warewa
Junior Member
Posts: 56
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Post by warewa on Jan 8, 2008 12:39:43 GMT -5
at this point, why should he stop? It's like when a person has an affair but still doesn't want to get divorced. They want their cake and eat it too. she's right there and isn't going anywhere, so why shouldn't he play when he wants to. After all, he's a man and doesn't need a woman to tell him what to do. Ludicrous!!
If soft approach doesn't work on him, then eventually you'll have to break out the big guns. Have a "Come to Jesus" talk with him about this whole mess. People having affairs that don't want to get divorced end up gettng their wake up call after their spouse cuts them off completely. Then they realize their little fling isn't worth losing what they have at home.
I almost liken this to having an affair. But instead of another person, he's putting a video game ahead of your relationship. Too much of anything is bad for a relationship!!! everything has to be in moderation or it'll never work.
Even if it goes south, better you find out now instead of 3 or 5 years from now. good luck. Let us know how it goes.
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 8, 2008 12:50:50 GMT -5
You're right warewa... I've been doing some hardcore thinking over the past day or 2 and I know this is just another problem, above some other major underlying issues... I just don't know what to do with it... Maybe I'll try writing a letter... I just know Brian won't understand where I'm coming from, even if I spell it all out for him... I'm lost.... I'm sitting here in tears at work, and I don't even know why... It's everything...
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Post by freckles on Jan 8, 2008 12:55:31 GMT -5
It is very Simple Take a Hammer to the XBox and all the Games
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Post by lqdKaos on Jan 8, 2008 13:14:26 GMT -5
You're right warewa... I've been doing some hardcore thinking over the past day or 2 and I know this is just another problem, above some other major underlying issues... I just don't know what to do with it... Maybe I'll try writing a letter... I just know Brian won't understand where I'm coming from, even if I spell it all out for him... I'm lost.... I'm sitting here in tears at work, and I don't even know why... It's everything... OK, so you have tried the soft approach, and as expected by others, it did not work. Though I will admit, I do not enjoy working out with my girlfriend, unless its a kayak pool session or climbing. But that does not mean he should be rude about it. You are trying. But as he so ineloquently pointed out, you were taking him away from his games. So what to do now? Write a letter: I will say, writing a letter, I do not think will work. Too impersonal, and he likely will not have the attention span to read it if he wants to game instead. He will skim over it, see what he wants to see, and be irritated that you are giving him an ultimatum. Sit him down and talk: Depending on how you approach this, I think this is your best option. Like I said, you have to avoid pointing out every instance that he has ignored you for games. You cant come across as needy. Just up and kick him to the curb: This may be the eventual outcome of this situation. The question you have to ask yourself is, "Now or Later?"...Do you remember that candy? Sorry, I digress. Some of us, dont realize what we have til its gone or leaving. Keep in mind that if this is what you decide to do, YOU need to be strong and stick to your guns. If he knows you will come running back in a few days...His behaviour will only change for those few days. By the way, where are you in Den? I am working up here now. If I am near you, we should meet up for lunch sometime.
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warewa
Junior Member
Posts: 56
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Post by warewa on Jan 8, 2008 13:17:34 GMT -5
Well, u can't rely on someone else to make u happy. Only u can do that. Gotta at least tell him your feelings about it though. If it is bad enough to bring you to tears, then he needs to know what it is doing to you. Just don't give him ultimatums. Those never work.
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Post by jules on Jan 8, 2008 14:02:06 GMT -5
You're right warewa... I've been doing some hardcore thinking over the past day or 2 and I know this is just another problem, above some other major underlying issues... I just don't know what to do with it... Maybe I'll try writing a letter... I just know Brian won't understand where I'm coming from, even if I spell it all out for him... I'm lost.... I'm sitting here in tears at work, and I don't even know why... It's everything... I'm willing to bet that it's the underlying issues that are bothering you more than the gaming. The gaming may just be representative of the underlying issues. (I obviously have no idea, but just guessing here.) Maybe you first need to figure out what is really bothering you, and when you are ready, tell your boyfriend you need to discuss some issues and ask him out to dinner so you guys can reconnect and talk out what needs to be communicated. Please don't hold it inside. Not only is it upsetting you, it's deteriorating your relationship without him even knowing about it. Which isn't fair to either of you. Give the man who loves you a chance to understand you.
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 8, 2008 14:05:36 GMT -5
Lqd, you know where I live dorkus brain, Arapahoe and I-25. But I work off 470 and Kipling. Where in Denver are you working?
You're EXACTLY right about the letter thing, cause I've tried it before, and he did just that, skimmed it over, and I did't get must of a response, besides, "Okay, I'll do better." Yeah, that lasted about 2 weeks.
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Post by rocko on Jan 8, 2008 14:10:06 GMT -5
I am pulling for you!
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 8, 2008 14:10:57 GMT -5
I'm willing to bet that it's the underlying issues that are bothering you more than the gaming. The gaming may just be representative of the underlying issues. (I obviously have no idea, but just guessing here.) Maybe you first need to figure out what is really bothering you, and when you are ready, tell your boyfriend you need to discuss some issues and ask him out to dinner so you guys can reconnect and talk out what needs to be communicated. Please don't hold it inside. Not only is it upsetting you, it's deteriorating your relationship without him even knowing about it. Which isn't fair to either of you. Give the man who loves you a chance to understand you. You're exactly right... There DEFINITELY are other issues going on... I just don't know how to explain them... I don't know how to get him to understand, without me coming off as needy and whiney...
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Post by lqdKaos on Jan 8, 2008 14:14:12 GMT -5
Lqd, you know where I live dorkus brain, Arapahoe and I-25. But I work off 470 and Kipling. Where in Denver are you working? You're EXACTLY right about the letter thing, cause I've tried it before, and he did just that, skimmed it over, and I did't get must of a response, besides, "Okay, I'll do better." Yeah, that lasted about 2 weeks. I am right off I25 and County Line. about 1 mile west of the interstate.
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Post by freckles on Jan 8, 2008 14:51:34 GMT -5
EQWidow has a Ex that would Play Two Video Games at the SAME Time !
Does he do that yet ?
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Post by jules on Jan 8, 2008 14:58:17 GMT -5
You're exactly right... There DEFINITELY are other issues going on... I just don't know how to explain them... I don't know how to get him to understand, without me coming off as needy and whiney... Expressing one's needs isn't "needy". And I know I hardly know you, but you really don't strike me as a "needy" kind of girl. As for "whiny" if you can come up with proposed solutions to the issues at hand and can discuss these options in a calm and proactive manner, I don't think it could be perceived as just being whiny.
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 8, 2008 18:21:53 GMT -5
He just called to let me know, "I have a date with Billy (his brother-in-law) for a Halo 3 marathon, so don't expect me to do anything else tonight."
Gee thanks. Guess we won't be talking tonight and I'm sure I'll be going to bed alone.
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Post by rocko on Jan 9, 2008 9:12:45 GMT -5
Ask him if you can make an appt for tomorrow.
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Post by freckles on Jan 9, 2008 19:52:13 GMT -5
OMG Thats aful
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