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Post by sheyd on Jan 22, 2008 16:24:51 GMT -5
No, it can't always "be done". Not to any standard of living that is healthy for a child. You can't just "ask for help" and get enough to even with. One friend of mine went on welfare to stay home with her daughter, when her car broke down, she couldn't get even a junker car, or afford a bus pass, and had to use her food stamps at a local gas station, unless I could come get her. She did have a landline phone, and considered giving it up to get that bus pass, but her daughter had severe asthma and she was afraid if there was an emergency she couldn't get her to the hospital without being able to call for help. She had to get additional food from the food shelf, particularly when her daughter developed allergies. She had to live in state provided housing, so when her daughter was playing in the backyard and found a broken needle (at 2) she decided she needed to go to work to provide a safer home. Of course, now she has no vehicle to get to work. I had to cosign on one for her, so she COULD go to work. Of course, then she lost welfare, before she even got her first check - and they don't give you enough for even basic necessities (like toilet paper) as it was - so she couldn't save. She asked for help - from me and from every social agency she could lay hands on.
I was working, providing for my family (which included my neice, btw) and giving her necessities and hand me downs too. By the time she realized she needed a job, she was so depressed and frustrated I had had to give "respite care" quite a few times, just so she would not explode. The dad had dropped out of the picture, and was only taking cash jobs so he wouldn't have to provide child support. It was NOT her choice to raise her daughter alone, nor to go to work. However, the reality is her daughter WAS better off when she went to work. She not only got better "things", she got a happier and better mom, and a safer environment, all things which DO matter to a child's development. My friend WAS a good parent, and if she could have had sufficient funds, her daughter would have been better off at home. Home would have been safe for her (public housing was NOT) her mom would have taken her on outings (good for child development AND parental relief) and she would have been socialized and educated at home as well as any childcare center could do - PLUS she would have had her mommy all day. That isn't how REAL life works, though.
So DON'T deal in the hypothetical - deal with REALITY. That is the real problem, Blazin, you aren't dealing with reality.
As for kids being better off at daycare - do you REALIZE how many children are abused at home, or lack sufficient care? Do you TRULY realize the effects of poverty? Until you know what it is to be poor in the US, which you obviously don't - you are going to have a hard time convincing people to jump on this bandwagon.
What if you married and had a child and your wife died? Will you humble yourself and stay home?
Shey
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Post by Saucy on Jan 22, 2008 16:26:30 GMT -5
We don't have time for family now, we have to hustle and make money. We don't have time to build relationships now, we have to earn that dough so we can go buy that stuff that is so important. We don't have time for community, we don't have time to relate to our fellow humans, we don't have time to care about others. And this is why i'm not so proud of my country anymore. Because my fellow citizens have become a bunch of sheep that don't have time for what's important. Btw, I work for a living. sounds pretty contridictory to me. I don't want America's influence to continue spreading throughout the world. I don't want people to start doing what we do. I don't want more mothers dropping their kids off at daycare. I don't want to see more big box stores pop up in Africa and Asia so that corporations can get those people addicted to their crap like we Americans are. I don't want to see foreign countries build up so much industrial infrastructure and corporate influence that it chokes the life out of people the way it has in this country. Instead of bitching and complaining while thinking of this real intelligent statement, why don't you think of how you can contribute to society to make it better. You CAN make a difference.
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Post by sheyd on Jan 22, 2008 16:31:23 GMT -5
Actually - VA Hospitals are... interesting... in the rules they have. For example, in MN, if a med student fails at their boards three times, they pretty much can't get a job- they can't get licensed. Except at VA Hospitals or on the Reservations. I think in general vets get the short end of the stick, when it comes to medical treatment of any kind...
Plus, nursing homes, at least in MN, went over a huge re-vamping within the last ten years or so. Many of the horror stories are from "old" ways of doing things, not current facilities (although some facilities still suck).
My dad wants to go into one of the homes here when he can't be helped by family any more. Unfortunately that time will be soon. He needs more medical care than anyone short of nursing staff with full facilities can provide when he has problems (he is currently in the hospital, but I think he will still get to go "home" a bit when this bout is over).
Shey
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Post by Saucy on Jan 22, 2008 16:34:00 GMT -5
There's a place called "Leisure World" in Seal Beach, CA. Dam, when i get old, i think thats the place I want to be. Living Leisurly. a friend told me its pretty kick ass in there.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 22, 2008 16:44:36 GMT -5
As for kids being better off at daycare - do you REALIZE how many children are abused at home, or lack sufficient care? Do you TRULY realize the effects of poverty? Until you know what it is to be poor in the US, which you obviously don't - you are going to have a hard time convincing people to jump on this bandwagon. So now these parents who drop their kids off at daycare are abusive? And their kids are better off at daycare than being at home with their abusive parents? You're just full of practical information aren't you? Hey everybody, you should send your kids to daycare because they're being abused at home! That's one of the biggest loads of bullshit I've heard in a long, long time. You talk about the effects of poverty Shey like you actually know what the hell you're talking about. Well you don't sista. The fact is, over 3/4 of this world's population lives in what our government calls "poverty". Our government discourages us from poverty because if we're not buying shit then we can't feed the giant corporations that fatten the pockets of our politicians. The definition of poverty that our government pushes on us is nothing but a ploy, a tactic to scare it's people into consuming more and more. Poverty? What does anybody in our country know about poverty? Squat, that's what. Shey, you wouldn't know poverty if it fell on your face. Poverty is a village full of aids ridden people with no food, no water, no sewage, no electricity, no money, no education, no medicine, no hospitals, no help. So spare me any of your little rants on poverty in America. I've seen poverty with my own 2 eyes, you, obviously have not. And for your information Shey, i'm not on a bandwagon. I simply believe the same way our nation used to believe up until feminism took hold. You think 50 years ago the mothers of this country dropped their kids off at daycare while they went to work? I don't think so hun. I'm not bitching or complaining. I'm simply telling people what I believe. And there's no better thing a man can do than live and represent what he believes in his heart to be true.
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Post by JimB on Jan 22, 2008 16:57:31 GMT -5
What if? I don't deal in the hypothetical, sorry. Can you say "irony", Blazin? Because your entire argument is based on a hypothetical construct - a world in which economic reality takes a back seat to good ol' fashioned family values. I agree with a lot of your points, but you've got your patented broad brush out for more paintin'. As is often the case with your arguments, you take your specific beliefs and your specific life experience and try to apply it to everyone. (It'd probably go down better without the heapin' helpin' of self-righteousness.) Believe, if you will, that all mothers should aspire to in-home, parental care 100% of the time, just as all adult children should aspire to provide in-home care for their aging parents. I completely agree with that. But recognize that for any individual (including yourself), life has its share of unfulfilled aspirations. Compromise is a part of life, both within and outside of romantic relationships. And not everyone's reality matches up with yours. Count your blessings that you, due to your ambition, focus, and hard work (along with, I'm sure, a little luck), are able to sit on the throne of self-actualization. But I'm not surprised that your decrees from such a splendid height are meeting with plenty of resistance.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 22, 2008 17:08:40 GMT -5
Can you say "irony", Blazin? Because your entire argument is based on a hypothetical construct - a world in which economic reality takes a back seat to good ol' fashioned family values. Wow, I guess you missed the part where most of the world's 4 billion people manage to live just fine in your "hypothetical construct". Americans truly are oblivious to what really goes on in this world. And the majority of our population has the audacity to think we actually know what's best. Americans dont' know shit, we just think we do. And unfortunately that's the reputation we've garnered throughout the world.
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Post by lumpy on Jan 22, 2008 17:13:18 GMT -5
Count your blessings that you, due to your ambition, focus, and hard work (along with, I'm sure, a little luck), are able to sit on the throne of self-actualization. But I'm not surprised that your decrees from such a splendid height are meeting with plenty of resistance. So Yertle, the Turtle King, lifted his hand And Yertle, the Turtle King, gave a command. He ordered nine turtles to swim to his stone And, using these turtles, he built a new throne. He made each turtle stand on another one's back And he piled them all up in a nine-turtle stack. And then Yertle climbed up. He sat down on the pile. What a wonderful view! He could see 'most a mile! "All mine!" Yertle cried. "Oh, the things I now rule! I'm the king of a cow! And I'm the king of a mule! I'm the king of a house! And, what's more, beyond that I'm the king of a blueberry bush and a cat! I'm Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me! For I am the ruler of all that I see!" And all through the morning, he sat up there high Saying over and over, "A great king am I!" Until 'long about noon. Then he heard a faint sigh. "What's that?" snapped the king And he looked down the stack. And he saw, at the bottom, a turtle named Mack. Just a part of his throne. And this plain little turtle Looked up and he said, "Beg your pardon, King Yertle. I've pains in my back and my shoulders and knees. How long must we stand here, Your Majesty, please?" "SILENCE!" the King of the Turtles barked back. "I'm king, and you're only a turtle named Mack." "You stay in your place while I sit here and rule. I'm the king of a cow! And I'm the king of a mule! I'm the king of a house! And a bush! And a cat! But that isn't all. I'll do better than that! /Loves me some Suess
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