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Post by redskyatnight on Sept 30, 2008 12:37:35 GMT -5
It sounds like you at least put their minds at ease about your living situation. They might have thought you were some old hag looking for a sugar daddy. I know you aren't and J knows you aren't, but parents are protective. Good job.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 2, 2008 12:06:47 GMT -5
It sounds like you at least put their minds at ease about your living situation. They might have thought you were some old hag looking for a sugar daddy. I know you aren't and J knows you aren't, but parents are protective. Good job. I do think without doubt that the thought had to have crossed their minds. But, yes, J and I both know that isn't the case and so we're comfortable in that. He's said on several times that he hoped his dad wasn't too big of a jerk. I told him that there was a time or two I did have to not be a smart ass to him (as being so is fairly in my nature). J laughed and told me I had every right to be but acknowledged that yes, I am pretty quiet around new people. In us talking last night, I guess he hadn't realized half of what was said and it dawned on me that his dad made several of the comments when J had gone outside to the grill. Either way, J thinks that I did a pretty good job and said at least he gave me warning! lol Yeah, at least... His dad made sure to put me on the spot and yes, it often times felt like there could be no right answer. He'd say one thing and then make a comment so far on the other side of the fence it was like talking to someone with a switch that just kept flipping back and forth. I definatly felt like he was asking questions in a certain manner just to guage my reaction. It was tough! But, I held it together. Thanks again for the support everyone. For a few days after, I felt like I was second guessing myself or my answers to things. But, I realize that's not my problem, it's J's dad's problem really. And, I have no need to second guess myself at all. I admit that it would be nice if they like me and if they are more accepting of things but I won't die if they don't.
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Post by rocko on Oct 2, 2008 12:13:33 GMT -5
I am not defending him at all, but just trying to give a little perspective that could possibly help.
I am very much like you describe his dad. I actually don't realize that what I say is rude or makes people uncomfortable. I sometimes ask people things that should not be asked and I don't do it to be mean or anything, but because I am very curious and analytical by nature.
I hope his grilling was innocent like mine normally is...
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 2, 2008 12:20:59 GMT -5
I am not defending him at all, but just trying to give a little perspective that could possibly help. I am very much like you describe his dad. I actually don't realize that what I say is rude or makes people uncomfortable. I sometimes ask people things that should not be asked and I don't do it to be mean or anything, but because I am very curious and analytical by nature. I hope his grilling was innocent like mine normally is... And I very much tried to take it that way as my mom is that way too (though she does it on purpose sometimes -- Like her fav question is "So, what are your intentions with my daughter?" because she knows it puts people on the spot). I know from talking to Justin before I met him that it was very much how he was going to be. Still, some questions made me a little irritated or uncomfortable though I tried to take them very much as light-hearted and probably more to pick on me a little.
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Post by sheyd on Oct 2, 2008 14:45:56 GMT -5
Sometimes with someone like that, directness back helps... "did you ask that because you are wondering if I want a sugar-daddy?" with a light-hearted voice and a wink - sometimes the best defense is an offense. (as long as it isn't offensive! ) Answer questions with questions - "that is an interesting question!! I will answer that in a second, but I have to ask - What made you ask that?" I think his being so direct and less polite with you is a good sign - he is willing to trust you - at least enough to deal with you directly. If he didn't like you, he would deal with you only through his son.
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Post by shattered on Oct 2, 2008 15:17:28 GMT -5
Sometimes with someone like that, directness back helps... "did you ask that because you are wondering if I want a sugar-daddy?" with a light-hearted voice and a wink - sometimes the best defense is an offense. (as long as it isn't offensive! ) Answer questions with questions - "that is an interesting question!! I will answer that in a second, but I have to ask - What made you ask that?" I think his being so direct and less polite with you is a good sign - he is willing to trust you - at least enough to deal with you directly. If he didn't like you, he would deal with you only through his son. Excellent idea.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 2, 2008 17:50:05 GMT -5
Sometimes with someone like that, directness back helps... "did you ask that because you are wondering if I want a sugar-daddy?" with a light-hearted voice and a wink - sometimes the best defense is an offense. (as long as it isn't offensive! ) Answer questions with questions - "that is an interesting question!! I will answer that in a second, but I have to ask - What made you ask that?" I think his being so direct and less polite with you is a good sign - he is willing to trust you - at least enough to deal with you directly. If he didn't like you, he would deal with you only through his son. Great idea and wonderful perspective (like so many that have been expressed). Thank you!! I will keep this in mind for sure for next time because I've been informed the next time might be sooner rather than later that I'm around them again.
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