|
Post by gdgross on Feb 19, 2009 11:56:03 GMT -5
So I'm going to my buddy and his wife's open mic/birthday party on saturday evening. Yesterday he called me to warn me that my ex was also planning on coming.
I haven't seen or spoken to her in almost two years.
Wish me luck. (gulp.)
|
|
|
Post by RO on Feb 19, 2009 12:11:58 GMT -5
Wishing you luck and will keep you in my prayers. I had the opportunity in December to see the exh and I chose not to.
You can do it and I imagine it will be a lot easier than you think.
|
|
|
Post by redskyatnight on Feb 19, 2009 13:52:53 GMT -5
This would be the prefect opportunity to use visualization. Say hi and picture her as a big twizzler, then dressed like a chimp, whatever it takes to keep your mood lifted. Best of luck to you!
|
|
|
Post by shattered on Feb 20, 2009 12:06:57 GMT -5
From what I've gathered from your posts over time, while this probably won't be the happiest day of your life, you are positioned to handle this very well. My guess is she'll be a lot more uncomfortable than you will be.
But, of course: Good luck!
|
|
|
Post by jules on Feb 20, 2009 12:36:26 GMT -5
Good luck, Geoff. My suspicion is that you'll be surprised by how little you feel and how much you've moved on. Have a wonderful time at the party.
|
|
|
Post by gdgross on Feb 20, 2009 13:58:19 GMT -5
Thanks guys! (I mean, girls...)
I'm sure I'll post how it went!
I don't think it will be a huge deal, but you never know. When my buddy told me she was planning on coming a lot of the old emotions came bubbling up to the surface. Now that I've had a few days to ruminate on the idea, though, I think it'll be fine.
Too bad my girl and I just broke up though. It would have been nice to arrive with a hottie on my arm... ;D
I was actually talking with another friend a month or so ago about the possibility of seeing our ex's again. He's much more recently divorced than I, and he's much angrier. I told him that I used to be there, too. There was a time when I hated my ex with the core of my person, and thought that as long as I lived I would have that same feeling. Turns out that time dulls the anger. I wouldn't say I hate her or wish ill upon her any longer. Hell, I might even be willing to grab a beer with her sometime. I guess I just recognize that she's a screw-up, and I'm a screw up, too. I don't think she made the right choice, but it's water under the bridge at this point.
I guess we'll see if I'm singing the same tune after Saturday.
|
|
|
Post by shattered on Feb 20, 2009 14:03:27 GMT -5
It would have been nice to arrive with a hottie on my arm... ;D Yes! Any way you can rent one? ;D
|
|
|
Post by gdgross on Feb 20, 2009 16:00:27 GMT -5
Yes! Anyway you can rent one? ;D That's exactly what my friends at work are trying to get me to do... Where's the rolleyes smiley on this board? To be completely honest: Although it might be nice to have my own eye candy with me, I sort of reject the whole premise of this dilemma: that I should have a hot girl with me to either make her feel bad or make myself feel better. I say bullshit. I'm happy with myself and who I am, whether I've got a date or a girlfriend or not. It so happens that at the time which I finally do run into my ex, I'm unattached. That's fine, and I have no shame in going stag.
|
|
|
Post by shattered on Feb 20, 2009 16:31:42 GMT -5
Yes! Anyway you can rent one? ;D That's exactly what my friends at work are trying to get me to do... Where's the rolleyes smiley on this board? To be completely honest: Although it might be nice to have my own eye candy with me, I sort of reject the whole premise of this dilemma: that I should have a hot girl with me to either make her feel bad or make myself feel better. I say bullshit. I'm happy with myself and who I am, whether I've got a date or a girlfriend or not. It so happens that at the time which I finally do run into my ex, I'm unattached. That's fine, and I have no shame in going stag. Yes, of course, it's fabulous you're doing so well, and there's no shame in going solo whatsoever!! It just woulda been fun. (At least those of us who have less noble views on whether or not you should make her feel bad think so.)
|
|
|
Post by JimB on Feb 23, 2009 9:37:38 GMT -5
So how did it go?
|
|
|
Post by gdgross on Feb 23, 2009 12:04:47 GMT -5
Much less of a big deal than I expected. Most of the formalities were done by the time she got there (maybe 10:30-ish) and there were about six or seven of us hanging around drinking and chatting when she showed up. I had heard through the grapevine that she has a boyfriend, but arrived solo. Possibly for my sake, but I don't know, and probably don't care too much anyway. When she first walked in I could feel my adrenaline kick in! I thought my face might have gone flush, too, but I can't really remember. In any case, it faded quickly. I hadn't seen her in about two years. As she was coming in and being introduced to a couple people she didn't already know, we sort of acknowledged each others' presence with some eye contact and a little eyebrow hello. There wasn't a whole lot going on at that point except people just hanging out and talking. For the most part she was pretty quiet. I think that, for better or worse, most of our mutual friends kind of took my side in the split, so, given that there were a few of them there, some who she may not have seen in a while, it was probably more awkward for her than it was for me. Anyway, more or less normal conversation for a while. I tried to act natural, as if she were just anyone else. Not looking at her too often, but not avoiding her gaze either. Same with conversation. All told, it wasn't that big of a deal. I do hope I made her do a little double-take, though. I didn't have a date with me, but I did look damn good, if I can say so myself. Next time, if there is one, will probably be even easier.
|
|
|
Post by sheyd on Feb 23, 2009 12:11:50 GMT -5
I think you are right - first times are so awkward, but I'm sure it WILL get easier, and congrats on feeling so good about yourself, too! I, at least, have no problem whatsoever with people acknowledging the positives about themselves!
|
|
|
Post by jules on Feb 23, 2009 23:01:43 GMT -5
Good for you. I'm really glad that it worked out ok, all things considered.
|
|
|
Post by redskyatnight on Feb 24, 2009 12:20:15 GMT -5
It sounds like you handled yourself very well and so did she, so Congratulations! Glad it wasn't too difficult.
|
|
|
Post by kittenhart on Feb 24, 2009 20:11:40 GMT -5
Much less of a big deal than I expected. ... it wasn't that big of a deal. I do hope I made her do a little double-take, though. I didn't have a date with me, but I did look damn good, if I can say so myself. Next time, if there is one, will probably be even easier. that is good to hear that it wasn't so bad...and next time you probably won't even worry leading up to it.
|
|