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Post by JimB on Oct 30, 2008 14:41:14 GMT -5
I can't believe he'll never kiss me again, sing to me, tell me how I'm the most wonderful woman in the world.... Meh. Guys like that will be a dime a dozen, once the world realizes you really ARE the most wonderful woman in the world.  |
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 30, 2008 15:05:52 GMT -5
I can't believe he'll never kiss me again, sing to me, tell me how I'm the most wonderful woman in the world.... Just remember, if he really felt you were the most woman in the world, he'd have thought of that 1st... Before going off on you unrationally...Before making crazy accusations...Before taking all his stuff and then saying he'd deal with it after...Before trying to not give you what would make you feel comfortable in a talk (or even being willing to really have on for that matter). Maybe he's going through the same thing as you as far as the realizations of some of those good things not going to happen and his impulse is to call you to try and sweet talk you because he thinks it will work. If you know this is right for you, stick to your guns. Stand by what you think and feel and in the long run, you'll feel better about yourself for being ablle to have follow through. |
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Post by redskyatnight on Oct 30, 2008 15:34:43 GMT -5
If he calls again, have one of the guys tell him that you will call him back. That way, you won't be constantly interrupted with his ringing the phone.
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Post by freckles on Oct 30, 2008 15:50:34 GMT -5
He's been calling me all day. At least five or six times. I recognize the number as one of his cousins' or friends' numbers. I never pick up, and he never leaves a message. The reason I don't pick up: I believe that the only reason he is calling is to tell me that there's isn't going to be a talk. I can't pick up and let him tell me that. I have to -- for *myself* -- be able to send that e-mail to him explaining how I feel and why *I* won't be at the talk. This is not about trying to one-up him, or pay him back, or anything like that. I need this for myself. I finally made a difficult decision that I thought was good and healthy for me, and I need to be able to carry it out. I just need that. He just called again, and one of my wonderful co-workers (those two fabulous guys) picked up (we agreed on that) and it was indeed the French guy. He didn't want to leave a message, said he would call back later. I have to keep avoiding the calls until I can compose (tonight or tomorrow) a message that I am happy with, and send it to him. I am so incredibly miserable. I miss him so much. I can't believe he'll never kiss me again, sing to me, tell me how I'm the most wonderful woman in the world.... Maybe he wants to Tell you, that He misses you and made a mistake |
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Post by shattered on Oct 30, 2008 16:22:04 GMT -5
I would give anything if that were the case.
I KNOW it's not.
He is calling to tell me there will be no talk. I know it.
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Post by freckles on Oct 30, 2008 16:37:05 GMT -5
I would give anything if that were the case. I KNOW it's not. He is calling to tell me there will be no talk. I know it. If I was calling to say no talk I would not be calling |
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Oct 30, 2008 16:41:11 GMT -5
Freckles, not everyone is a simple as you are. A lot of people have complicated manipulative motives.
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Post by crushy on Oct 30, 2008 23:09:03 GMT -5
Even before your last post, I was thinking you shouldn't go. If you know it is over, you need to start healing. Seeing him so soon after all this went down, will set you back. Unfortunately, you don't have the luxury of time. Perhaps in a couple of weeks, when all the emotions have settled down, you would be able to talk rationally about it, but right now........emotions are still raw on both sides............ If you find you need closure in the future, there is always the phone or email. I can understand everyone's good advice, but I'm thinking like redsky on this one. I just hope it works out. |
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Post by sheyd on Oct 31, 2008 8:09:37 GMT -5
I would give anything if that were the case. I KNOW it's not. He is calling to tell me there will be no talk. I know it. Wait a minute - you WANT him to tell you he misses you and made a mistake? So what, you can go back to him and let him be sweet for awhile then get irrational again? PLEASE re-read your own posts about why this won't work. The sugar and sweetness is addicting - but there is poison underneath it. Don't swallow the poison again - the sweet isn't worth it! As Jim said, there will be times again when you can have the sweet - with no knife underneath it - as long as you keep showing your true self. You are worth more than the irrationality. You know you can take that leap, now, you know you can survive it, even when it isn't right for you. Now keep yourself open for when it IS right - and keep working on being ok with yourself whether there is a guy there or not - and no matter what he is saying. STAY STRONG!!! (((((((((((HUGS))))))))) |
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Post by redskyatnight on Oct 31, 2008 8:52:58 GMT -5
I would give anything if that were the case. I KNOW it's not. He is calling to tell me there will be no talk. I know it. Wait a minute - you WANT him to tell you he misses you and made a mistake? So what, you can go back to him and let him be sweet for awhile then get irrational again? PLEASE re-read your own posts about why this won't work. The sugar and sweetness is addicting - but there is poison underneath it. Don't swallow the poison again - the sweet isn't worth it! As Jim said, there will be times again when you can have the sweet - with no knife underneath it - as long as you keep showing your true self. You are worth more than the irrationality. You know you can take that leap, now, you know you can survive it, even when it isn't right for you. Now keep yourself open for when it IS right - and keep working on being ok with yourself whether there is a guy there or not - and no matter what he is saying. STAY STRONG!!! (((((((((((HUGS))))))))) Awesome observation Shey! There won't be any room in your life for the right guy as long as the wrong guy is poisioning it. |
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Post by jules on Oct 31, 2008 9:52:06 GMT -5
Wait a minute - you WANT him to tell you he misses you and made a mistake? So what, you can go back to him and let him be sweet for awhile then get irrational again? PLEASE re-read your own posts about why this won't work. The sugar and sweetness is addicting - but there is poison underneath it. Don't swallow the poison again - the sweet isn't worth it!) Oh good Lord, is it addicting... Easier said than done. If someone knows of an antidote for the sweet, pass it along, please? |
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Post by jules on Oct 31, 2008 9:54:34 GMT -5
What did you decide to do, shattered?
Me, I'd want closure. However there is that danger of getting sucked in again... which I actually think a public place would help prevent.
Or you may just decide on your own that you have enough for your own closure. I totally understand being torn.
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Post by sheyd on Oct 31, 2008 10:33:10 GMT -5
The antidote for the sweet is to continually reveal and remember the poison. Write down what it was that made it so bad - re-read it. Talk to friends about how bad it was so they can remind you when you get weak. When you get weak, talk to them - not the person who is poison.
And for me... I stopped reading romance novels a long time ago. They are porn for women - giving an unrealistic idea of what "love" is - especially since the problems are "solved" without communication or it takes forever for communication to happen. Plus, it makes you want the sickly sweet stuff, when real life has its own brand of sweetness that isn't as obvious, but much more nourishing.
Modified to add: romantic movies are bad too - everything always works out, love is all we need, bad for you guys turning out great, people always having "big realizations" which turns them right around... that just isn't how it usually is. I haven't quite broken my addiction to them, though... working on it!
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Post by rocko on Oct 31, 2008 11:23:22 GMT -5
Antifreeze to animals
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 31, 2008 11:32:49 GMT -5
There won't be any room in your life for the right guy as long as the wrong guy is poisioning it. Wow!!! Very powerful words that I will be sure to remember as well. Thank you for that comment because I needed it now as well...  Shattered, hun, that is very, very true. And, while easier said than done, it's something to keep in mind. |
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