Post by JimB on Feb 7, 2008 17:47:15 GMT -5
My mom and sister have RA. Mom has had it for over 20 years and is coping with it pretty well, but the first few years were rough. Sis was recently diagnosed, and your experience sounds much like hers - she only has energy to work and sleep. Fortunately she isn't trying to make a relationship work right now, but she is trying to get her house fixed up and on the market so she can move back here. She wasn't getting much done till Mom went to see her and helped her. Hang in there - medical science is making big strides in RA right now.
My thought is your lady and you are kind of at a crossroads. You're both dealing with crappy life situations right now. Up till now it's been casual and fun, and now if you start to be there for each other in this time of crisis, it's likely to either end painfully or result in new levels of closeness. I myself usually tend to block out others and try to deal with stressful situations on my own, but I'm learning this isn't always the best way.
I think your experience dealing with life stress gives you a little bit of a head start if you decide to continue trying to make it work. You know very well it's not going to be fun, but you also have some unique insight on how to cope. At the same time, don't lose sight of her responsibility to support you in your time of need. It's possible her burden may be a heavy one for her, but she would need to concede that you've got a heavy one as well, and be able to put her own need aside to some degree. (The same goes for you as well.)
It's ultimately a gut decision, but don't feel ashamed of your own need for support. We're not always able to stand alone.
My thought is your lady and you are kind of at a crossroads. You're both dealing with crappy life situations right now. Up till now it's been casual and fun, and now if you start to be there for each other in this time of crisis, it's likely to either end painfully or result in new levels of closeness. I myself usually tend to block out others and try to deal with stressful situations on my own, but I'm learning this isn't always the best way.
I think your experience dealing with life stress gives you a little bit of a head start if you decide to continue trying to make it work. You know very well it's not going to be fun, but you also have some unique insight on how to cope. At the same time, don't lose sight of her responsibility to support you in your time of need. It's possible her burden may be a heavy one for her, but she would need to concede that you've got a heavy one as well, and be able to put her own need aside to some degree. (The same goes for you as well.)
It's ultimately a gut decision, but don't feel ashamed of your own need for support. We're not always able to stand alone.
