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Post by jules on Feb 2, 2009 12:05:29 GMT -5
Just some rambling thoughts in an attempt to evaluate my mindset -- forgive my indulgence. A couple of you know that I lost my job this month. Downsizing... same old story as across the nation (and much of the world.) In a way I was relieved because it had been such a toxic environment for the last several months. However, I'm also sad, and I realized that a big part of my sadness is because my career has been such a major part of my identity for the last decade -- just as my marriage had been. Ironically, I had started dating my ex 3 months before I started with my (former) company, so the development in both my professional life and my relationship were so parallel, that the memories/experiences were quite entwined in many ways, crazy as that sounds. It was kind of funny that I found remembrances of my relationship with my ex while cleaning out my office on Friday. It felt good to throw it all away. So now I'm free in two major ways, and it's exhilarating while admittedly a little scary. I have no idea what will happen next. For the first time in my life I have absolutely no plan. At the same time I'm tentatively dipping my toes into a new potential relationship type of thing (no way to label it at this point, in my opinion) and learning not only what it is I need and want in this area, but also how to express it. More importantly, I'm learning that all I can control is my own actions, not the other person's, and to be ok with uncertainty and just letting things take their course without worrying about a resolution or an outcome. This is HUGE for me because it signifies letting go of my natural impulse to always be in control of every situation, which is really quite immature, I've decided. So, right now I'm not so worried about "will this work out or won't it" as much as what I'm gaining from the experience as a person (though I am certainly enjoying the fun stuff -- don't get me wrong! ) I'm also making a concerted effort to be even more social, especially when going out with groups where I most likely do not know everyone who will be there. Just about every week I'm meeting some nice people, and it's giving me confidence that there is a whole world out there full of good things I've yet to experience. Now I just need to find a damn job...
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Post by RO on Feb 2, 2009 13:41:43 GMT -5
Just my 3 cents --
I think you are doing great. You recognize that it is both exhilarating and a wee bit scary. You see that both your job and your relationship with exh/marriage paralleled each other.
You are not hiding from life and are still getting out there and meeting new people...
I am pulling for you and the offer in the Midwest still stands.
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Post by freckles on Feb 2, 2009 14:21:18 GMT -5
Just some rambling thoughts in an attempt to evaluate my mindset -- forgive my indulgence. A couple of you know that I lost my job this month. Downsizing... same old story as across the nation (and much of the world.) In a way I was relieved because it had been such a toxic environment for the last several months. However, I'm also sad, and I realized that a big part of my sadness is because my career has been such a major part of my identity for the last decade -- just as my marriage had been. Ironically, I had started dating my ex 3 months before I started with my (former) company, so the development in both my professional life and my relationship were so parallel, that the memories/experiences were quite entwined in many ways, crazy as that sounds. It was kind of funny that I found remembrances of my relationship with my ex while cleaning out my office on Friday. It felt good to throw it all away. So now I'm free in two major ways, and it's exhilarating while admittedly a little scary. I have no idea what will happen next. For the first time in my life I have absolutely no plan. At the same time I'm tentatively dipping my toes into a new potential relationship type of thing (no way to label it at this point, in my opinion) and learning not only what it is I need and want in this area, but also how to express it. More importantly, I'm learning that all I can control is my own actions, not the other person's, and to be ok with uncertainty and just letting things take their course without worrying about a resolution or an outcome. This is HUGE for me because it signifies letting go of my natural impulse to always be in control of every situation, which is really quite immature, I've decided. So, right now I'm not so worried about "will this work out or won't it" as much as what I'm gaining from the experience as a person (though I am certainly enjoying the fun stuff -- don't get me wrong! ) I'm also making a concerted effort to be even more social, especially when going out with groups where I most likely do not know everyone who will be there. Just about every week I'm meeting some nice people, and it's giving me confidence that there is a whole world out there full of good things I've yet to experience. Now I just need to find a damn job... What kind of Job are you looking for?
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Post by jules on Feb 3, 2009 12:21:23 GMT -5
I was in book publishing -- export sales -- but the industry is a dying breed. I don't see it recovering for at least another 5 years, and even if/when it does, it will never be the same. So at this point, I'm not quite sure which direction to take, career-wise. I'd like to do something which utilizes my writing skills and my people skills. But when I actually put that into words it sounds so incredibly lame... I guess I'm feeling a little less positive and confident today.
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Post by redskyatnight on Feb 3, 2009 13:13:52 GMT -5
Journalism, but I don't know what the market is like.
Your situation is tough and not one I would like to face. I applaud your Optimism, even if you aren't feeling is so much today.
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Post by finding on Feb 3, 2009 13:47:36 GMT -5
RO is right on the money.
I've learned over the last couple of years that change and a new plan, even if starting out you don't have a plan aren't always a bad thing.
Try to think of it as an adventure. Life never seems to go according to what we plan. Half the fun can be in exploring new options that you would have never gone after if things hadn't changed.
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Post by freckles on Feb 3, 2009 15:14:56 GMT -5
I was in book publishing -- export sales -- but the industry is a dying breed. I don't see it recovering for at least another 5 years, and even if/when it does, it will never be the same. So at this point, I'm not quite sure which direction to take, career-wise. I'd like to do something which utilizes my writing skills and my people skills. But when I actually put that into words it sounds so incredibly lame... I guess I'm feeling a little less positive and confident today. The Industry that is Hiring Is Semi-Truck Driver They cant get enough people to drive those Trucks. You could do something like I do I teach Defensive Driving There are also MIP Minor in Possesion - of Alcohol And Hot Check Classes Anger Classes Marrage Classes Family Classes Alcohol Classes Drug Classes Divorce Classes Tobbaco Classes - for Teens cought Smoking etc etc These are Court Ordered Classes So they HAVE to do them How do you find out what is out there in YOUR State ? Call the Court House and Google
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Post by freckles on Feb 3, 2009 15:20:10 GMT -5
P.S. You can Also be a Personal Trainer Aerobics Exercise Stuff like that Or Teach 20 to 50 people how to Paint a Picture in Oil /Watercolor How to Cook, How to *Lots of Stuff
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Post by freckles on Feb 4, 2009 11:13:23 GMT -5
P.S. 2 I forgot to say: You dont have to go out and Rent/Buy a Building and pay Utilities(Water/Gas/etc) lots of Restraunts have Confrence Rooms They are free to Use / The Food bought pays for the room Example the Tobbaco Class for Underage Smokers that got a Ticket from the Police for doing that You get (As a Example) $75.00 Per Teen $10.00 of that Pays the Food/Room rent P.S. The Best one to do(I think) is the MIP Minor in Possesion (Alcohol/Drugs) Your Classes would allways be full I would do that, but my Sister says I am to Angery about Alcohol (So I have not done that one) I allso started to do the Tobbaco one once a month I might think about it some more Oh and in my State, they are making People take a Marrage Class before they get Married I bet i could give some Marginal Marrage Advice to new Couples before they get Married At $50.00 each once or twice a month Just some Ideas for People who need ideas on Income I am on YouTube
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Post by jules on Feb 4, 2009 12:09:51 GMT -5
redsky, newspapers are dying too, unfortunately. I have a friend who is a well-respected sports writer who is desperately trying to get out of the business since he sees the writing on the wall, and he has a family to support.
finding, thanks for your post. I agree with you 100%. I'm looking at it as an adventure. (It seems like I'm having a lot of those these days, which is kind of exhilarating, while a little scary, I'll admit. I'm also glad to see (read) that you're feeling a bit more "settled" these days.
ro, thanks for the offer. Who knows? At this point the world is my oyster, right?
freckles, I'm not a certified social worker or therapist, and I sincerely hope that the state of Connecticut would require a professional with the correct training and background to adminster those classes you mention -- not just someone off the street -- otherwise, they are useless, imo.
I'm thinking of looking into the possibility of grant writing. If anyone has any advice regarding that field, it would be much appreciated. (I figure with a Democratic president and congress, there will be more grants to go around in the coming years, plus it's a skill that is transferable to a variety of institutions and places, especially those related to health care and elder care in the near future.)
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Post by freckles on Feb 4, 2009 13:29:17 GMT -5
freckles, I'm not a certified social worker or therapist, and I sincerely hope that the state of Connecticut would require a professional with the correct training and background to adminster those classes you mention -- not just someone off the street -- otherwise, they are useless, imo. You have to go through Training for any of those (It took me about 3 months for all that) Plus the Fees etc And do all of that paperwork stuff There are Rules etc
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Post by freckles on Feb 4, 2009 13:37:01 GMT -5
I'm thinking of looking into the possibility of grant writing. If anyone has any advice regarding that field, it would be much appreciated. (I figure with a Democratic president and congress, there will be more grants to go around in the coming years, plus it's a skill that is transferable to a variety of institutions and places, especially those related to health care and elder care in the near future.) You could work for the Chamber of Commerce in your Town They were looking for someone to seek Grants etc for the City at the Chamber of Commerce in my Town, one time
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Post by ionysis on Feb 12, 2009 1:51:56 GMT -5
Hope things are going well Jules. Starting over is pretty scary but you seem to be approaching things with a great attitude. Just wondered if the job hunt had got anywhere or if you were still looking. Give us an update!
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Post by jules on Feb 12, 2009 17:06:19 GMT -5
Thanks, Ionysis (and everyone). I haven't started actively persuing employers/leads yet -- just taking some down time to do some research and brush up on my career transition skills. I've signed up for a two day seminar at the end of the month. Meanwhile I'm enjoying the lack of stress, and have even signed up for an art class that I'm looking forward to taking (something I've wanted to get back into for a while, but have never had the time to do so.)
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Post by gdgross on Feb 12, 2009 17:35:50 GMT -5
Good luck, jules.
I haven't had to look for a job since after college; I imagine it would be pretty stressful.
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