crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 7, 2008 12:20:25 GMT -5
Can I just vent for a minute.... So I don't end up going off on my b-f...
He got an Xbox a few weeks ago, and just got hooked up with the Xbox live recently... Since then, I'm non-existant... He's on there 4+ hours EVERY night playing Halo 3 with his brother-in-law... And I'm getting UBER annoyed!!!!
I don't care if he plays video games occasionally... I know that video games are his "out," But this is getting to be a bit much! Whenever I get home, he's playing video games, first thing in the morning, he wakes up and starts playing video games... All weekend, he's playing video games...
Friday night, we went to the movies and dinner and then he came home and played video games until 2am... I went to bed alone... Saturday he was up playing until 5:30am!!! Again, I went to bed alone...
I try to make little jokes about it, and tell him I don't like to go to bed alone... But it doesn't seem to get to him...
I dunno what else to do... I half think if he had to choose between be and the Xbox, he'd choose the Xbox...
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Post by rocko on Jan 7, 2008 12:24:19 GMT -5
I asked my husband to lay with me until I fall asleep. It isn't perfect, but it works.
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warewa
Junior Member
Posts: 56
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Post by warewa on Jan 7, 2008 12:29:06 GMT -5
He's OCD over it. Trust me, I know. I had the same problem. stbx hounded me all the time about it. I think it was just my form of escapism so I wouldn't have to deal with our poor relationship.
Anyway, if it's just an OCD phase, he will get bored with it in a few weeks. But be prepared for this to go for months in a worst case scenario.
Have you tried playing it with him? Try to get into his world and then expect him to reciprocate. Above all, do not get onto him about it. That will only generate negative and defensive results. Just use those "I feel" statements as much as possible.
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 7, 2008 12:32:09 GMT -5
rocko,
That's a good idea, maybe I can ask him to jsut come to bed with me until I fall asleep. Only thnig is, I am a SUPER light sleeper, so I know whenhe gets up I'll wake back up....
warewa,
Exactly. I don't want to be that nagging g-f, "Stop playing video games." Blah blah blah. Because I know that will lead to exactly the opposite response I am looking for. I have tried to play with him, but hoenstly it gives me a headache, and gets me kind of motion-sick. I'll try the "I feel..." avenue...
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Post by rocko on Jan 7, 2008 12:32:19 GMT -5
I love the suggestion of play it with him I love Halo 3 and it is super fun. Might be a good togther thing for you two.
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ladyj
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by ladyj on Jan 7, 2008 12:38:14 GMT -5
Lived this for three years, it was hell on earth. I finally left him. You better have a talk with him . This is a very common problem with couples these days. Can I just vent for a minute.... So I don't end up going off on my b-f... He got an Xbox a few weeks ago, and just got hooked up with the Xbox live recently... Since then, I'm non-existant... He's on there 4+ hours EVERY night playing Halo 3 with his brother-in-law... And I'm getting UBER annoyed!!!! I don't care if he plays video games occasionally... I know that video games are his "out," But this is getting to be a bit much! Whenever I get home, he's playing video games, first thing in the morning, he wakes up and starts playing video games... All weekend, he's playing video games... Friday night, we went to the movies and dinner and then he came home and played video games until 2am... I went to bed alone... Saturday he was up playing until 5:30am!!! Again, I went to bed alone... I try to make little jokes about it, and tell him I don't like to go to bed alone... But it doesn't seem to get to him... I dunno what else to do... I half think if he had to choose between be and the Xbox, he'd choose the Xbox...
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warewa
Junior Member
Posts: 56
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Post by warewa on Jan 7, 2008 12:39:42 GMT -5
I played the hell out of mine for 6 months. It's a guy thing. I know many relationships that ended over stuff like this so we are treading sensitive ground here.
Just let him know how you feel. If the relationship is on solid ground, I think he would agree to back off it a bit. do you think he is OCD about things like this?
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 7, 2008 12:50:04 GMT -5
I played the hell out of mine for 6 months. It's a guy thing. I know many relationships that ended over stuff like this so we are treading sensitive ground here. Just let him know how you feel. If the relationship is on solid ground, I think he would agree to back off it a bit. do you think he is OCD about things like this? I know so many relationships end because of things like that, and that's why it concerns me, because I want to solve the problem, before it gets to that point, ya know... Like I said, I have NO problem at all with him playing games for an hour a night, or when I'm in the bedroom watching one of my shows, or cooking dinner, or something... But when it's "us" time, I think the video games need to be off... Friday night, when he didn't come to bed with me, I just let it go, but then when he did it again on Saturday, it pissed me off... I tried to say something yesterday morning, and he just made a joke, "Oh you poor baby, had to go to bed alone." Which just ended up pissing me off more... I don't really think it's an OCD thing, and I honestly don't see him getting "bored" with it, because before we got together he talked about when he had his old 360 he was on there 6-7 hours a night, and never went to bed with his ex... He once said he played for 32 hours straight!!! That's just ridiculous! So how do I bring this up without setting him on the defensive? And without him throwing the "Don't tell me what to do," line at me, like he likes to do.
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Post by rocko on Jan 7, 2008 12:55:45 GMT -5
My husband isn't not nearly as extreme as what you are mentioning. He may play football or whatever one night every couple of weeks. There are other things he does (like watch football or play poker) that he will stay with me till I fall asleep then gets up and does whatever. My exh on the other hand put games before everything to do with me and the children. I even asked him to limit it to one hour a day while we are all together and then play as long as you want after the kids go to bed, but please spend a little time with the babies. His defense was that an infant and 1 year old enjoy watching him play halo/whatever he was playing at the time I know it can be a problem. sit down with him tell him how you feel and what your limits are. If that doesn't work then decide whether this is something you want to deal with forever bc he won't change with time.
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ladyj
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by ladyj on Jan 7, 2008 12:56:39 GMT -5
Ask him this: "How would you feel if I took up a new interest suddenly that took all my free time away from you?" It really is thoughtless........ I played the hell out of mine for 6 months. It's a guy thing. I know many relationships that ended over stuff like this so we are treading sensitive ground here. Just let him know how you feel. If the relationship is on solid ground, I think he would agree to back off it a bit. do you think he is OCD about things like this? I know so many relationships end because of things like that, and that's why it concerns me, because I want to solve the problem, before it gets to that point, ya know... Like I said, I have NO problem at all with him playing games for an hour a night, or when I'm in the bedroom watching one of my shows, or cooking dinner, or something... But when it's "us" time, I think the video games need to be off... Friday night, when he didn't come to bed with me, I just let it go, but then when he did it again on Saturday, it pissed me off... I tried to say something yesterday morning, and he just made a joke, "Oh you poor baby, had to go to bed alone." Which just ended up pissing me off more... I don't really think it's an OCD thing, and I honestly don't see him getting "bored" with it, because before we got together he talked about when he had his old 360 he was on there 6-7 hours a night, and never went to bed with his ex... He once said he played for 32 hours straight!!! That's just ridiculous! So how do I bring this up without setting him on the defensive? And without him throwing the "Don't tell me what to do," line at me, like he likes to do.
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warewa
Junior Member
Posts: 56
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Post by warewa on Jan 7, 2008 13:12:54 GMT -5
Damn I thought I was bad!! You might wanna get some professional individual counseling about what to do. This is a serious problem nowadays with many couples. A lot of guys get sucked up into that world and cannot seem to shake it. I promise it is not you. there is just something in the male psyche that gets drawn to that.
I remember many a night my stbx asked me to come to bed and I just kept on playing. Didn't help that my other guy friends would give me crap if I quit early. do I wish now I'd gone to bed when she asked? You bet I do!
I definitely suggest a nite out for dinner where you bring up the subject for discussion. He needs to hear how you feel about it. That's really all you can do. The accountability is then on him to react like a mature and caring b/f. A caring and trusting girlfirend is too rare a thing to have to play seond place to a stupid video game. (I can't believe I just said that!!)
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 7, 2008 13:30:56 GMT -5
A caring and trusting girlfirend is too rare a thing to have to play seond place to a stupid video game. (I can't believe I just said that!!) Thank you for that, I appreciate it. I just hope he does
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Post by tedbear on Jan 7, 2008 13:55:58 GMT -5
I never cared for modern video games,just the ones years ago as a kid.What if the Game unit accidentally had a drink spill into it,or better yet it just happened to get burn up....Need to figure out a real believeable story though..............
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Post by rocko on Jan 7, 2008 14:10:46 GMT -5
ha ha ha ha ha....dont' tempt her....
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 7, 2008 14:25:06 GMT -5
ha ha ha ha ha....dont' tempt her.... Haha, really! Don't tempt me! (LoL) Then he'd just go drop another $550 on another one.
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