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Post by blazinheart on Jan 9, 2008 19:34:48 GMT -5
It's a bit of a slippery slope providing them with that example, doncha think? Not at all. There is no slippery slope when it comes to being there for your children and raising your children. Fact is, a mother simply cannot be there for her children the way she needs to be if she's out working. My opinion of course. They can adopt, they can foster parent, they can do something that allows them to fulfill their natural nurturing and mothering instincts. To pretend that these instincts aren't there is only to deny your womanhood. Lets take one of the greatest women of the past 200 years for example, Mother Teresa. She was a nun, she was celebate, but she used her womanhood, her natural nurturing abilities to care for countless children. You think she wasn't fulfilled? Of course. Then you compare her to some business woman that is just out there trying to climb the ladder and buy all the things that will make her happy and...well, I think her life will speak for itself.
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midge
Junior Member
Posts: 99
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Post by midge on Jan 9, 2008 19:38:54 GMT -5
i must be defective or not a real woman, because as my fertility is declining with my advancing age, i have no instinct to mother or nurture. my biological clock is broken, i think, as is my womanhood.
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Post by Phoenixx on Jan 9, 2008 19:43:32 GMT -5
Your ideas are antiquated and outdated. Do they perhaps reflect a part of you that has been burned by a so-called "business woman"? How many actual business women do you know whose lives are empty and unfulfilled? Personally, I know several business women with no children, but they are completely happy. For myself, I'm working on starting something that will allow me to retire within 10years, but it means I will work hard and I have little time for children. An edit here: children may in fact never come in the cards, although I can appreciate that a part of me wants them. ANother part of me would much prefer to work and have security. Does this mean I'm cold? Hell no, I am a caring and loving person.
I could g on, but I'll say this. Since you are NOT a woman please refrain from those remarks about how women will only be happy being a mother/wife. You dont know how a woman would feel. In fact, each person is different. I have friends who are dying for kids, and others who dont give a damn. Dont give me a paltry example of Mother Teresa and generalise to all women.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 9, 2008 19:44:24 GMT -5
i must be defective or not a real woman, because as my fertility is declining with my advancing age, i have no instinct to mother or nurture. my biological clock is broken, i think, as is my womanhood. You probably just need some motivation, encouragement in the right direction.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 9, 2008 19:50:11 GMT -5
Your ideas are antiquated and outdated. Do they perhaps reflect a part of you that has been burned by a so-called "business woman"? How many actual business women do you know whose lives are empty and unfulfilled? Personally, I know several business women with no children, but they are completely happy. For myself, I'm working on starting something that will allow me to retire within 10years, but it means I will work hard and I have little time for children and I dont particularly want any. Does this mean I'm cold? Hell no, I am a caring and loving person. I could g on, but I'll say this. Since you are NOT a woman please refrain from those remarks about how women will only be happy being a mother/wife. You dont know how a woman would feel. In fact, each person is different. I have friends who are dying for kids, and others who dont give a damn. Dont give me a paltry example of Mother Teresa and generalise to all women. What does the fact that i'm a man have to do with right and wrong? Nothing. And yes, I know plenty of business women w/o children. And no, they are not fulfilled nearly to the extent that they would be if they had rather chosen to be mothers. Sure, they may seem to be happy, but only in the same way a teenager is happy when she comes home from a day of shopping. It's not true fulfillment, it's just the shallow, temporary happiness that comes from getting what you want.
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Post by lumpy on Jan 9, 2008 19:58:02 GMT -5
Then you compare her to some business woman that is just out there trying to climb the ladder and buy all the things that will make her happy and...well, I think her life will speak for itself. Again, you take your examples to extremes. Achieving success in your career is not simply about wealth for most folks. It makes me happy when I can afford to take my children on nice trips or get them some of the pricey toys they want. My 11 year old daughter has one year left at her Elementary School, which is a highly rated public school. The two public Jr. Highs in the area are veritable cesspools. I'd love to be able to afford to send her to a private school at that point. Money can be a means to an end. It can be parlayed into a huge advantage for a child. I'm not suggesting it can replace the fulltime love of a parent, but it seems to me that you are underrating it to some degree.
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Post by Phoenixx on Jan 9, 2008 20:04:23 GMT -5
Your ideas are antiquated and outdated. Do they perhaps reflect a part of you that has been burned by a so-called "business woman"? How many actual business women do you know whose lives are empty and unfulfilled? Personally, I know several business women with no children, but they are completely happy. For myself, I'm working on starting something that will allow me to retire within 10years, but it means I will work hard and I have little time for children and I dont particularly want any. Does this mean I'm cold? Hell no, I am a caring and loving person. I could g on, but I'll say this. Since you are NOT a woman please refrain from those remarks about how women will only be happy being a mother/wife. You dont know how a woman would feel. In fact, each person is different. I have friends who are dying for kids, and others who dont give a damn. Dont give me a paltry example of Mother Teresa and generalise to all women. What does the fact that i'm a man have to do with right and wrong? Nothing. And yes, I know plenty of business women w/o children. And no, they are not fulfilled nearly to the extent that they would be if they had rather chosen to be mothers. Sure, they may seem to be happy, but only in the same way a teenager is happy when she comes home from a day of shopping. It's not true fulfillment, it's just the shallow, temporary happiness that comes from getting what you want. I never said right or wrong. I said to do with what WOMEN feel. And of course, with your omniscient knowledge, you'd know whether someone is fulfilled or not. <end sarcasm> You have given me no proof that women are happier as a mother than anything else. Stop putting your views on others. Some women may very well be. Others wont.
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midge
Junior Member
Posts: 99
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Post by midge on Jan 9, 2008 20:05:07 GMT -5
i must be defective or not a real woman, because as my fertility is declining with my advancing age, i have no instinct to mother or nurture. my biological clock is broken, i think, as is my womanhood. You probably just need some motivation, encouragement in the right direction. no, actually, i don't think i could hack it. honestly. i don't have it in me and i really think i would be a total failure as a mother; i was a relative failure as a homemaker (i did much better at keeping house and working full time than when my only task was to take care of my house and husband). i think i would be a failure as a mother if i had a phenomenal partner. i KNOW i am not cut out for single parenthood. i just don't trust anymore. everyone says that their partner leaving/cheating/being abducted by aliens was totally out of character, but in my case, it never crossed my mind that my husband wasn't in it for life and totally in love with me. i'm rambling and making no sense. i simply do not believe that i would make a good mother or that having children would benefit me, possible children or society.
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Post by lumpy on Jan 9, 2008 20:27:47 GMT -5
What does the fact that i'm a man have to do with right and wrong? Nothing. And yes, I know plenty of business women w/o children. And no, they are not fulfilled nearly to the extent that they would be if they had rather chosen to be mothers. Sure, they may seem to be happy, but only in the same way a teenager is happy when she comes home from a day of shopping. It's not true fulfillment, it's just the shallow, temporary happiness that comes from getting what you want. I believe this to be a generalization that applies to most folks, both men and women. Just about everyone plays the what if game. Whether it's regarding job choices, relationships, choice of schools, whatever, the list goes on and on. You can second guess yourself to death. Who's to say if the businesswoman in your example would be happier if she had children? No one knows.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 9, 2008 20:45:36 GMT -5
Who's to say if the businesswoman in your example would be happier if she had children? No one knows. Well for those who think that humans evolved from the primordial goop, I could see how you would think that way. But I believe that humans we're created, designed by God. He designed men to be a certain way and women to be a certain way. He designed our bodies in such a way that would fit into God's intended plan for humans.
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Sass
Full Member
Posts: 191
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Post by Sass on Jan 9, 2008 20:51:12 GMT -5
This is starting to remind me of the Kirk Cameron thread! Remember that one?
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Post by lumpy on Jan 9, 2008 20:58:40 GMT -5
Who's to say if the businesswoman in your example would be happier if she had children? No one knows. Well for those who think that humans evolved from the primordial goop, I could see how you would think that way. But I believe that humans we're created, designed by God. He designed men to be a certain way and women to be a certain way. He designed our bodies in such a way that would fit into God's intended plan for humans. Either God's plan is extremely vesatile/flexible or he's somewhat fallible.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 9, 2008 21:02:30 GMT -5
Nasty! God definitely didn't do that, she did that to herself.
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Post by J (Hot Mess) on Jan 9, 2008 21:35:07 GMT -5
What exactly is going on right underneath her bikini? On each side theres like an inch of, i dont know, brown rope. Its not rope but I didnt know what to call it. IS that her skin?
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