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Post by Saucy on Jan 22, 2008 19:04:34 GMT -5
Well are you planning on moving in together? If so, there's going to have to be a lot of compromising in a co-habitual relationship. Its great that you two have your seperate interests, that way, you two arent too attached to suffocate one another, leaving room to miss each other. If you could compromise on having a couple "date nights" a week where the two of you could enjoy doing something mutually, i.e. going to the movies, bowling, dancing, whatever it may be, that way you both could still enjoy doing your individual activities without the other feeling neglected..
If the man wants to stay home and watch TV, i say let him, b/c there's far more worse things he could be doing like going to bars, chasing other women, drugs...although if you treat this situation lightly it could lead to these far more worse possibilities.
I would definitely compromise on the "date night" thing.
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Post by prairienomad on Jan 23, 2008 0:05:14 GMT -5
Thanks for your feedback, guys. I appreciate it.
I agree that 3 times a week for 3-4 hours is too much. That's what got to me. I think it was a symptom of our relationship being troubled, and it felt like he was always hiding behind the wrestling to stay away from our fighting.
Because of his shiftwork, I started to really resent it because of the time it took. He also has his kids every other weekend and once during the week, which is great. But with everything else, I hated that wrestling took that much time.
I don't know if he watches it quite as much now, but I know he is still a huge fan. I like the comment about MidSummer's Night's Dream. I guess that is one thing that I am conscious of now in re-starting this relationship. That it has to go both ways for it to work. I hope it does.
We are talking long-term commitment, possibly marriage, and these are things that will have to be worked out. I can't live with a man if he never has time for me, because he has to spend any free time he has watching wrestling or whatever. I need some couple time, or I feel like I may as well be alone, you know?
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Post by freckles on Jan 23, 2008 0:26:06 GMT -5
he was always hiding behind the wrestling to stay away from our fighting. Dont Fight Give Love to each Other Love  |
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Post by prairienomad on Jan 23, 2008 0:27:11 GMT -5
he was always hiding behind the wrestling to stay away from our fighting. Dont Fight Give Love to each Other Love thanks freckles. |
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Post by ionysis on Jan 23, 2008 1:00:23 GMT -5
I guess it's a personal thing.
I, personally, would rather chew my own right leg off and bludgeon myself to death with it rather than go out with a man who watches wrestling - ever - but there you go.
If its a problem for YOU then its a problem.
What I think you should be asking yourself is the bigger question of WHY you are having these doubts about your overall compatibility. I think you know the answer to that...
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Post by prairienomad on Jan 23, 2008 1:07:49 GMT -5
I guess it's a personal thing. I, personally, would rather chew my own right leg off and bludgeon myself to death with it rather than go out with a man who watches wrestling - ever - but there you go. If its a problem for YOU then its a problem. What I think you should be asking yourself is the bigger question of WHY you are having these doubts about your overall compatibility. I think you know the answer to that... Ionysis ... you hit the nail on the head. I am questioning things, for sure. But I think it's healthy because last time I just plunged in and then complained afterwards. Yes, it does bother me that he watches wrestling, because of it is so much out of the realm my interests and lifestyle, and it does make me question things. And I know that ultimately only I can answer the question of what bothers me. I have to decide if I can live with him, as different as he is from me. I think if I love him, and he treats me right, that means a lot. The big question if is whether or not he is willing to grow through knowing me. If he is, then we can work with it. But I feel like if he will not grow, then it won't last. I need to grow as a person, and someone that is also willing to. He does seem like he has grown in the months we were apart. Time will only tell for sure, though, if it is genuine. I really hope so. thanks so much inonysis. I appreciate your feedback. |
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Post by ionysis on Jan 23, 2008 1:30:17 GMT -5
No worries honey.
You seem like such a sensitive and educated person that I'd think you would naturally need someone who complemented that.
I think if I remember rightly you are a teacher and also that you hold strong moral and religious convictions. I recall that when you posted a long time back you said that his lack of desire to grow as a person and a potential mismatch of ideals (or ability to LIVE by those ideals) was problematic.
Issues like that don't just disappear but of course they can be worked on. Just make sure both of you are going to do the work this time.
You deserve the best - don't forget it.
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Post by Phoenixx on Jan 23, 2008 11:39:54 GMT -5
What the heck is Marmite? Is it like Kryptonite? Marmite is a British spread thingy. Its awful. I dont like it, but lots of people do. Its definitely a love it or hate it thing. www.marmite.com/ |
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