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values
Sept 6, 2008 10:53:43 GMT -5
Post by jules on Sept 6, 2008 10:53:43 GMT -5
Dad, I love you dearly but no matter how many times you try to talk me into it, NO I have no ambition to claw my way to the top of the corporate ladder. I can't stand the bunch of phony folks that reside there -- why would I want to BE one of them? The money. You keep pushing about the money. I tried to explain to you last night that I have no desire nor need for a ridiculous amount of money. It's certainly not something I'm willing to sell my soul to acheive. I have no family. I have no kids, therefore I have no college savings. It is just me. Money won't change that. I don't care about driving a fancy car. The house I have is too big for one person already -- why would I want a bigger one?
I'm sorry you're disapppointed with me. I'm sorry I'm apparently a failure both professionally and personally. This isn't the life I planned either. But as much as is out of my control, there are a few things that still are, and I need to remain true to myself as much as I possibly can.
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values
Sept 6, 2008 15:50:48 GMT -5
Post by kittenhart on Sept 6, 2008 15:50:48 GMT -5
I'm sorry you're disapppointed with me. I'm sorry I'm apparently a failure both professionally and personally. This isn't the life I planned either. But as much as is out of my control, there are a few things that still are, and I need to remain true to myself as much as I possibly can. (((Hugs))) jules. It is hard when family is just trying to be helpful, but ends up making you feel like a total failure....this has happened to me a couple of times lately. I think you're doing the right thing by staying true to yourself....noone can really know what is best for you, but you, after all. I don't know what to say to make the divorce feel like less of a failure...I wish I did cause I would also say it to myself I guess just try to focus on the fact that you did your best to make things work with your ex, and ultimately, in the end, it just takes two....it takes the other person to be as commited as you were....otherwise it's just untenable in the long haul. I share your sense of failure- but I am trying to see it as a positive thing as well, a chance to start over, and an opportunity to just enjoy being on my own and doing my own thing. And I'm trying not to cave when I feel the subtle (or not so very) pressure from loved ones to do or be something other than I really am. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of me, too. We have come along way since this time last year.
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values
Sept 6, 2008 22:23:35 GMT -5
Post by redskyatnight on Sept 6, 2008 22:23:35 GMT -5
(((Hugs))) jules. It is hard when family is just trying to be helpful, but ends up making you feel like a total failure....this has happened to me a couple of times lately. I think you're doing the right thing by staying true to yourself....noone can really know what is best for you, but you, after all. I know too, the pressure a family member can put on you and how much you want to please them, yet remain true to yourself. It's a bad place to be. It is hard to hold your ground and make people understand that you don't want what they want. The thing is, I can't make them think any differently, neither can you. Your dad wants more for you because he wants to see that you are taken care of. A high paying job will take care of you. It stinks that he wants to put his values and beliefs on you, but you can't change how he thinks or feels. The only thing you can do is to make him know that you are happy with you who you are and what you do. I think that is the bottom line for all parents anyway. They want their kids secure. Security means money to him. I'm sorry.
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