Post by lostincali on Dec 7, 2008 19:08:56 GMT -5
I honestly never thought I would be back here. I guess its been at least 10 months since I posted on here. I had finally gotten to a point in my life where I was happy and really did care about what my ex was doing.
Some of you might not know me. I will give a quick rundown of my past. In June of 2007, my wife came home late one night. Our kids were already in bed. She told me that she liked women. I kicked her out that very same night. We went to court and both got 50/50 custody of our twin girls. She kept stringing me along for a while, telling me that she wanted to date and give us another chance, but nothing ever came from it except me being disappointed even further. She finally settled into a relationship with another woman. I remember telling her that she would ultimately screw over that other woman as well.
In February of 2008, my ex started messaging me. Telling me how badly she missed me and how we should give us another chance. I was very apprehensive about it. Her relationship with the other woman was on the rocks and I felt that she was just lonely. Within about a week, she got back together with the woman and told me that all she could offer me was friendship. I basically told her to go screw herself and that she hadn't changed at all.
In early November of 2008, she had finally ended it with the woman and was all alone, sad and lonely. One night while exchanging the kids, being a nice guy, I asked if wanted to meet me and the kids at a restaurant for a drink before we exchanged the kids. She of course said yes and we were starting to get along. We began talking about getting back together. I would go over to her place and do a lot of the stuff that a husband would do. One night, she was in real bad shape, crying and not wanting to be alone. She asked me to come over. I laid down in the bed with her and held her as she cried. Telling me how sorry she was about everything she did to me and how I was the only person that she wants to be with. Nothing happened between us that night. She begged me to stay, but I told her that we had to go extremely slow because a lot had happened in the past and I would have to be able to trust her first. The month of November went by with me stopping by her place from time to time. To me it felt like we were falling in love all over again. We would always hug and kiss. We were planning on going out on a date pretty soon.
A couple of days ago, she stopped calling and returning my messages. I would try to call, but she would never answer. Treating my like an absolute nobody all over again. If I was able to talk to her, her answers to my questions seemed very deceptive. I was finally able to get some sort of answer from her. She was dating another guy and now she was unsure about her and I. She said I was going too slow. That she had given me one month and she felt that she had gotten nothing from me. I told her I was doing what I could considering how she had treated me in the past. She basically said she found someone that likes her, unlike me. I have tried to reason with her that one month was not long enough for us to have gotten past the deception and lies from the past, but I felt like we had been moving in the right direction. Not good enough for her. She will not answer my phone calls nor return any of my messages.
I was sitting at my desk at work Friday, talking to my boss. She could tell I was upset about something, so we went out to lunch to talk about it. I told her the whole story, much of it she already knew anyway, but I felt she summed it up really good. She grabbed my hand and said the following, "You are too good of a dad and too good of a man to put up with this or deserve this." It dawned on me that she is right. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but she is right.
So at this moment, my ex will not even speak to me or acknowledge me, simply because I was going too slow for her. I finally called her and left a message telling her that she had screwed me over for the third time. First time with a girl named Amy. That is who she left me for in the beginning. Second time when she left me hanging after she got back together with the other woman. Finally, the third time, because I was going too slow and she chose some guy she barely knows over me.
At this point I am just totally lost. Throughout all of this, I feel I have never done anything wrong. I have a mixture of anger and hurt. Part of the anger is directed at me for being dumb enough to let it happen yet again.
Sorry so long, just a lot on my mind as I sit here all alone.
Some of you might not know me. I will give a quick rundown of my past. In June of 2007, my wife came home late one night. Our kids were already in bed. She told me that she liked women. I kicked her out that very same night. We went to court and both got 50/50 custody of our twin girls. She kept stringing me along for a while, telling me that she wanted to date and give us another chance, but nothing ever came from it except me being disappointed even further. She finally settled into a relationship with another woman. I remember telling her that she would ultimately screw over that other woman as well.
In February of 2008, my ex started messaging me. Telling me how badly she missed me and how we should give us another chance. I was very apprehensive about it. Her relationship with the other woman was on the rocks and I felt that she was just lonely. Within about a week, she got back together with the woman and told me that all she could offer me was friendship. I basically told her to go screw herself and that she hadn't changed at all.
In early November of 2008, she had finally ended it with the woman and was all alone, sad and lonely. One night while exchanging the kids, being a nice guy, I asked if wanted to meet me and the kids at a restaurant for a drink before we exchanged the kids. She of course said yes and we were starting to get along. We began talking about getting back together. I would go over to her place and do a lot of the stuff that a husband would do. One night, she was in real bad shape, crying and not wanting to be alone. She asked me to come over. I laid down in the bed with her and held her as she cried. Telling me how sorry she was about everything she did to me and how I was the only person that she wants to be with. Nothing happened between us that night. She begged me to stay, but I told her that we had to go extremely slow because a lot had happened in the past and I would have to be able to trust her first. The month of November went by with me stopping by her place from time to time. To me it felt like we were falling in love all over again. We would always hug and kiss. We were planning on going out on a date pretty soon.
A couple of days ago, she stopped calling and returning my messages. I would try to call, but she would never answer. Treating my like an absolute nobody all over again. If I was able to talk to her, her answers to my questions seemed very deceptive. I was finally able to get some sort of answer from her. She was dating another guy and now she was unsure about her and I. She said I was going too slow. That she had given me one month and she felt that she had gotten nothing from me. I told her I was doing what I could considering how she had treated me in the past. She basically said she found someone that likes her, unlike me. I have tried to reason with her that one month was not long enough for us to have gotten past the deception and lies from the past, but I felt like we had been moving in the right direction. Not good enough for her. She will not answer my phone calls nor return any of my messages.
I was sitting at my desk at work Friday, talking to my boss. She could tell I was upset about something, so we went out to lunch to talk about it. I told her the whole story, much of it she already knew anyway, but I felt she summed it up really good. She grabbed my hand and said the following, "You are too good of a dad and too good of a man to put up with this or deserve this." It dawned on me that she is right. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but she is right.
So at this moment, my ex will not even speak to me or acknowledge me, simply because I was going too slow for her. I finally called her and left a message telling her that she had screwed me over for the third time. First time with a girl named Amy. That is who she left me for in the beginning. Second time when she left me hanging after she got back together with the other woman. Finally, the third time, because I was going too slow and she chose some guy she barely knows over me.
At this point I am just totally lost. Throughout all of this, I feel I have never done anything wrong. I have a mixture of anger and hurt. Part of the anger is directed at me for being dumb enough to let it happen yet again.
Sorry so long, just a lot on my mind as I sit here all alone.