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Post by Dave on Feb 8, 2008 12:43:08 GMT -5
why is he a douche? arent there certain standards you prefer? or would it be ok for your so to stop bathing etc, and you would still be attracted to her? if you are going to stop being intimate with your wife over thirty pounds you had no business defrauding her into marriage in the first place. I am by no means against divorce - it has been great to me, but I think your reasons should be semi-reasonable or at least realistic.
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JC
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Post by JC on Feb 8, 2008 12:44:46 GMT -5
did they mention divorce? who are any of us to say what is acceptable for someone elses desires?
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Post by freckles on Feb 8, 2008 12:48:01 GMT -5
The Modern Marrage Change Spouses like You Change Your Clothes I am Old Fason And Proud of It
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Post by Dave on Feb 8, 2008 12:50:31 GMT -5
did they mention divorce? who are any of us to say what is acceptable for someone elses desires? I'm not judging his desires. I am saying that he is being unrealistic. Would you be accepting if his reason was her bad haircut? how about her caesarean scar? I think when we agree to be in a partnership with someone we agree by default that things won't always be the same, but you will stand by one another.
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Post by sheyd on Feb 8, 2008 12:52:16 GMT -5
And although I agree it is better he isn't satisfying his needs elsewhere - there is still a breakdown in the sexual AND communication aspects of their marriage, and he is making her solely responsible for fixing it. That isn't a partnership. What about HER sexual needs?
Shey
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JC
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Post by JC on Feb 8, 2008 12:53:37 GMT -5
The Modern Marrage Change Spouses like You Change Your Clothes I am Old Fason And Proud of It alright big boobers boy.
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JC
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Post by JC on Feb 8, 2008 12:54:26 GMT -5
did they mention divorce? who are any of us to say what is acceptable for someone elses desires? I'm not judging his desires. I am saying that he is being unrealistic. Would you be accepting if his reason was her bad haircut? how about her caesarean scar? I think when we agree to be in a partnership with someone we agree by default that things won't always be the same, but you will stand by one another. i didnt say i was accepting of his reasons.
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Post by freckles on Feb 8, 2008 12:55:11 GMT -5
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Post by cdngurl on Feb 8, 2008 13:08:35 GMT -5
What if the weight gain can't be controlled? Don't we all get a bit heavier over the years? I'm just sensing a huge red flag in their marriage. She still looks good, as I said. Probably a size 14? Maybe even 12. She gains in the right spots.. I half thought of suggesting they use the porn together -- but I think she feels like she will be compared to the porn barbies. His approach was not kind ... how do you fix that??
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Post by Dave on Feb 8, 2008 13:12:38 GMT -5
His approach was not kind ... how do you fix that?? that's my point. does she have any brothers to teach her husband a lesson in "how to communicate in a helpful manner"?
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Post by jules on Feb 8, 2008 13:18:56 GMT -5
Has she told him how she feels? i.e. "I don't want to have sex with you anymore because I feel like you're criticizing my figure"? If he's happier masturbating to porn than having a sexual relationship with his wife, there's a bigger issue there...
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Post by cdngurl on Feb 8, 2008 13:26:35 GMT -5
Has she told him how she feels? i.e. "I don't want to have sex with you anymore because I feel like you're criticizing my figure"? If he's happier masturbating to porn than having a sexual relationship with his wife, there's a bigger issue there... I want to ask her that very question .. but almost feel bad that I don't have much else to suggest for her (that's what I'm hoping to get from you guys .. ) Sadly - i think it there is a bigger issue. They've been together maybe 5 years but just got married this past summer ... and now that they are married, he seems to have a license to treat her kind of badly..
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JC
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Post by JC on Feb 8, 2008 13:28:07 GMT -5
i feel like there is a bigger issue as well. that is what should be explored. she shouldnt focus so much on his comments on her weight.
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Post by Saucy on Feb 8, 2008 13:29:20 GMT -5
UGH. i hate when that happens.
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Post by rocko on Feb 11, 2008 9:31:02 GMT -5
My exh critisised me constanly bc I was 5'8 and 160lbs. I wore a size 10. He did not like to see me naked. He would still have sex with me though. He did tell me that my weight was a problem. IT depressed me and made me eat more. I tried to eat better, but he wouldn't eat better with me and that made things harder.
I was 137lbs when I met my husband now. I am 160 right now, but have been as high as 175. He wants me no matter what. He loves me at 137 and he loves me at 175. He loves ME, not just my looks or my weight. I am sure he prefers my body to be the thinner more"sexy" body (so do I), but he would never reject me for it.
This man disgusts me.
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