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Post by freckles on Mar 2, 2008 10:25:51 GMT -5
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Post by wizer on Mar 2, 2008 13:47:29 GMT -5
I read the article. It makes sense to me, although the percentage of women who cheat on their husbands is higher than what I have read elsewhere.
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Post by lumpy on Mar 2, 2008 14:01:34 GMT -5
Lauren Cleri, 26, admitted on air she had cheated on her NYPD cop husband and preferred an ex-boyfriend. But she failed a polygraph, and lost $200,000, by answering "yes" when asked if she believed she was a good person.
"It supports my thesis that women are talented at lying - but perhaps not enough to pass a lie-detector test," Barash said.
I saw the highlights of this show. What it says to me is that this particular woman couldn't be honest with herself. The question she failed on was "Do you think you're a good person". She answered yes and the lie detector picked up that she was being deceptive. Basically, I imagine that she justifies her cheating and lack of love for her husband. I think anyone who could say "I'm a good person" after admitting an affair and admitting that she'd rather be married to her ex is somewhat delusional.
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Post by kittenhart on Mar 2, 2008 14:13:32 GMT -5
Freckles,
Does it still really shock you that women lie? I don't think 60% of women cheat on their spouses- that's seems really high- but the lying about spending I would say is even higher than what the article stated. Seriously. Most women's home parties (Avon, Tupperware, etc) have a "husband payment plan" for making purchases....(it's totally well known amongst all women this payment plan). The "payment plan" involves dividing your purchases into three payment- one goes on VISA, one goes by cheque, and one payment is in cash- that way hubbie can't figure out how much you spent on Pampered Chef, or Amway, or whatever the hell else you bought (which you probably didn't need) whilst you were drinking coffee and gossiping with the ladies. I've never done this because I've always had my own credit card that he never saw or paid, but lots of women do this. I've lied about ebay purchases before and said they were super cheap when they weren't, (men have no clue about how much a purse would cost, eh?) and I always lied about how much I spent at the salon.....(like a haircut, highlights and pedicure would be $40. Duh.)
But here's a concept- how about if your wife works hard and makes decent money, how about not putting her on the spot when she spends some of it?? I could never figure out why my ex thought he should be the only one to ever spend money. What's with that? Why should I have to hide purchases at all....it seemed kindof unfair.
Plus my ex was a compulsive receipt saver....he would get mad if you threw out receipts from any purchase no matter how small. I now feel a little rebellious twinge every time I throw away a receipt...freedom.
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Post by ionysis on Mar 2, 2008 14:29:48 GMT -5
Oh. My. God. Kittenhart, that sounds like my idea of HELL. I work hard and earn my own money and would go ballistic if any man tried to tell me how it should be spent or if I felt I had to lie about how much that pair of shoes or facial cost.
As for the reciept thing I throw away every reciept I ever get unless I can expense it through the company. My parents are anal like that and it drives me nuts.
If ever I was married I would always make sure I kept money that was mine to spend without needing to provide excuses or ask "permission". I can understand it if you are spending someone elses hard earned cash or if you are tight on funds but not if your are earning and comfortable.
Of course I'm not talking ridiculous extravagances which aren't afforsable given the income you receive.
I don't find lies, even small ones or omissions of information acceptable these days. The problem is that the little white lies and up spiralling into bigger ones and it builds walls between you and slowly erodes communication and trust. I'm hyper-suspicious of the smallest untruths now having been lied to most comprehensively in the past.
And I don't think its just women who lie. How many guys actually disclose everything they spend to their wives and how many conveniently "forget" to mention that few beers with the boys involved a strip bar down town?
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Post by lumpy on Mar 2, 2008 16:11:09 GMT -5
Fark thread attached to the same article that Freck posted... forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3438641 Here are some of the comments I found interesting. My theory is that women are training men to be better liars. Every question they ask is a training session. If you tell the truth, you're punished. The better the lie, the better the reward. Women are generally far more complex and perhaps better communicators then men. Therefore it stands to reason that they would be better liars. Sort of like men being better at most physical tasks in general. What was it that Chris Rock said? Men lie more than women, but women tell bigger lies. When a man lies, he'll say something like "I was playing poker over at Ted's house" when he was really getting lap dances at the strip club. When a woman lies, she'll say "The baby is yours" even though it looks just like the UPS delivery guy.
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Post by freckles on Mar 2, 2008 16:32:46 GMT -5
I know a Rich Lady Her Husband is a Dr
She goes to diffrent Places by herself all over the country
Her husband is White
She is White
and that Baby is Light Brown
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Post by rocko on Mar 2, 2008 20:33:31 GMT -5
I don't lie to my husband about anything I do or how much I spend. I am not a liar. I also do'nt spend much money on myself. I am a practical kinda girl.
I have NEVER cheater and never will.
There are different types of people, Frecks.
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Post by kittenhart on Mar 2, 2008 23:29:02 GMT -5
I don't find lies, even small ones or omissions of information acceptable these days. The problem is that the little white lies and up spiralling into bigger ones and it builds walls between you and slowly erodes communication and trust. I'm hyper-suspicious of the smallest untruths now having been lied to most comprehensively in the past. And I don't think its just women who lie. How many guys actually disclose everything they spend to their wives and how many conveniently forget? I guess I do have to agree that even small lies of omission erode your trust as a couple, but I hardly think lying about purchases is on the same level as being unfaithful and cheating on your spouse or cuccolding him....neither of these last two are things I have ever done, or would ever do. I know there were lots of times that my stbx told lies of omission to me, and when I found out about them later I was mad as it was like he was living another alternate life almost (in some ways)....so I do agree with you, Ionysis, that even small lies are probably bad in the long run...I still think lots of women make these lies (about spending) all the time. And like one guy said on that Fark thread, women lie whenever they wear makeup and a push-up bra....(claiming assets that we don't have)...well okay then I guess I'm guilty of those lies then, too. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
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Post by jules on Mar 3, 2008 10:39:44 GMT -5
Girls Lie Too ~ Terri Clark So she can’t go out tonight again Her sister’s sick, she’s gotta baby-sit Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good excuse Now you didn’t hear any of this from me But things aren’t always what they seem Brace yourself, this may come as a shock to you Girls lie, too We don’t care how much money you make What you drive or what you weigh Size don’t matter anyway Girls lie, too Don’t think you’re the only ones Who bend and break and stretch it some We learn from you Girls lie, too We can’t wait to hear about your round of golf We love to see deer heads hanging on the wall And we like Hooter’s for their hotwings, too Other guys never cross our minds We don’t wonder what it might be like How could it be any better than it is with you Yeah, girls lie, too We always forgive and forget The cards and flowers you never sent Will never be brought up again Girls lie, too Old gray sweatpants turn us on We like your friends and we love your mom And that's the truth Girls lie, too Yeah that’s the truth Girls lie, too No, we don’t care how much hair you have Yeah, that looks good Comb it over like that Rrrrrrrrrrr...
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Post by kittenhart on Mar 3, 2008 16:10:29 GMT -5
hahaha, Terri Clark is a home girl after my own heart
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Spike
Full Member
Posts: 123
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Post by Spike on Mar 4, 2008 12:16:15 GMT -5
Just a little tidbit I picked up from reconciliation; lies, even the smallest white lie, will lead to bigger lies. Deceit, is deceit, whether it is spending money, fucking the neighbour, or conning old ladies out of their life savings. Trust is NOW my most valued gift, and I will never again give it out easily.
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Post by jules on Mar 6, 2008 10:47:50 GMT -5
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Post by lumpy on Mar 6, 2008 11:08:36 GMT -5
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Post by murdock on Mar 6, 2008 11:29:58 GMT -5
I have to comment on this because I have been through so much in my marriage. Both myself and my husband have lied about everything there is to lie about in a relationship. I lied about how much money I spent all the time as long as it wasn't something I would be caught red handed for. My husband would lie about going to the bar with his buddies. We have both cheated and lied to each other about that. We were both extremely impulsive and when we got married for some reason we thought that we needed to become other people. After 10 years of this our relationship was shattered. We hated eachother. I didn't think we were ever goning to make it back. One night we sat together and both broke down about EVERYTHING, from the smallest lie to the biggest deception. We hit bottom and now I don't have to hide who I am from him and he doesn't hide who he is from me. If I think it could hurt his feelings, I make it a point to tell him (like when I flirt uncontrollably with goods in here, I always tell him). If I really don't want to hear about him going out partying with all the guys on the boat because it will make me gealous, I don't ask. Accepting who we are has allowed us to really trust one another.
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