it was actually saturday before i got to go home, but that was only because ot/pt took thursday off and didn't work with me at all that day. i wasn't comfortable coming home to the steps to get into the house without some more work, so i basically opted to stay until saturday.
the pain has been u.f.b. although all in all it is getting better. tuesday night and wednesday day i really just wanted to die (seriously). i had the nurse from hell tuesday night and that just set things off. but once i started getting up and moving more (wednesday) things started to get better. the majority of the care that i got was good.
the food was ok. not as good as the hospital here in town where i wanted to be, but it was ok. thanksgiving dinner was blah, but i've had worse.......lol and it's the only time that it'll ever be served to me in bed.
on the way home we stopped at walmart to get my hair done - it was grotesquely greasy and i knew that i wouldn't be able to wash it myself, so it's now cut even shorter than the last time to make life slightly easier.
i have a tub bench, a riser on my toilet, and a hospital bed along with my walker and various other devices. getting a "bath" yesterday took well over an hour and required a long nap afterwards. my hands hurt from the walker so that makes it even harder to walk. my sleep is all out of whack (hence the 3am posting) but it's getting better.
the home health nurse came out yesterday and the official size of the incision is 18cm, so just a little over 7". i believe that my husband counted 36 staples. they'll come out in about another week, but home health can do that so at least i don't have to go to wichita for that crap. (i do have a picture of the incision if anyone's interested).
oh and the official cause of all the pain - when the surgeon got in there, he found that my hip had never fully developed. instead of the socket fitting over the ball like it should have, it was a bit cockeyed and lifted up - causing too much room between the two, allowing the arthritis to develop and allowing more space for the ball to move around, causing the damage to the labrum. so apparently the replacement was now OFFICIALLY needed, rather than being a last-ditch effort to get rid of the pain. oh, and i also have extremely small bones.........
i'm glad that it's done and over with, but i'm having some emotional struggles with it - i've always been the caregiver, and it's extremely difficult for me to be the one needing care. i will admit that i am horribly depressed right now and yes, i know that it's temporary, but it's still very hard to deal with. anyone who knew me in my past life would probably understand, as i used to be the one coordinating the care for people who needed it (home health, transportation, nursing, etc) and so to be on the receiving end has been very hard.
p.t. is coming to my house today, along with a second nursing visit. i will be officially on my own today, as jeff has to go back to work. i am not allowed to drive (which sucks) and i think that he is going to take the van to work to further ground me and to make sure that i don't try to escape. i will have the boys with me, so it's going to be a challenge but i need to start getting back to normal somehow. and i think that the chaos of having them around is part of what i need to start to feel better.
so, that's that at this point. i'll try to update as i can but it's really hard to sit in here by the computer.
had a minor setback over the last 2 days. my husband and i both got hit with a hella virus and i spent both days in bed or on the toilet. but i'm feeling better today, and he want back to work, so i'm on my own again.
pt just left and she thinks i'm doing ok. probably about as to be expected. she's trying to figure out a good lift for my shoe because now my left leg is longer than my right leg so i'm crooked......lol but i'm getting better at my exercises and can even take a few steps without the walker - but i'm too wobbly to do more than a few.
today i've just been puttering around the house, trying to do little things here and there to make me feel a little more useful. i'm just itching to either get out and do something, or to figure out a way to get my sewing machine out and start making some money.
i'm just itching to either get out and do something, or to figure out a way to get my sewing machine out and start making some money.
When you figure out how to make money with a sewing machine, share it with the rest of us. That would be better than winning the lottery! ;D
well, i didn't say make LOTS of money, just make SOME money! i do make a little bit of money with it, but i don't have the time to do the stuff full time that i'd like to do. hopefully once things start to calm down around here i can do more.
right now i'm just hoping that the pt remembers to bring more bandages with her when she comes out today.......and i'm hoping that the boys don't puke anymore because i can't get upstairs to get them clean clothes.
Post by hoodieprincess on Dec 5, 2008 11:15:05 GMT -5
Just wanted to say I am so proud of you! You sound like you are really doing everything you can to get back to normal (or as normal as you can be LOL). You are such a strong person and you're always a fighter. I can understand your struggles right now as you are indeed used to being the one taking care of everyone else. It's hard not to get depressed. Just remind yourself that you should savor it because you may never get to be the one getting so much care and attention ever again! (Yes, if there wasn't so much damn pain to go along with it, I know. )
Take care hun and congrats again on being such a fighter!
You can't stop the sunrise and you can't stop the sunset. What's meant to be will eventually just be.
thanks girl! i think i'm over my initial pity party for myself (i can partially blame that on pms though too) and now i can see that i'm getting stronger - there was only one exercise last night that i couldn't do by myself, whereas a few days ago there were 3 or 4, so i'm definitely getting there.
now it's more of a i-feel-better-so-i-want-to-do-more-than-what-i-can-physically-do thing. i am so sick and tired of being on the first floor of my house and only stepping onto the front porch a few times to smoke. i want to go OUT. i just want to go somewhere, anywhere, i don't care.
my husband did leave the van today, but only because daniel was looking like he might have had to make an emergency clinic run, but he seems ok now so i don't think that i can justify going anywhere. and i know that's it's colder than crap out there but i don't care. i just want OUT.
and if i can't get out, i want to sew.
i am going to figure out a way to sit up and do it today, even if it kills me.