Honey, if you need a break, come here. Please? I will take care of you for awhile, show you around when you aren't resting. I have little girls who would love to entertain you. You need a break from the stress of it all... If not here, then one of a million places open to you. You need to remember life can be fun, and that people care about you. You CAN'T give up!
I know that feeling. I felt that that in January. I just felt so tired of it all that I simply couldn't go on. Work, life, money, health, chaos, failing, being alone, always having to make every choice, the big ones and the small ones, all on your own.
You have so much to deal with honey, your health issues, work, S. Its not surprising you feel utterly at the end of your strength. But you WILL go on because you have to. And it will get better because, we all know, nothing lasts. Nothing good, sadly, but nothing bad either. The feelings will ease; sometimes you just have to hunker down and endure until it passes. Its not easy but its the only way.
Shey is right too honey, if you could possibly get away at all, even for a few days do try. Thinking of you. ((((HUGS))))
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
Post by J (Hot Mess) on Mar 3, 2008 22:31:21 GMT -5
What happened? I loved my life. I couldnt have asked for a better life. What happened? Why am I here? Why did this have to happen? What did I do wrong? I must have done something terribly, terribly wrong. I just want it back. Can I please have it back? I hate it now. All of it. I hate it all.
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."
Do you hate us? Do you hate me? I think my life has been enriched by knowing you, even the little bit I do. That wouldn't have happened if the bad things hadn't happened.
What is it you want back? How can you get it now, not back - but forward? If you can't get it (and I know health is something you are pursuing, but may not get fully back) what can you do to make it more worthwhile?
Stop hating what you have, start looking for what you want!!!
In the meantime... my door is always open - literally and figuratively... If you ever need an escape, you have one.
Post by J (Hot Mess) on Mar 4, 2008 21:48:52 GMT -5
Shey of course I like you and dont hate you. I think I may be a masochist. Wallowing in the torture of it all is easier than getting out there and doing something about it. Sad songs and late nights over Sunday newspapers and early morning coffee with a mate (not coffemate...but a mate).
Seems Im used to that now instead. Except all songs seem sad to me now rather than just the ones that are meant to be.
I have a big reply I started this morning, but I had to leave for work... Honey, wallowing may SEEM easier, but it isn't... You are doing this to yourself (I know you know that) but are you going to get moving and stop doing it?
Post by J (Hot Mess) on Mar 6, 2008 22:32:30 GMT -5
Im in NYC now Blu...been back here two years lol. Wont be here much longer though ( I know I keep saying that but Ive been crafty and Ive run out of craftiness and the will to find ways to stay anyway so its really true soon). I wish I never left SF though. What a stupid decision that was.
Thanks guys. Appreciate it. Youre so sweet to offer and I know you both really mean it. That means a lot to me. It really does.