Post by blu on Feb 19, 2009 2:41:41 GMT -5
Hi all. It has been a while since I spent much time on the boards, but I do check on and read and keep up with many. I joined OJAR three years ago January and always feel the pull back to the familiar support this time of year
For the most part life is going really well. I am still hanging on to the house and work is crazy but very stable. I still have the occasional custody type spat with the ex, but for the most part enjoy an amenable schedule and we are very civil to each other. I now know divorce was the only way to survive his mental illness for all of us. He remarried in November and the girls and even myself actually like her, but am sure she does not know the whole story.
The girls are doing well and we marked the passing of their older sister's death quietly this year and with more healed scars.
After some painful and hysterical starts at dating again, I have been dating a very nice man for 10 months and think we are doing pretty well. I still struggle many days with fear and a lack of trust, but he is kind and patient with me. He is still in recovery from his own divorce last year and I always tell him if it were not for all of you - mine would have been much worse.
I do hate that I still have the trust issues and wish there was some perfect tea to drink or wand to wave, but I think I have to just keep trying to work through them lol. This is the longest I have dated anyone in many, many years so its all new territory!
Somedays I am reduce to a bowl of jello wondering if his white lie about my coffee being good, when really it was too strong, or the one about how the allergy meds I gave him helped when really he did not remember to take them....do they mean he will lie about more serious things?!! Total irrational fear at times, some of you know what I am talking about!! Other days I can just sit back and enjoy!
Anyway I am reminding myself to keep watching the actions and effort and so far they are both great. Give credit for the wonderful stuff he does do everyday and each day I hope it gets easier and I still remain so thankful for the friends I have here and IRL.
I hope you are all well!
Blu
For the most part life is going really well. I am still hanging on to the house and work is crazy but very stable. I still have the occasional custody type spat with the ex, but for the most part enjoy an amenable schedule and we are very civil to each other. I now know divorce was the only way to survive his mental illness for all of us. He remarried in November and the girls and even myself actually like her, but am sure she does not know the whole story.
The girls are doing well and we marked the passing of their older sister's death quietly this year and with more healed scars.
After some painful and hysterical starts at dating again, I have been dating a very nice man for 10 months and think we are doing pretty well. I still struggle many days with fear and a lack of trust, but he is kind and patient with me. He is still in recovery from his own divorce last year and I always tell him if it were not for all of you - mine would have been much worse.
I do hate that I still have the trust issues and wish there was some perfect tea to drink or wand to wave, but I think I have to just keep trying to work through them lol. This is the longest I have dated anyone in many, many years so its all new territory!
Somedays I am reduce to a bowl of jello wondering if his white lie about my coffee being good, when really it was too strong, or the one about how the allergy meds I gave him helped when really he did not remember to take them....do they mean he will lie about more serious things?!! Total irrational fear at times, some of you know what I am talking about!! Other days I can just sit back and enjoy!
Anyway I am reminding myself to keep watching the actions and effort and so far they are both great. Give credit for the wonderful stuff he does do everyday and each day I hope it gets easier and I still remain so thankful for the friends I have here and IRL.
I hope you are all well!
Blu