Post by kittenhart on Dec 18, 2008 21:18:03 GMT -5
I have been finding that lately during holiday parties, and gatherings that involve alot of old friends that I have been hit by a very "surreal" time-warp kind of feeling...like I've gone back in time or something. Is this just denial? Is it because noone talks about my ex, or the fact that I'm now divorced, and everyone just acts like i never even knew him, like he was never even part of these types of gatherings?
It's not really making me sad...it just feels bizarre...and not very authentic or honest. But I guess maybe it is just something to get used to. Anyone else notice this?
~ For us there is only the trying. The rest is not our business. ~
My family gets on my nerves talking about the ex. The kids looks like him and make faces and things he would make and they feel the need to point it out. They dont' do it with my husband around, but it gets on my nerves. I want that part of my life forgotten. The kids are here and now and those are their little faces, not his.
Yes, I guess it can be surreal. You spent a good portion of your life with that person...but now, you are reclaiming it for yourself.
For the first time, you are focusing on YOU and what you want in life. It has always been projected on us that it is selfish to do so but in reality...I really think it is the most unselfish thing you can do.
I am really looking forward to this Christmas. Yes, I am dangerously optimistic. Life is good. Really good. Looking very forward to 2009 and all that it encompasses.
[quoting Walt Whitman] "To drive free, to love free, to court destruction with taunts, to feed the remainder of life with one hour of fullness and freedom - one brief hour of madness and joy."