When I was on ojar all of the time, I found myself in a click. Ojar having clicks? Oh no! Who would have thought. The funny thing is since I have come over here, I have found myself talking more and more to people that were on ojar that I never talked to. It's funny how things happen. I really think that I am getting out of this site what I was supposed to get out of ojar. Not to say that I love my clicky friends, because I love you more than life itself. The thing is it's just funny how I interact with different people on a different site. Does anyone find themselves doing the same thing?
I guess I was not part of the click on Ojar. I wonder if I will be here.
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW--What a Ride!"
I think a "click" is really just a group of people you talk to, know better, always post to, etc. Anytime you introduce new things - new activities, or in this case, a new site, it is just normal to be more open to talking to other people. I agree, it is very very cool. Fresh perspectives and all that.
And if anyone WANTS to be part of a click, just pick a person or two you really identify with and get to know them better. I think clicks are normal and natural as long as we don't use them to exclude others or to block ourselves out from new people. Of course, shaking things up a bit and knowing new people or including new people is ALSO good!
Its smaller here. It is a "closed loop" - as in, no new members, no temporaries. There is less to respond to, so we respond more to what IS posted, whether we know the person well or not. You could say this whole board is one big clique, in a way.
Cliques just mean people you are close to. Very few people deliberately excluded people on ojar- they just didn't have time to respond to everyone so they responded mostly to those they knew. Those people became familiar, and their posts reflected that. The familiarity of others can make you feel like you can't respond, and it means newer people got less response.
The "smallness" and stability of this boards membership means we will all get to know each other better, if we post. The trouble is, with losses due to attrition, etc, if it doesn't become more "open" it will get stale and eventually die. Unfortunately, as it does get more open, it becomes more like the cliques described above - simply due to size.
Right now, though, I enjoy the postings of more people, and the familiarity. I hated losing as many "family" as we already have lost. I stayed premium on ojar, I am a member of this and goose's board - and I still miss the people we lost, and the people we will never meet because ojar isn't "open" when they need it most. Sigh.
sheyd, you are so incredibly diplomatic. Nicely said.
I do agree with what you said about newer people feeling a bit awkward at first due to "cliques". Which is why I joined another board but never post on it because I don't "know" anyone.
I admit to being incredibly ignorant when it comes to technical stuff regarding the internet and how search engines choose which sites to bring up, but I found ojar when googling divorce support group. I don't know if there is a way for this site to come up using key search terms? If I'm suggesting something ridiculous, just tell me so.