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Post by lumpy on Jan 9, 2008 20:47:18 GMT -5
Fight fire with fire. You and your girls get your own X-boxes and copies of Halo 3. Practice together until you are an unstoppable crew of muderous mayhem. Pawn him and his boys into submission.
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Post by JimB on Jan 10, 2008 10:13:28 GMT -5
Couple of thoughts. One, I am going to strongly recommend you set aside the "other underlying issues" you're talking about. The main issue right now is the fact that the two of you are not spending enough quality time together. Fight that battle first. I think if you guys reach a point where you're spending more time together, your other issues should naturally improve. I've been in Xbox mode lately myself, and I'm obsessive-compulsive enough that I tend to get pretty absorbed. (The fact that I have no job doesn't help. : But I can point out something here: you've made this whole thread about the Xbox, and that's not the problem. The problem is you feel as though he's not prioritizing you and the relationship highly enough. Always keep that in mind. If you complain to him how specifically he spends his time (in this case, gaming), you're kind of sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. As for specific tactics, there have been some good suggestions here. It sounds like he's reacted pretty defensively to your attempts to talk to him about it. And you're frustrated because you're in limbo land. So I'd suggest you get more pointed in your questions for him, and insist on some specific answers, for your own sanity. For example: - How long until the Xbox honeymoon is over and I can have a bf again? - When can I pencil us in for some "us" time? - Am I really that horrible that you don't want to spend time with me? (Yeah, a little manipulative, but also a fairly accurate depiction of how you're feeling. And the answer damn well better be "no".) You may come up with others. All the while, reassure him that you're not criticizing how he spends his free time. You're not his mom, and you're not there to tell him how to live. But you are a member of his household, and he chose to get involved with that. As such, you deserve at least the common courtesy of basic communication. And it may not hurt to remind him that if he doesn't invest some of his free time in his relationship, he might not have a relationship anymore. Above all, always make it about you. Because it is about you, not the Xbox.
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warewa
Junior Member
Posts: 56
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Post by warewa on Jan 10, 2008 10:39:34 GMT -5
I say cut him off. Turn him over 100% to his beloved xbox. Then let him see how satisfying it becomes. I bet in a month he'll be back crying for attention. Problem then becomes if he goes right back to his old habits once he's got u back. He's only doing this because he thinks you aren't going anywhere. Best to nip it now rather than letting this fester.
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ladyj
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by ladyj on Jan 10, 2008 10:48:43 GMT -5
I am with you warewa. If I had to do it over again, I would of played it a lot smarter. Instead, I was there and available to him every single night , always hoping he would get off the computer, to only be dissapointed each and every night to end up going to bed alone. Nip this in the bud Crystal. I say cut him off. Turn him over 100% to his beloved xbox. Then let him see how satisfying it becomes. I bet in a month he'll be back crying for attention. Problem then becomes if he goes right back to his old habits once he's got u back. He's only doing this because he thinks you aren't going anywhere. Best to nip it now rather than letting this fester.
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Post by freckles on Jan 10, 2008 11:00:23 GMT -5
Its To Late ! The XBox is in Charge Now !
You have to Destroy It !
It is Evil !
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ladyj
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by ladyj on Jan 10, 2008 11:01:34 GMT -5
Freckles, settle down! It is not about the xbox, it only appears that way. Its To Late ! The XBox is in Charge Now ! You have to Destroy It ! It is Evil !
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 10, 2008 11:15:36 GMT -5
Well, last night was better. He had a ROUGH ROUGH day yesterday. His ex had a conference with his attorney and she's going for sole custody, and doesn't want Brian to see his daughter at all. His attorney isn't doing crap, and nothing has been accomplished $4,000 later. He hasn't seen his daughter in 7 months. But that's a whole other problem. Anyways, I expected him to be on the game as usual last night, but he actually stopped playing the game (without me asking) to help me bring in groceries and put them away, he even did the dishes for me, and went to bed with me last night, without me asking.
I wonder how long this will last?
I'm so afraid to bring things up to him right now, especially now, cause I feel like he's standing on the edge of sanity (because of the mess with his ex), and the smallest thing might send him over the edge. But I also know, that I'm in this relationship too, and its also important that my needs are met.
I just want things to be "normal."
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warewa
Junior Member
Posts: 56
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Post by warewa on Jan 11, 2008 13:31:01 GMT -5
so how is it going so far?
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 11, 2008 18:28:04 GMT -5
Fine I guess. We actually had dinner together last night before he had to go do a side job. Him and his business partners have a gig tonight, so I won't see him tonight either. But tomorrow it's my goddaughter's 2nd birthday so we are going over to our friends house for a bbq and then poker night. Hopefully it'll be a good weekend, we shall see.
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