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Post by sheyd on Mar 5, 2008 12:38:50 GMT -5
My middle child needs to go on drugs for sleeplessness and anxiety/depression - at 9. It is a last resort thing, and yesterday her counselor agreed with her doctor that it is time. I am totally drained and depressed from that. Tried everything we could think of, every suggestion the docs or family/friends gave. Some have had some success, but not enough. She is, at 9, talking about hating herself and "not wanting to be here". Her fits get to the point where she isn't safe around people/pets. (which is a big reason why she hates herself, but that doesn't stop the fits, it makes them worse). They aren't all the time - or even most of the time - maybe once a month? But the severity of her actions at these times is increasing. She is such a "good" girl - I actually have to keep telling her it is ok to make mistakes, to not be perfect... But every mistake, every time she gets in trouble, keeps adding to hating herself. She said last time she fakes being happy all the time, but really she is always sad/angry. When I asked her when she was calmer, she said she isn't ALWAYS sad/angry - but she is a lot more than she shows. I am just so lost... and I am so afraid she won't survive her teen years - so VERY afraid. She won't talk about things, and at 9.... so we will try the drug route - I am so very scared to do this, but now I am more scared not to...  |
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JC
Full Member
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Post by JC on Mar 5, 2008 12:45:38 GMT -5
im so sorry you are going thru this... i was a very sad and depressed child, i too hated myself. it is difficult to say the least... good luck.
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Post by jules on Mar 5, 2008 12:54:40 GMT -5
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar feeling at a young age (maybe 10 - 11), minus the "fits". My parents never knew. I grew out of it (or something) when I was around 13 and was an extremely happy (if rebellious) teenager. So it's very possible things will get better instead of worse -- especially since you already have open communication about it with her and she's comfortable confiding in you. Is it possible that there is something going on at school that is only escalating the situation? Preteen girls can be little monsters. If you haven't already read "Queen Bees and Wannabes" you may want to check it out. There can be an awful lot of pressure affiliated with being a "good girl."  |
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Post by wizer on Mar 5, 2008 13:02:51 GMT -5
Sheyd,
Sorry you're going through this. I can certainly relate. My eldest daughter, who doesnt speak to me, is apparently angry at the world. She suffers from tourettes, and some unknown medical condition that has caused severe weight loss, plus anxiety, depression, and a few past incidents of self harm.
At least you are in you daughters life so you can to some degree be a supportive role model to her. I am on the outside just watching as she succumbs to whatever mental and physical problems come her way. It's a very helpless feeling, for you and me...and anyone else who has a child that cannot be helped to the degree that we want to help them....hang in there.
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Post by sheyd on Mar 5, 2008 13:07:28 GMT -5
It isn't just pre-teen stuff... She was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder at 6. My ex had mental illness issues (Avoidance Disorder to a pathological level) and family history of various mental illnesses (something we found out through the course of our marriage, not something he knew ahead of time). We have been struggling with this since she was 4. She had a bad counselor at 5-6, and now this one is good from 7-9. Just not good enough. I just don't know what else to do.
Shey
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Post by Dave on Mar 5, 2008 13:10:48 GMT -5
it sucks when a hug stops working. sorry you have to go through this.
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Post by RO on Mar 5, 2008 13:45:41 GMT -5
Sheyd-
Sorry you are going through this. Maybe the meds will help your daughter enough so she is able to go for other therapy and seek other solutions.
It sounds like you are doing everything you can.
It might sound crazy but does she eat a lot of turkey or bananas...it helps with the serotonin production in the brain...and could make a huge difference in her anxiety.
Hugs.
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Post by sheyd on Mar 5, 2008 13:49:51 GMT -5
We have turkey at least every other week, and bananas are common too. I just thought today of Pollyanna... I think I am buying her the book and movie on the way home. Maybe we can start playing "the Glad Game". Anything to turn around the negative thoughts.
Shey
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Post by Saucy on Mar 5, 2008 14:03:38 GMT -5
no drugs. take her shopping  |
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Post by sheyd on Mar 5, 2008 14:19:05 GMT -5
Saucy, if it were only that simple... This isn't some passing phase or little depression. My daughter has some real DEEP anxiety/depression issues. She is cheerful on the outside most of the time, but underneath she is still hurting too much. Shopping, fun days... they help, but only so much. She had a fit on Sunday, but Saturday we had spent the day at the "family fun fair" where she got to ride the carnival rides with an unlimited wrist band, and even made a new friend. Then we went out to dinner. It isn't like her life is that tough. Shey |
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Post by murdock on Mar 5, 2008 14:24:51 GMT -5
I think when you have exhausted all other options you are making an informed and intelligent decision putting her on medication. It is an extremely difficult decision.... but there isn't really much else you can do. She has a chemical imballance in her brain, the meds are definately going to improve her quality of life. Don't feel like you have failed.... fell like you have tried everything else and you are doing the right thing. Good luck and I hope things get better!
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Post by freckles on Mar 5, 2008 14:47:04 GMT -5
I think People nowdays have it so easy and Fun that thier body/mind becomes hyper sensitive Instead of being afrad of someting REAL like a Tiger wanting to eat them and running / fighting They become like Babys * Someone looks at them Crosseyed or they dont get thier Candy Then they have a Hissy Fit The way to Fix that is give them something REAL to be afrad of Example: The Aztec Indians would Throw People Naked into a Snake Pit - The medicine man would milk all the snakes except one or two If they survived that They did not act depresed/Crazy because if they did They would throw them back in the Snake pit agan. I dont know what would be something safer to do to get them to the same thing? One of those Peanut cans with the paper Snake that springs out ? |
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Post by murdock on Mar 5, 2008 14:51:53 GMT -5
 I don't think Dr. Freud would like the "snake pit" method... just my opinion. |
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Post by sheyd on Mar 5, 2008 14:53:36 GMT -5
To some extent, I agree, Freckles. I think she is too focused on her own pain/fears, not realizing how hard it is for others. She has a negative mental track, where she makes the bad things worse, and downplays the positives. I want to help her change that, and we have made SOME progress, but she is 9, there is only so much self-control possible. Then, when I point out how some people DO have it harder, the world is a bad place and has no happiness. I want her to realize that although there is bad for everyone (and hers is no bigger than anyone else's) there is GOOD in the world too - especially in hers. Counseling, me, her daddy, Harry, we have tried everything we can think of. If there was some switch I could push from negative to positive... but there isn't. And with her negative outlook, the therapy can't even help, it just focuses even more on negative, you know? Her counselor has worked on relaxation techniques, but when she is so scared/angry/having a fit, she can't do them.
I know medicine is the next step, but I also know medicine and kids is such a risky combination...
Shey
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Post by freckles on Mar 5, 2008 14:57:55 GMT -5
Everyone wants Meds
People feel sad when sad
Happy when happy
Mess with that by giving Meds
Then they ARE Crazy
Just my 2 cents
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