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Post by freckles on Jan 3, 2008 20:46:49 GMT -5
I guess you have to Find someone Nice for a Boyfriend that likes Kids
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Post by finding on Jan 3, 2008 20:59:40 GMT -5
Well, I don't believe with whipping with a belt, that is a bit extreme. A swat on the butt is one thing. I don't want any of my kids to ever fear me, using a belt on a child doesn't teach kids the right message. I think spanking has it's place, and is only used to get their attention and as a last resort. I.E. putting a fork in an electrical socket, running in a parking lot, biting, or something along that line. He's a sensitive kid emotionally and physically so spanking isn't really an option for him. What he really needs is the one thing I can't give him, a positive male role model. My dad never used a belt, but he never needed to, he hand was strong. Finding, the fact that he is sensitive is beside the point. He still needs to be disciplined and taught that certain behaviors are simply unacceptable. So I need to toughen up then?
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Post by finding on Jan 3, 2008 21:02:42 GMT -5
I guess you have to Find someone Nice for a Boyfriend that likes Kids I'm not going to go out and find a man just so my kids have a man around. First and foremost, that is a sure fire way to scare one off.
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Post by blazinheart on Jan 3, 2008 21:19:46 GMT -5
So I need to toughen up then? Well, you will have to do the disciplining of 2 parents. Traditionally, the bulk of the disciplining is done by the father. They are usually the strong ones, the ones that are much less reluctant to lay the smack down. Men are better at getting physical and showing they mean business. My mom almost never had to discipline her kids. All she had to say was "stop it or I'll tell your dad". We loved dad, but we also reserved a bit of fear for him. He established boundaries for our home, he enforced them and that gave us all a sense of security by doing so. We knew how far we could go and we knew what it felt like to cross that line. I'm not saying you have take out a belt and whip your son, but I am saying that he needs to know his boundaries. He needs to realize that when he pitches a fit or starts in with the dramatics that there are reprocussions, because that behavior is not acceptable. However you choose to get the message accross to him is your business, just as long as he gets the message. When he falls down and hurts himself and he starts to cry and looks to you, you need to tell him to get up and keep going, or just ignore him. Whatever you do, don't go pick him and hug him and tell him everything's going to be ok. He's not a baby anymore and you're going to have to remember that. So maybe you need to toughen up, but certainly your son does.
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Post by finding on Jan 3, 2008 23:30:41 GMT -5
Yeah, my best friend has been on me for a while about setting boundries with him. I let him get away with too much.
I don't get it, I haven't done that with the other two.
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Post by rocko on Jan 4, 2008 9:09:48 GMT -5
My special child at most needs me to kiss a boo boo. Usually he is find with just himself.
A (5) *sigh* he cries so easy. I have to kiss boo boos. He will cry at school if he gets behind and misses a question.
I have started rewarding him when he does NOT cry AND I told him the other kids at school will make fun of him if he cries. I see an improvement. We bought him a ring pop after his BBgame because he didn't cry when he lost the skin off his knee (OUCH). I gave him a big high five and a hug for not crying when I knocked him down with the car door ( I am super klutz).
Basically I think you need to make a bigger deal when he does NOT cry.
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