Some people like to get an idea about how people are before they give out their picture. She may not be the prettiest person or she may be REALLY pretty and they don't want to be judged by appearance only. Give her some time.
Freckles, think of all of the good advice you have received through the years.
Think of getting to know this woman as a "pen pal" of sorts, feeling each other out before actually meeting. I completely respect where you are coming from, looking for a mate, but I would suggest that you have to respect that not every woman is going to be in the same "place" as you are, where they are wanting to "bond" right away.
Hang in there man, anything good is worth waiting for.
Well...skittish is a good description of a stray cat...but for a woman that you describe as in her 40's, she has likely had at least one, if not a few, heartbreaks in her life, or dating experiences that left her with a very bad taste in her mouth.
Really, when you think about it, why are we all (or most of us) here? We got burned, we got hurt, we are trying to learn about ourselves, and trying to learn to get back "out there". It sounds like, from the very limited information you have, and that you have provided, that she is being very protective of herself. That is a quality that you would have to respect, having gone through some level of hell yourself.
Anyway, I revert back to what I said in an earlier post...try to view her as a pen pal of sorts, rather than your next partner. You may find that you make a very good friend along the way.