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Post by shattered on Nov 10, 2008 13:54:59 GMT -5
I wasn't sure under which heading to start this thread, hope it's OK here. Alright, he's been gone just a week and a day, and already is flaking out on me; saying inconsistent things, slightly contradicting himself, is no longer eager for daily contact with me (eventhough he swore we'd be in contact by phone or e-mail every single day, and just two days ago he told me how great it is that he just bought the new i-Pod i-Touch because now he can e-mail me from anywhere anytime) -- and though he told me yesterday that today he would guaranteed either call me or e-mail, I still haven't heard a peep from him. (It's now 9 pm where he is, and I know from experience that if he hasn't contacted me by now, he doesn't at all.) I am freaking out, and driving myself crazy with why, why, why, why, why don't his actions match his words?  I realized I won't get the answer, and I need to come up with some way -- any way -- to calm myself down. I started chanting to myself: His rejection cannot hurt me, His rejection cannot hurt me, His rejection cannot hurt me.... and I only need myself, I only need myself, I only need myself... I helps minimally, in the sense that as long as I am chanting this to myself, it momentarily makes me hurt slightly less and it has a slight calming effect, if for no other reason than the repetition. Does anyone have any other suggestions along these lines? |
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c
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Post by c on Nov 10, 2008 14:11:21 GMT -5
Get layed. Sorry it's the only pill I can vouche for. The effects get better with long term usage. You may need a long term prescription for about a year. Side affects include a list of shit I can not totally describe, but if you want to ease the pain take that and call us in the morning.
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Post by freckles on Nov 10, 2008 14:20:04 GMT -5
LDR 's are hard sometimes
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Post by shattered on Nov 10, 2008 14:20:13 GMT -5
Get layed. Sorry it's the only pill I can vouche for. The effects get better with long term usage. You may need a long term prescription for about a year. Side affects include a list of shit I can not totally describe, but if you want to ease the pain take that and call us in the morning. Unfeeling, useless comments by hugthat members cannot hurt me; Unfeeling, useless comments by hugthat memberts cannot hurt me.... |
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Post by freckles on Nov 10, 2008 14:25:20 GMT -5
I Care about You
I think you should take it slow, and actions speak louder than words
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Post by JimB on Nov 10, 2008 14:43:49 GMT -5
Same advice as for coping with a breakup: get busy. Do things you love to do, and try things you've always wanted to try. Fill up your life, so it's all the more full without him.
4 reasons why this is great:
1. Distraction. If you're busy, you're not brooding.
2. Focus. If you're focusing on all the positives you have, you tend to worry less about specific positives you don't have.
3. Win-win. Even if this romance doesn't work out, you're creating a more satisfying structure for your life, be it single or otherwise.
4. When you do hear from him, it's a bonus, rather than a matter of life and death.
It's not easy, because creating new habits and breaking old ones is never easy. But it's worth it, no matter what the outcome of this romance.
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Post by shattered on Nov 10, 2008 15:12:44 GMT -5
Same advice as for coping with a breakup: get busy. Do things you love to do, and try things you've always wanted to try. Fill up your life, so it's all the more full without him. 4 reasons why this is great: 1. Distraction. If you're busy, you're not brooding. 2. Focus. If you're focusing on all the positives you have, you tend to worry less about specific positives you don't have. 3. Win-win. Even if this romance doesn't work out, you're creating a more satisfying structure for your life, be it single or otherwise. 4. When you do hear from him, it's a bonus, rather than a matter of life and death. It's not easy, because creating new habits and breaking old ones is never easy. But it's worth it, no matter what the outcome of this romance. Thanks, JimB. |
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Post by freckles on Nov 10, 2008 15:40:51 GMT -5
If He will not Commit to You
Then you should choose someone else
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Post by freckles on Nov 10, 2008 15:41:28 GMT -5
P.S. As him when is he going to Propose ? |
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c
Junior Member
Posts: 52
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Post by c on Nov 10, 2008 15:42:19 GMT -5
Get layed. Sorry it's the only pill I can vouche for. The effects get better with long term usage. You may need a long term prescription for about a year. Side affects include a list of shit I can not totally describe, but if you want to ease the pain take that and call us in the morning. Unfeeling, useless comments by hugthat members cannot hurt me; Unfeeling, useless comments by hugthat memberts cannot hurt me.... Hey.. I'm Sorry. I didn't know your details. I just went with what I read in your post. I thought I read it good and thought you were broken up with this guy. If he's just away and you are dealing with an LDR then my advice was totally out of place. OK. JimB, was spot on and I'll leave it at that. |
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Post by AngelBaby on Nov 10, 2008 17:29:09 GMT -5
Freckles~ I know you mean well, but that question is TOTALLY out of place.  Shattered~ I wish I had some words of wisdom on how to deal with all of this. I will say that JimB's post is about as close as anything I could come up with. It's hard to know which way is up in a situation like this, and I really do wish there was some magic potion or answer, because I would surely hand it over. Know I'm thinking of you, and if you need a shoulder, don't hesitate to ask. AB |
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Post by shattered on Nov 11, 2008 8:24:30 GMT -5
Unfeeling, useless comments by hugthat members cannot hurt me; Unfeeling, useless comments by hugthat memberts cannot hurt me.... Hey.. I'm Sorry. I didn't know your details. I just went with what I read in your post. I thought I read it good and thought you were broken up with this guy. If he's just away and you are dealing with an LDR then my advice was totally out of place. OK. JimB, was spot on and I'll leave it at that. Hey, c, thanks. I appreciate it. No, no, the point is that I really have no idea whether we are broken up, breaking up, or what, and it is driving me crazy. The reason I didn't react well to your "advice" is that I thought you were just making a rather nasty joke. I.e., I thought you were being mean. So, I'm sorry, since that was not your intention. See, casual sex holds no enjoyment for me whatsoever, and when I'm emotionally attached to someone, just the idea of having sex with another person causes me a lot of pain. I feel like if I were capable of going out and having random casual sex and enjoying it, I wouldn't be in this much emotional anguish, and posting about it on this board, to begin with. But I suppose you couldn't necessarily know that, and you are a guy after all, so we're cool.  |
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Post by shattered on Nov 11, 2008 8:29:58 GMT -5
Freckles~ I know you mean well, but that question is TOTALLY out of place. Shattered~ I wish I had some words of wisdom on how to deal with all of this. I will say that JimB's post is about as close as anything I could come up with. It's hard to know which way is up in a situation like this, and I really do wish there was some magic potion or answer, because I would surely hand it over. Know I'm thinking of you, and if you need a shoulder, don't hesitate to ask. AB Thank you, AngelBaby, I really appreciate that. "Hard to know which way is up" -- that is exactly it. It's not like it's clearly over, and maybe he is being sincere, and if so, I'd like to keep giving it a chance. At the same time, I don't want to repeat what I did with my ex -- clinging to the relationship for dear life, even when it's clear that the relationship simply is not working. I thought I learned so much, but right now I just feel utterly confused and helpless. |
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Post by shattered on Nov 11, 2008 8:33:11 GMT -5
Hey.. I'm Sorry. I didn't know your details. I just went with what I read in your post. I thought I read it good and thought you were broken up with this guy. If he's just away and you are dealing with an LDR then my advice was totally out of place. OK. JimB, was spot on and I'll leave it at that. Hey, c, thanks. I appreciate it. No, no, the point is that I really have no idea whether we are broken up, breaking up, or what, and it is driving me crazy. The reason I didn't react well to your "advice" is that I thought you were just making a rather nasty joke. I.e., I thought you were being mean. So, I'm sorry, since that was not your intention. See, casual sex holds no enjoyment for me whatsoever, and when I'm emotionally attached to someone, just the idea of having sex with another person causes me a lot of pain. I feel like if I were capable of going out and having random casual sex and enjoying it, I wouldn't be in this much emotional anguish, and posting about it on this board, to begin with. But I suppose you couldn't necessarily know that, and you are a guy after all, so we're cool. P.S. I"m pretty sure it's "laid" not "layed."  |
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Post by shattered on Nov 11, 2008 8:39:39 GMT -5
P.S. As him when is he going to Propose ? I will never ask him that. Right now, it's just too early. But even when I feel the time is right, I will not ask. I finally asked, after two years with my ex, whether we were going to get engaged, and we did, and it didn't exactly work out well. There are unique circumstances where there are exceptions, but basically the man needs to propose to the woman -- unprompted. Just ask Dr. Laura! |
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