Post by crushy on Jan 5, 2008 1:23:31 GMT -5
Woo hoo!! I went to court yesterday and came out feeling great. It's not going to be over with for at least another 2 mos as we were before the Commissioner and will see the Judge in approximately 60 days. The smaller things were decided in my favor.
It happened to be my ex's birthday. It was ironic that when I listened and watched his attorney in action again, I felt sorry for him (he obviously hasn't thought of me, my feelings or well-being once...oh well). I'm just thankful he does love our sons and wants them rather than nothing to do with them. I'd settle for a happy medium.
Going in, I didn't realize that the Commissioner did not have the authority to rule on permanent custody (which my ex began trying for in Feb 2006 as I make more than him and now wants me to pay him/them.) Since I didn't realize the Commissioner could not rule on permanent custody, the Commissioner denied my ex 'temporary custody and temporary joint custody'. I found myself so irritated as it seemed each attorney seemed more concerned about our 2nd mortgage. Of course, once we left the court, I understood it and felt relief my ex was (again) denied a change from me having sole custody.
It felt awkward knowing I was once married and in love with the opposing side, friends with his (now) wife and an acquaintance (OW's bff that told me about the affair in the first place). I used to care about these people and yet we are sitting in a cold court room on opposite sides? I've been racking my brain to figure how we could possibly reach middle ground, but every time I think of something, I know I can't trust them to do their end and I end up going back to the attorney.
The saddest part of this is I have 2 sons that love both parents very much. My ex and I are products of divorce and now our sons are. Although court went well, my heart dropped when I realized the custody issue was not over with (especially for them). All they want is for things to return to the way they were before my ex filed the custody suit. Our arrangement was, although I have sole custody, the boys go back and forth, based on what they wanted, what was best for school, etc. Only to have my ex file a suit for joint custody over 2 yrs after he left me for OW.
Well, our custody suit has been dragging on for 2 yrs now (4 yrs divorced) and from the beginning, my attorney advised (and I agreed) not to have my sons sign regarding where they want to live. They are now an an early teen and the other is a pre-tween. This makes perfect sense since I don't want my sons to ever feel like they have chosen between parents. I just pray I've made the right decision since this has just dragged on and on. Which affects the kids more?
Crushy
Oh, and to echo Jgril, yeah spell check!!
It happened to be my ex's birthday. It was ironic that when I listened and watched his attorney in action again, I felt sorry for him (he obviously hasn't thought of me, my feelings or well-being once...oh well). I'm just thankful he does love our sons and wants them rather than nothing to do with them. I'd settle for a happy medium.
Going in, I didn't realize that the Commissioner did not have the authority to rule on permanent custody (which my ex began trying for in Feb 2006 as I make more than him and now wants me to pay him/them.) Since I didn't realize the Commissioner could not rule on permanent custody, the Commissioner denied my ex 'temporary custody and temporary joint custody'. I found myself so irritated as it seemed each attorney seemed more concerned about our 2nd mortgage. Of course, once we left the court, I understood it and felt relief my ex was (again) denied a change from me having sole custody.
It felt awkward knowing I was once married and in love with the opposing side, friends with his (now) wife and an acquaintance (OW's bff that told me about the affair in the first place). I used to care about these people and yet we are sitting in a cold court room on opposite sides? I've been racking my brain to figure how we could possibly reach middle ground, but every time I think of something, I know I can't trust them to do their end and I end up going back to the attorney.
The saddest part of this is I have 2 sons that love both parents very much. My ex and I are products of divorce and now our sons are. Although court went well, my heart dropped when I realized the custody issue was not over with (especially for them). All they want is for things to return to the way they were before my ex filed the custody suit. Our arrangement was, although I have sole custody, the boys go back and forth, based on what they wanted, what was best for school, etc. Only to have my ex file a suit for joint custody over 2 yrs after he left me for OW.
Well, our custody suit has been dragging on for 2 yrs now (4 yrs divorced) and from the beginning, my attorney advised (and I agreed) not to have my sons sign regarding where they want to live. They are now an an early teen and the other is a pre-tween. This makes perfect sense since I don't want my sons to ever feel like they have chosen between parents. I just pray I've made the right decision since this has just dragged on and on. Which affects the kids more?
Crushy
Oh, and to echo Jgril, yeah spell check!!