having your son in such continual pain and being powerless to fix anything is so incredibly difficult - there are just no words.
I'm not sleeping well because I know he is not sleeping. The tubes they have put in to drain his bladder (temporarily) hurt him when he lays down so he is starting to look very tired. This morning he told me is getting a bed sore - OMG..that will just complicate everything for him.
What can I do? Come home, cook him some steak or fish or something that he will like. Make him comfortable and re-assure him that I love him and that I am his greatest fan and will move heaven and earth to help him. But when push comes to shove - what he just simply gives up and decides that this is just one too many hills to climb? Those words have come out of his mouth...I do not know what I will do.
He has already said that if the lukemia returns, he won't fight it again. Once was enough.
My eldest child is struggling to raise a family and it is killing me to pull back and let the chips fall where they may. I'm afraid that if I don't help (to some account) he will get back involved selling drugs and then the problem of helping his wife and kids will fall more so back on me. Kind of like the welfare problem of today... how much do we help people? Another son struggling..
My youngest child stole from me this week as well. Granted it could be the scream for attention but a few years ago, I asked each child which brother they thought was the favorite child.
C picked B because of the medical attention
B picked S because he never got in trouble
S picked C becuase he always got in trouble.
Guess that shows we didn't play favorites and they seem to be balanced.
I'm rambling but my heart is breaking..
Tomorrow will be a better day - it has to be.