Make a list of all the bad shit and read it when you are feeling the urge to contact her. It will help you recall it when you are feeling weak and forgeting it.
That is exactly what i did very late last night. It seems to put a whole new perspective on the situation. I would recommend that to anyone going through something similar!
Any time I got the urge to contact her today, I would pull out the list. Believe me, the list is massive. It relieved my urge right away.
The last time I contacted her was about 10 PM last night. It was just a simple text message telling her that I do not want to talk to her at all anymore because I am not gonna let her do this to me any further. Of course, she did not reply, but I honestly wasn't asking for one. If I can make it through today, it will be one day down. The beginning of a new streak!
Last Edit: Dec 9, 2008 21:20:05 GMT -5 by lostincali
i am so glad that you listened to rocko -- she is right on the money. i am sorry that you are going through this again but as much as it hurts realize that there is some good in it too.
you are willing to see the good in people and even tho it makes things tough at times...you feel and that is a wonderful gift.
if YOUR ex is anything like mine. they will continue to pop into your life... hell, i am 3 years out and live thousands of miles away and he still drops out of the sky. for whatever twisted reason...they know when you are doing well and things are good and pop back in to try and destroy it.
you decide how you wish to react and once you have control over that... they cannot bother you anymore. you have realized that she is a toxic in your life and now, you know what to do.
Post by lostincali on Dec 10, 2008 17:42:53 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm doing much better.
As always, I have been doing more thinking. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that had I went faster like she wanted, all of this would have happened anyway. She would have found a reason to complain about what I did, no matter the speed. She would have begun dating this other guy anyway. I absolutely know this. I know her too well.
Every once in a while, I wonder what would have happened had I moved faster. Just jumped in head first. She still would have done the very same thing anyway. Sometimes, you just can't win.
Post by lostincali on Dec 10, 2008 22:01:56 GMT -5
I was doing real good. Until I picked up my girls from the babysitter today. Apparently they had been talking to the babysitter about their mom's new friend that stays the night. The babysitter said she felt so sorry for me because I am too good for her and she knows it hurts me. I don't really know what to say. It was less than a week ago that we were trying to get back together. Now in a span of a week, he is already staying the night? I am pretty sure than means that she did indeed lie to me about the time she met him. It had to be more than 2 weeks ago.
I am so sick of the endless parade of new people that she goes through. The parade won't end anytime soon either. After this dude, it will be somebody else. Man or woman. Tired of my twins having to go through it as well.
I am looking at my list of reasons, but they aren't helping right now.
Last Edit: Dec 10, 2008 22:38:46 GMT -5 by lostincali
Post by Mod (PQ-Kermie) on Dec 10, 2008 22:51:06 GMT -5
One day the fire truck with santa passes by.. the crowds start to filter out and you walk away with your children hand in hand. The parade ends and all you hear is the faint drumbeat of the last band. You just have to be strong enough to sit there and stomach the floats going by... knowing that with time it all heads down the street.
Where are you standing after it goes by is the question.
Post by lostincali on Dec 14, 2008 12:21:09 GMT -5
I am doing much better! I have had no contact with her for a few days and it feels great. Even though I am sure that is what she wants, I am just worried about what I want and need. At this point I just need to zero contact.
I only really have to see her every other Sunday. That is the day we meet to exchange the twins. Today is the day. It worries me. I will just act the way I have been acting for the better part of a year. I will not look at her, will not talk to her even if she talks to me. It will be like she isn't even there.
Post by lostincali on Dec 14, 2008 22:30:30 GMT -5
I did exactly what I said I would do. Didn't say a word to her. She said a few words to me when I first got there, but I didn't look at her. I just pretended like she wasn't there. I helped put the kids in the car seats and kissed them goodbye. I told them bye. She said bye. I just shut the door and walked away.
I think we've all wondered why we gvie people 2nd chances who clearly don't deserve them, or why we'd still want someone who is horribly wrong for us & towards us. I can sympathise with you on that!
The good thing is you know you've tried everything, yet she has once again proven that she is not deserving of this chance. I hope you have been able to refrain from contacting her and are concentrating on yourself instead. She is not worth any more of your time. You shouldn't waste any more energy or stress on this person, no matter what the past was. Look forward, not backwards.
It sounds like you are a wonderful person who would is far more deserving of a kind partner who will support you and be loving towards you. Good luck