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Post by glassonion on Oct 13, 2008 9:00:51 GMT -5
Today would have been my 12 year wedding anniversary. Although I have been divorced for two years, have basically started life over again, have two wonderful children, many great friends who stood by me thru the worst of times, and have a warm and loving boyfriend, I still feel a pang of sadness.
I miss being married, but I do not miss him. I miss the companionship. I miss coming home to someone nightly. I miss being held when I sleep at the end of a bad day…..I will admit that this year it is easier to deal with than last year. Yet, I still feel a sort of “void”. I know from my own progress that time heals and all that stuff, but in time, will it all just go away?
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Post by gdgross on Oct 13, 2008 11:10:15 GMT -5
I've had three "anniversaries" without my ex.
The first one sucked. I stayed home, drank alone and tried to read a book.
The second one I had a gig.
The last one I had a rehearsal, and didn't even remember that it would have been my enniversary until about 11pm that night.
I actually have to think about it and do some quick math to know what anniversary the upcoming one would be - it would have been 8 years in July. Hopefully it will completely slip my mind by the time next summer rolls around, though.
I do not miss my ex. Sometimes I miss the person she was when I married her. But that person is long gone. But the loss of innocence is hard. I will never ever again marry my high school sweetheart, never again have been only married to one woman. I'll probably never see a sixty year wedding anniversary. (Maybe fifty if I get crackin' and live a long life though...)
I mostly miss what she represented.
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Post by sheyd on Oct 14, 2008 9:25:16 GMT -5
I don't know that it ever "goes away" - they were dreams that didn't make it. They simply don't hurt as much, and they become more "in the past". I am still aware that I had that dream to become an actress, and wonder what would have happened had I tried (yeah, I know - it would have flopped... lol). I don't stress about it though. I still miss the idea of comfortably growing old with the father of my children, with this shared family and history. But a different road was chosen. It is in the past, a place you can't go back to, and the pain stops and any desire to return stops, and it just becomes a memory - a lost dream - that void. But because you didn't choose that path - whole worlds opened up that you now live in and enjoy, and without which another void would now exist.
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Post by redskyatnight on Oct 14, 2008 14:19:24 GMT -5
nos·tal·gi·a (nŏ-stâl'jə, nə-) Pronunciation Key n. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past. The condition of being homesick; homesickness.
It will pass.
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