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Post by Chaos40 on Jan 8, 2008 18:01:20 GMT -5
Going through my 3rd divorce. Every one of them ended with them cheating on me with someone else! Seems like they are never satisfied with what they have and just stick around until somethin better comes along! Well, there is no better catch than me! (trust me on this!) Now that I'm going through a divorce, I'm gettng hit left and right with ladies that want to go out. Problem is, they all ask the same questions! "Where do you live?" "What do you do?" "What do you drive?" "How much money do you make?" (seriously!) I think I'm gonna just go back to the motherland in Europe and find someone who will appreciate me for who I am, not for what I have! everything here is soooo materialistic and selfish! Even in church!! that's why in 2008 you do the friends with benefits thing
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Post by jules on Jan 9, 2008 1:15:34 GMT -5
nah, just want a poor one from Eastern Europe that will appreciate me and what we have together and not try to be a gold digger. everyone here in US doesn't know how good they have it living standards wise. ;D When my friend goes to rural Poland to visit family, he has the local women all over him. Why? Because they know he is an American and therefore "rich". That's not gold digging?? (I've asked him why he doesn't ever take advantage of the attention. Apparently he has an issue with the no teeth thing. Picky, picky!)
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Post by rocko on Jan 9, 2008 9:09:01 GMT -5
I'm probably going to get flamed for this....but whats wrong with asking those questions? As long as they are not asked because the woman wants a man to take care of her. If they are asked because she doesn't want her potential interest to be living in his mother's basement and running a website which will describe what nudity scene appears in what film - okay, I am using Knocked Up here, but its actually a perfectly viable example. In today's time there is no time for those who do not work. If I was to even consider marrying someone I'd make damn sure I knew what he did and even (not every detail of, but at least have some idea of) his finances. Before I get pronounced a gold digger, I am most definitely not. I feel uncomfortable being paid for, prefer to pay my own part of the meal, movie, night out, holiday and whatnot. no flaming from me, but I was trying to say what you said in a nice way. Then again I am just an American and obviously that makes me a golddigger.
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warewa
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Post by warewa on Jan 10, 2008 10:48:23 GMT -5
Look. I've been married 3 times to good ole southern U.S. all-American beautiful women. Each lasted about 5-6 years, then it's like they got bored. Decided they wanted to go back out to the bars with their single friends. Sure enough, guys hit on them and they start reciprocating. BAM. Affair starts. I know the old saying "Take care of your women or someone else will!"
At the end, it all became about the money. What they can get out of me while they are bar hopping with new boyfriends. no care about my feelings at all. Instead of Diary of an Angry Black Woman, I'm going to write my book and call it Journal of a Pissed Off White Man.
I certainly wasn't the best husband. but it's a really lousy thing to start a new relationship before you end the current one. Those girls in Poland are probably dirt poor and eager to get out of that pit. I'd bet anything they'd respect and appreciate the man who showed up on the proverbial white horse and rescued them.
Look, all I'm saying is, based on my experience, certain American women seem to find it easy to bounce from one man to the next. I call them "Jumpers". Incapable of taking care of themself and totally insecure. Instead, they choose to rely on a man to take care of them until they get bored or something better comes along. At least, that is how I've been treated.
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Post by goods on Jan 10, 2008 11:50:42 GMT -5
My advice would be to stop looking for girls to rescue. My STBXW did the same thing... in fact the last two years we were together I did my fair of enabling, rescuing her more and more... finally she found someone to do that for her. It was "co-dependant" relationship. One that I will not fall into again. Stop looking at the girls, find a woman. In my experience, age is not the factor, nationality is not the factor... it is how they feel about themselves and how you teach them to treat you.
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Post by Saucy on Jan 10, 2008 12:00:44 GMT -5
Look. I've been married 3 times to good ole southern U.S. all-American beautiful women. Each lasted about 5-6 years, then it's like they got bored. Decided they wanted to go back out to the bars with their single friends. Sure enough, guys hit on them and they start reciprocating. BAM. Affair starts. I know the old saying "Take care of your women or someone else will!" At the end, it all became about the money. What they can get out of me while they are bar hopping with new boyfriends. no care about my feelings at all. Instead of Diary of an Angry Black Woman, I'm going to write my book and call it Journal of a Pissed Off White Man. I certainly wasn't the best husband. but it's a really lousy thing to start a new relationship before you end the current one. Those girls in Poland are probably dirt poor and eager to get out of that pit. I'd bet anything they'd respect and appreciate the man who showed up on the proverbial white horse and rescued them. Look, all I'm saying is, based on my experience, certain American women seem to find it easy to bounce from one man to the next. I call them "Jumpers". Incapable of taking care of themself and totally insecure. Instead, they choose to rely on a man to take care of them until they get bored or something better comes along. At least, that is how I've been treated. give them egg roll and they love you long time.
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Post by Saucy on Jan 10, 2008 12:03:08 GMT -5
but seriously, i don't think you should give up, you can possibly stop "searching" because apparently that hasnt worked out for you. you could possibly try to enjoy the things you like doing and then who knows, maybe soon, you would stumble on some one great.
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warewa
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Post by warewa on Jan 10, 2008 12:30:47 GMT -5
I'm not searching. Hell, I'm done. Time for someone to take care of me for a change!!!
I'm serious though when I say that, IMHO, american women tend to be spoiled. It's like they take for granted certain things that other women living in lower standards value.
In my last marriage, the thing I never got was respect or appreciation for working and supporting my wife and her three kids from a previous marriage. She didn't get any child support and made less than $25,000/yr on her own. I didn't marry her because I felt sorry for her...I married her cuz I loved her. After a few years, if ever I whined about something I didn't like, I got the "You're the husband and it's your job to provide" speech. I know that but it's not cool to use it as a verbal barb!
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warewa
Junior Member
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Post by warewa on Jan 10, 2008 12:34:25 GMT -5
btw...I vented this on ojaroo.com and got some interesting responses there too!!
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Post by Saucy on Jan 10, 2008 12:44:01 GMT -5
I'm not searching. Hell, I'm done. Time for someone to take care of me for a change!!! go live with your mom then.
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Post by freckles on Jan 10, 2008 13:23:08 GMT -5
I am getting Ready to Paint My Mini-Van (I scraped it, Now I am sanding it, I will go buy a Gallon of Paint & a Paint Roller) Then I will Look Rich too
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Post by Saucy on Jan 10, 2008 13:30:53 GMT -5
I am getting Ready to Paint My Mini-Van (I scraped it, Now I am sanding it, I will go buy a Gallon of Paint & a Paint Roller) Then I will Look Rich too i don't think its a good idea to paint your van with regular paint freckles.
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Post by jules on Jan 10, 2008 13:32:36 GMT -5
I'm not searching. Hell, I'm done. Time for someone to take care of me for a change!!! I'm serious though when I say that, IMHO, american women tend to be spoiled. It's like they take for granted certain things that other women living in lower standards value. Shoot, I never got the memo that American women are supposed to be spoiled. I was the breadwinner in my marriage and put my ex through college. I guess my marriage started to fall apart when he was close to graduating and I thought it reasonable that he, I don't know, look for a job and start contributing financially? Talk about taking things for granted... In any case, I sort of know where you're coming from with the wanting someone to "take care of me for a change". I know that going forward I will not also "take care of" a grown adult. And right now I'm focusing on "taking care of me."
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warewa
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Post by warewa on Jan 10, 2008 14:22:57 GMT -5
Amen to Jules and LOL to Saucy!!
Now there is this one russian beauty I know. She lived with my former best friend about 12 years ago. Recently called me up and we started hanging out together. Had heard what happened to me through the grapevine here in town.
Now she has been through hell. Been from guy to guy over the years and they've all cheated on her and a couple of them even beat her. Works a $30,000+yr job while renting a place on her own with 2 kids (11 and 7). Can she take care of herself? Yes. Do I feel sorry for her and what's happened to her in the past? Yes. Do I think she would like for us to hook up and move in with me? Probably would if I asked. But she knows my situation. Happy just to hang out and have fun together. Take it one day at a time.
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Post by Saucy on Jan 10, 2008 14:29:36 GMT -5
and fun is exactly what you should do Warewa. Stop analyzing the relationship heeply jeeblys and just live life. have fun. have great sex. as long as the other person is not disregarding how you feel, and respecting you in manner you feel is worth, you are set. live life without pretending. love without depending. build without rending. speak without offending, listen without defending. u are fabulous babe!
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