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Post by finding on Jan 14, 2008 20:45:48 GMT -5
I know when his affair started. It was at the time he was pushing me so hard to reconcile. I know his affair with the clerk started months before we separated and when he hooked up with her is when he started using meth.
I know he wanted to see me serve prison time for crimes I didn't commit and he wanted the kids permanently removed from my care so he lied and made up horrible stories.
What I don't know is how he got away with these things for so long, how when I told the truth I wasn't believed. Yet it was common knowledge that he had people stalking me and reporting my actions back to him, all the signs were there of him using, and it was known he was abusive and an alcoholic yet he was given free reign to try to destroy me.
I thought things were getting better because he couldn't destroy me emotionally. Only now I know he was trying to ruin me in every other way. He wanted my life in ruins and was in the process of making it happen.
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Post by RO on Jan 14, 2008 21:15:32 GMT -5
Wow...what an epiphany...
Sorry that you are still having to go through all of this.
Take care of you and be proud of how far you have come and how well you are doing.
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Post by Dave on Jan 15, 2008 13:54:44 GMT -5
I don't understand. So what if you know? That's all in the past and you are making progress in keeping it there (in the past). Obviously it is going to rear it's ugly head, but I doubt it will ever get to the point where it makes any sense. Forgive me, but the guy was a douchbag. He did a butt-load of damage to your world, but he won't be doing any more. So again, so what?
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Post by jules on Jan 15, 2008 14:10:00 GMT -5
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, huh?
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Post by finding on Jan 15, 2008 14:34:46 GMT -5
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, huh? Yes it is. I know what you are saying erf. It shouldn't matter now, but from time to time it rears its ugly head and smacks me right in the face. I'm a very right brained person and like to have things put orderly into their places. Part of me was always counting on someday getting answers, now that will never happen. It leaves me with a bag of huge misdeads on his part and no way to make sense of it all.
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Post by Dave on Jan 15, 2008 14:42:41 GMT -5
It seems to me, L, that you are trying to make sense of a senseless situation and if that is the case then you are simply beating your head against a wall of misery. I know you have heard this before, but you have to let it go. It really doesn't matter anymore. The damage he was capable of has been done. HE cannot hurt you anymore. UNLESS you let him do it from the grave. Now, all you can do is dig out. You don't need to know what kind fo dirt you are buried in or how deep it is. You just need to grab a shovel.
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Post by freckles on Jan 15, 2008 23:55:03 GMT -5
People who are Addicts are very Selfish and thier Attitudes and the way they think is allmost Demonic at times. Because its so Evil.
It was the Drugs/Alcohol in Charge and not Him
Drugs and Alcohol dont have any Love/Caring in them
None at all
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