trip
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by trip on Nov 13, 2008 15:45:50 GMT -5
The past week or so the ex has been coming into my office building for assistance. See previous post.
So today she comes back down with a friend and commences to stand next to me and try to start up conversation! I didnt even look or acknowledge her pressence. This woman was almost the end of me. She filed an unwarranted retraining order on me, etc. she just had a baby and got married. I just got married. I havent spoken to her in 2 years. Why now? I cant stand to even look at her. Why is she forcing this rihght now? Does she think I can jsut forgive and forget?
I'm sorry, but the whole incident pissed me the f off.
Sound off.
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Post by rocko on Nov 13, 2008 15:51:47 GMT -5
Do you have a phone on your desk? Pick it up act like you are on the phone and do shushing noises at them when they talk. They will get the point.
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trip
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by trip on Nov 13, 2008 15:55:32 GMT -5
I was really close to just telling her to get the hell out of my office but that would give her something to talk about. Apparently, she is in constant discussion with current happenings in my life with her co-workers. I dont care that she talks or asks about me, but I dont want to interact with her. I'm moving offices next week to a place with less public access. I'm hoping that will solve that problem. I just got a huge raise so I dont want to look for a different job at the moment.
It is sad that some peoples lives are so petty that they have to live through drama.
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Post by crushy on Nov 13, 2008 16:05:01 GMT -5
Do you have a phone on your desk? Pick it up act like you are on the phone and do shushing noises at them when they talk. They will get the point. I like Rocko's approach. I mean, it doesn't give her something to talk about and still creates distance. When I have someone in my office too long, I've learned to stand up and say, 'Let's talk on the way to the ladies room'. It works. She's obviously regretting the decisions that brought her to where she is now, but Trip, you've got to stay focused on where you are now. I know you have so far and I'm proud of ya, just don't let the past seep in through the cracks. Like it or not, she has a lot of your past and what made you the man you are now. I'm glad to see you are going to rise above the control she may be imposing on you and keeping distance. I suggest having something in mind, ready, in case she crosses the line. If she were to ask you back or if you are really happy (most likely), are you prepared with an answer? Knowing what I know about you and the situation, I think you need to have a plan of attack. Good luck... |
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Post by hoodieprincess on Nov 13, 2008 16:48:25 GMT -5
Do you have a phone on your desk? Pick it up act like you are on the phone and do shushing noises at them when they talk. They will get the point. I like Rocko's idea. The other thing you can do (as I've used it when someone used to do something similar) is as soon as they stop there and start talking, I just got up and walked away. I went to make copies, get water, get coffee, use the restroom...It just worked that I wasn't there and after a while, they just stoped because they realized I wasn't sitting there oogling over them or even paying the slightest attention to the conversation. It got the point across I wanted nothing to do with him without me having to say a word. Either way, I still see the frustration of the situation you're in. Keep in mind how far you've come and her doing this is about her problems, not yours. |
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Post by sheyd on Nov 13, 2008 16:50:17 GMT -5
When I have someone in my office too long, I've learned to stand up and say, 'Let's talk on the way to the ladies room'. It works. OMG - I LOVE this. Trip, moving is a great idea, but when she does come around, maybe just ask what she needs and wait for her response. Be blunt, but polite. |
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Post by freckles on Nov 13, 2008 16:59:41 GMT -5
I dont know what Dr Laura would say
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trip
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by trip on Nov 14, 2008 9:10:57 GMT -5
Do you have a phone on your desk? Pick it up act like you are on the phone and do shushing noises at them when they talk. They will get the point. I like Rocko's approach. I mean, it doesn't give her something to talk about and still creates distance. When I have someone in my office too long, I've learned to stand up and say, 'Let's talk on the way to the ladies room'. It works. She's obviously regretting the decisions that brought her to where she is now, but Trip, you've got to stay focused on where you are now. I know you have so far and I'm proud of ya, just don't let the past seep in through the cracks. Like it or not, she has a lot of your past and what made you the man you are now. I'm glad to see you are going to rise above the control she may be imposing on you and keeping distance. I suggest having something in mind, ready, in case she crosses the line. If she were to ask you back or if you are really happy (most likely), are you prepared with an answer? Knowing what I know about you and the situation, I think you need to have a plan of attack. Good luck... I dont know if she would have the guts to come straight out and ask me something. I would hope not. but as far as having an answer readuy goes, I was just thinking about that on the way into work this morning. If she apologizes or whatever, I will probably thank her for doing what she did. I learned from it and if it were not for the timing and circumstances that the situation created, I may not have ever met the love of my life. My wife. Thats how I feel anyway. It just is hard to say "Thank You" to someone like that! lol I think the most disturbing part of it is that I find myself thinking about it, trying to figure out why. I guess that is natural after what she did? I have definately moved on, but maybe I am looking for reassurance that she now realizes I am not that person she accused me to be? |
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trip
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by trip on Nov 14, 2008 9:13:41 GMT -5
Do you have a phone on your desk? Pick it up act like you are on the phone and do shushing noises at them when they talk. They will get the point. I like Rocko's idea. The other thing you can do (as I've used it when someone used to do something similar) is as soon as they stop there and start talking, I just got up and walked away. I went to make copies, get water, get coffee, use the restroom...It just worked that I wasn't there and after a while, they just stoped because they realized I wasn't sitting there oogling over them or even paying the slightest attention to the conversation. It got the point across I wanted nothing to do with him without me having to say a word. Either way, I still see the frustration of the situation you're in. Keep in mind how far you've come and her doing this is about her problems, not yours. Yeah, I didnt even look at her. I act professional and keep it at that. I dont even want to tell her what I think of her until she pushes the envelope. And then I want to go off! lol I wont though. No big deal, as my wife told me "this is her problem not ours. Just blow it off. " |
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Post by rocko on Nov 14, 2008 9:18:41 GMT -5
It sure would be fun though to stand up and shake her hand and say
Thank you for letting me go. I never realized how miserable I was and how happy I could be!
That would just be too much fun!!
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Post by Phyxius on Nov 14, 2008 13:39:44 GMT -5
Do you have a phone on your desk? Pick it up act like you are on the phone and do shushing noises at them when they talk. They will get the point. Or just start picking your nose whenever she's in line of sight...  |
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Post by crushy on Nov 15, 2008 19:11:23 GMT -5
Do you have a phone on your desk? Pick it up act like you are on the phone and do shushing noises at them when they talk. They will get the point. Or just start picking your nose whenever she's in line of sight... Yep, that would do it for me. Grea one, Phix. Does this work on really dense co-workers?  |
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Post by wizer on Nov 20, 2008 0:43:32 GMT -5
How about "I have nothing to say to you, and I have no interest in anything you might have to say to me..so why dont you save us both some time and turn around and walk right back through that door?"
Honesty is the best policy.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Nov 21, 2008 11:58:17 GMT -5
How about "I have nothing to say to you, and I have no interest in anything you might have to say to me..so why dont you save us both some time and turn around and walk right back through that door?" Honesty is the best policy. Love it! |
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trip
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by trip on Nov 21, 2008 12:51:15 GMT -5
Funny that this post got replied to today. Someone just told me that she and her husband own a small pizza shop in her small town now. I guess her husband writes and reads cards every Friday to his customers and is hoping to sell one to Hallmark one day. Wasnt a similar idea in a movie once???  |
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