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Post by gdgross on Jan 2, 2008 20:55:43 GMT -5
What the hell is up with this phrase? I am so tired of hearing it.
In my opinion, it's just a load of crap to make ourselves feel better about where we are right now. "It just wasn't meant to be." I call bullshit. There ain't no such thing as "meant to be," there is only what is, and what isn't. Perhaps what will be and what was and what was not, too. "Meant to be" is meaningless.
As well as "everything happens for a reason." I call that one a load of crap, too.
Rant over. Sorry, but these phrases really tick me off. Discuss if you care to.
edit - sorry, this should have gone in the soapbox section! ;D
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Post by lumpy on Jan 2, 2008 20:59:05 GMT -5
What the hell is up with this phrase? I am so tired of hearing it. In my opinion, it's just a load of crap to make ourselves feel better about where we are right now. "It just wasn't meant to be." I call bullshit. There ain't no such thing as "meant to be," there is only what is, and what isn't. Perhaps what will be and what was and what was not, too. "Meant to be" is meaningless. As well as "everything happens for a reason." I call that one a load of crap, too. Rant over. Sorry, but these phrases really tick me off. Discuss if you care to. edit - sorry, this should have gone in the soapbox section! ;D I do hate "everything happens for a reason". Bullshit. Random, meaningless crap happens all the time. I do sort of get "It wasn't meant to be". It's probably something we tell ourselves to make us feel better, but in my case it applied. It (the relationship/marriage) was fubared.
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hope
New Member
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Post by hope on Jan 2, 2008 21:11:55 GMT -5
Yeah, I think I hear ya. I mean, it can be comforting at times, to think -- this was meant to happen, etc. I'm where I should be.
BUT...when you feel angry, betrayed, alone, or any other of those lovely feelings...that can be really irritating to hear! It can come off like, oh well, stop talking about how upset you are because this was all meant to happen for a reason. Not helpful! Especially when it comes from someone who has a great life.
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super
Full Member
Posts: 122
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Post by super on Jan 2, 2008 21:17:01 GMT -5
I really hate those phrases too. When I was upset about my ex meeting someone less than a month after we split one of my friends said something like they were meant to meet. Also, when I feel that I've wasted time on him, "he was meant to be with you for this part of your life". I just don't buy these phrases. People say it to make themselves feel better and not take resposibility for their actions, in my opinion.
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Post by RO on Jan 2, 2008 21:18:51 GMT -5
I agree and I think it is even further infuriating during the holiday or family events when those (cough) well meaning (cough) friends or family try to enforce their (cough) views on you! As the only and I mean only singleton (let alone, divorced)...I feel your pain. I tried the and get through it and than I would start biting my lip...than my lip started to bleed...now...I just say... "Wow, thanks for that...no one has said that to me before." I flutter my eyelashes and walk...
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Post by kittenhart on Jan 5, 2008 23:05:03 GMT -5
"Wow, thanks for that..." Such helpful phrases..."Everything happens for a reason" is right up there with "It's just Nature's way".... People just want to be supportive but they don't know what to say...but it hurts worse when the ones saying it are those with the happy marriages and happy children.
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Post by RO on Jan 5, 2008 23:10:23 GMT -5
"Wow, thanks for that..." Such helpful phrases..."Everything happens for a reason" is right up there with "It's just Nature's way".... People just want to be supportive but they don't know what to say...but it hurts worse when the ones saying it are those with the happy marriages and happy children. No truer (is that a word?) words have been spoken... I just came from dinner/drinks with my best friend from growing up...the guy that got away in my opinion. The guy I have loved since I was 12 that has seen me through everything in my life...that I never dated because I wasn't willing to risk losing the good thing we had... WE talked of all these things...he from a family of 12... WOW... is all I can say. You are so right kittenhart!
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Post by jules on Jan 6, 2008 2:29:26 GMT -5
I do agree with everything you've said. These phrases while meant to be comforting are infuriating, particularly from people who have not ever experienced anything close to the situation.
However...
The tiny little corner of my heart that still has hope and optimism believes it in a way. That the path I was on wasn't the path my life was supposed to take. That I am destined for something more.
My mom has this great analogy that I kind of like. I won't be able to put it as well as she does, but basically our lives are like a tapestry. And while we're going through life we can only see the underside. Which just looks like a tangled mess. But it's only at the end of our lives that we get to see the other side, and see the full picture and pattern.
Maybe it's a little trite, but anything that gives a bit of inspiration can't be all bad.
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Post by kittenhart on Jan 6, 2008 2:47:28 GMT -5
it's not trite...that's a good metaphor. The stitches that bind us.
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Post by Phoenixx on Jan 6, 2008 10:44:22 GMT -5
I dont believe in that crap either. People said that to me after the ex went traveling, in fact he said it himself. A million times. I think he was trying to convince himself. Yeah, I believe in fate but I also believe you have to work at it. WORK at it. Things dont magically fall into your lap. Thats bullcrap and people know it. Its just supposed to be a comfort thing. But everything I have, I worked for with God's help. Where are me and the ex now? We're not even talking. I cant even stand to think about him. Meant to be, huh?
My a$$
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Post by goods on Jan 6, 2008 13:48:00 GMT -5
Completely agree Phoenixx. "meant to be" "Love you, but not 'in love' with you" And the rest are just bullshit excuses for people to take the easy path, to be spineless.
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