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Post by glassonion on Oct 8, 2008 8:47:29 GMT -5
I have reached my breaking point regarding my exh and today I am finally going to do something about it.
The story goes like this: he has been in violation of our divorce decree for several years. He has not held down a job for over 18 months, therefore rarely pays child support. He has once again failed to provide our children with health insurance and has canceled his own life insurance. In his mind, these are ways of screwing me but the reality is that this is screwing over the children.
As soon as I am done venting here, I am placing a call to my lawyer and take legal action against this bum.
Ok - here I go. Wish me luck!!!
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Post by redskyatnight on Oct 8, 2008 8:50:26 GMT -5
Good for you! You have given him enough time and space to do the right thing. It is time. Good luck!
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Post by shattered on Oct 8, 2008 9:51:25 GMT -5
Yes, good for you, and good, good luck!!
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 8, 2008 10:23:27 GMT -5
I can relate and sympathize with you. All I can say is I wish you the best of luck. You are a brave woman to take on the fight. I have not one but two exes who share your ex's jacked up way of thinking this is only harming you. I wish I had the means to be able to fight the fight and I don't. So, I really do wish you the best of luck. I will be hoping and praying for a positive outcome.
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Post by glassonion on Oct 13, 2008 17:27:46 GMT -5
I'm pissed at the entire legal system!!!
Apparently, my ex is a certifiable deadbeat and there is basically not too much I can do about it.
Sure I can take him to court, but the reality is this: he has no job, no car, no bank accounts, no home, so therefore, there really isn't any money for me to go after.
GRRRR
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Post by rocko on Oct 14, 2008 8:00:38 GMT -5
Where do you live? It would cost you a little and be a little pain in the arse, but if you have your child support set up to go through the state they will put him in jail if he doesn't pay. That wouldnt' help the kids, but maybe it would give him a little motivation to get a FRIGGIN job.
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Post by sheyd on Oct 14, 2008 9:18:52 GMT -5
You may not get money NOW - but it will ensure you WILL get it if he ever goes anywhere, and perhaps will impress upon him that he SHOULD. I still say take him to court anyway.
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Post by glassonion on Oct 14, 2008 13:53:05 GMT -5
I live in NJ, so does my ex. I already have had his wages garnished - probation through the state....but now that there is NO income, no unemployment, no assets, no nothing, there aren't really anyplace to get the funds from.
As far as being arrested, first I have to file a motion, take him to court where the judge will tell him you have so much time to pay up - now get a job.
UGH
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Post by jules on Oct 14, 2008 13:59:19 GMT -5
Go get him. Seriously, it's part of being a friggin' ADULT, nevermind a father, for God's sake. Time for him to grow up and take the most basic of responsibility.
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Post by rocko on Oct 14, 2008 14:27:55 GMT -5
Many "moms" and "dads" here only pay to stay out of jail. I hate to say that, but it is how it is. Having jail time to back up the law helps...in some cases. I know one guy that goes to jail for a month every year in KY just not to have to pay child support.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 15, 2008 14:51:07 GMT -5
I'm pissed at the entire legal system!!! Apparently, my ex is a certifiable deadbeat and there is basically not too much I can do about it. Sure I can take him to court, but the reality is this: he has no job, no car, no bank accounts, no home, so therefore, there really isn't any money for me to go after. GRRRR If it makes you feel any better (highly sarcastic), if they go to jail and continue to not pay, the courts sometimes say, "Sorry, we've exausted all of our options. Our hands are tied and there is nothing we can do." Nice legal system, isn't it! I could just scream honestly.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 15, 2008 14:54:43 GMT -5
Go get him. Seriously, it's part of being a friggin' ADULT, nevermind a father, for God's sake. Time for him to grow up and take the most basic of responsibility. Yes, I've personally found not one but two of these men out there. YAY for my personal lack of observance! glassonion, I can seriously relate. I know that taking them to court can sometimes seem like it's a bigger hassel for you than it is for them. It's hard because it turns to be then your problem because you have to do so much work to just get it that far. But, sometimes, it can make you feel better to feel like you're trying. If they pay or don't it's on them. But at least you can hold to your own personal value system that you tried. You put up your own fight as opposed to allowing yourself to be victim. Sometimes it's all in the fight, win or lose, because you upheld your end to not give up.
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Post by rocko on Oct 15, 2008 20:23:35 GMT -5
Go get him. Seriously, it's part of being a friggin' ADULT, nevermind a father, for God's sake. Time for him to grow up and take the most basic of responsibility. Yes, I've personally found not one but two of these men out there. YAY for my personal lack of observance! I bagged me one, too!!
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Post by glassonion on Oct 17, 2008 9:46:16 GMT -5
i will never, EVER be able to understand why one would not want to do what is right for their children.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 17, 2008 10:31:09 GMT -5
Honestly I don't know what it is about some men. I have mostly guy friends so this topic comes up a lot. Every time they start to complain about sending money or what the woman is doing with it, I chime in. I think a lot of people have the opinion that the money isn't being used in a way they approve of. I then point out it's not really their place to say. It's their obligation to send it and if that means that the woman has money left over to buy new shoes or go dancing one night, so be it.
It is just that it's often felt that sending it is allowing the woman play money. I've seen it happen like that, yes. But seriously it still annoys the crap outta me when there is excuse after excuse by these men to not be responsible.
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