Almost just sent this to him but stopped

[comeawayfromit]

Since my hurt is still pretty fresh and this whole new "never gonna talk again" is newly in effect, I was sitting here at work thinking of the conversation i had with him last night and getting more and more pissed. He wanted to pour salt in my wounds and he had the BALLS to say to me about the woman he cheated on me with "you don't know how serious we are mel. you have no clue." all this crap which I know aint true and was just designed to hurt me. I just started writing him an email saying how i knew he was deliberately pouring salt in my wounds and how it was unnecessary as well as some other petty bs about how i'm sure they are married with kids after only a few months. but i stopped myself before sending cuz i knew if i did send it, i'd wanna rush home later and unsend it (nice that you can do that thru aol). That really PISSED ME OFF that he was acting all concerned and tells me till he's blue in the fact that all he ever thinks of are my feelings and that he's just looking out for me and one day i'll realize it but then he actually has the balls to elude to the fact that they are serious and all this shit. I'm getting angrier just writing this! GRRRR

[crushy]

I know it's hard, comeawayfromit (love the user name), but eventually, you'll realize his actions don't/won't make sense because he's a cheater (without a conscience).

I know the first while is really hard, but hang around here and we'll help you through it.

I had no idea you could retract e-mails from AOL now...thanks!

Crushy

[comeawayfromit]

See Crushy, that's the problem. He isn't a cheater without a conscience. The reason he gave for breaking up with me was that he'd started talking to this chick and wanted to continue talking to her but couldn't do it in good faith while I was around. Then, the reason he is so messed up now is cuz he cheated on her with me (which isn't unprecedented. The way we got together way back when was I cheated on my boyfriend with him and he cheated on his girlfriend with me--we were young) so of course he's feeling remorse about it. All it tells me is that I have his heart. Everyone is so consumed with moving on, but I am not upholding my life for him. My heart is with him and I don't think it's going to be fair to try with someone else when I feel this way. I know it sounds crazy but everyone here knows that there are things in a relationship that nobody else could ever know. And yes you can retract thru aol. It's a very nice feature.