Post by kittenhart on Mar 5, 2008 1:16:38 GMT -5
I had one of those dreams
and you were in it.
It wasn't a nightmare but it was one of those dreams I remembered upon waking, one of those dreams that is trying to show me something, one of those dreams I bothered to record.
Even if it seemed stupid at the time.
This was 15 years ago, and I was taking an art class.
Our homework was a pencil drawing showing foreground shadowing and perpective.
So when I woke up I made a drawing of the dream, to record it.
There is a body in sterile draping in the background but I can't tell if it is me...
But the person in the foreground is definately you, with darker eyebrows (as I decided afterwards -for the art assignment- that I should make your face more brooding....to be "arty" ;D)
It is definately you at your age now, not as you would have looked back then....I googled your younger picture. Besides I hadn't met you then, this was before the accident, before the other injuries, before I worked at the lab, before you even came to _________. There is no way I could have seen you around, or seen your photo, and just drawn your picture from memory.
I am looking for any signs that would tell me what I am supposed to do, what I am supposed to feel...because weirdly enough, I don't feel afraid...just uncertain. I feel like I don't have any time to waste, but I'm trying to be patient.... I don't want to miss any signs. (I am getting better at spotting them as I get older, though, for what it's worth.)
I am sure if I told you all of this, you would think that I was psychotic, and maybe I am, but I am very lucid. (I am a believer in the scientific method, after all.) I just don't want this to be the last bad decision that I make, you know?
There is a framed picture of you on the wall at my parents' house which will prove (s) how lucid I am (was).....I am certain that someone in my family will recognize you, when you come out to speak to them...I wish I knew what you were going to say...
I am looking for more signs, but there is nothing that I can read off of you but positive potential ....so I guess that is good
And you are very likeable, and quietly observant, and not at all foreboding...
(Please don't take the darkened eyebrows to heart, they were an afterthought put in for effect, not a reflection of what I think of you or your profession...despite the caption. I was twenty, remember.
)
There is nothing I can do at this point but trust you.
This will be my paper trail if anything goes wrong.
That and a smudged pencil drawing that has yet to be explained.
I should have taken more detailed notes at the time....
shoulda, coulda, woulda, but didn't.
Now I just have to wait and wonder.
This is sooo weird. I feel weird even writing this down but I needs to be written down somewhere.
signed and recorded,
I remain,
a hopeful kitten heart
and you were in it.
It wasn't a nightmare but it was one of those dreams I remembered upon waking, one of those dreams that is trying to show me something, one of those dreams I bothered to record.
Even if it seemed stupid at the time.
This was 15 years ago, and I was taking an art class.
Our homework was a pencil drawing showing foreground shadowing and perpective.
So when I woke up I made a drawing of the dream, to record it.
There is a body in sterile draping in the background but I can't tell if it is me...
But the person in the foreground is definately you, with darker eyebrows (as I decided afterwards -for the art assignment- that I should make your face more brooding....to be "arty" ;D)
It is definately you at your age now, not as you would have looked back then....I googled your younger picture. Besides I hadn't met you then, this was before the accident, before the other injuries, before I worked at the lab, before you even came to _________. There is no way I could have seen you around, or seen your photo, and just drawn your picture from memory.
I am looking for any signs that would tell me what I am supposed to do, what I am supposed to feel...because weirdly enough, I don't feel afraid...just uncertain. I feel like I don't have any time to waste, but I'm trying to be patient.... I don't want to miss any signs. (I am getting better at spotting them as I get older, though, for what it's worth.)
I am sure if I told you all of this, you would think that I was psychotic, and maybe I am, but I am very lucid. (I am a believer in the scientific method, after all.) I just don't want this to be the last bad decision that I make, you know?
There is a framed picture of you on the wall at my parents' house which will prove (s) how lucid I am (was).....I am certain that someone in my family will recognize you, when you come out to speak to them...I wish I knew what you were going to say...
I am looking for more signs, but there is nothing that I can read off of you but positive potential ....so I guess that is good
And you are very likeable, and quietly observant, and not at all foreboding...
(Please don't take the darkened eyebrows to heart, they were an afterthought put in for effect, not a reflection of what I think of you or your profession...despite the caption. I was twenty, remember.
)There is nothing I can do at this point but trust you.
This will be my paper trail if anything goes wrong.
That and a smudged pencil drawing that has yet to be explained.
I should have taken more detailed notes at the time....
shoulda, coulda, woulda, but didn't.
Now I just have to wait and wonder.
This is sooo weird. I feel weird even writing this down but I needs to be written down somewhere.
signed and recorded,
I remain,
a hopeful kitten heart
