Post by lostincali on Mar 17, 2008 0:26:54 GMT -5
Hey Everyone,
Most of you probably don't know me. I was on OJar alot the last 6 months of 2007. For those that may recall, I was the guy who's wife left to become a lesbian. I am sure you will remember my story.
Anyway, life had been treating me really good. I felt I had finally moved on. Not completely, but as much as one could in 8 months. I would only talk to my wife through text messages and would only talk about our kids. Very short stuff. If she would message about anything else I would never respond. I must say that the hatred I had for my wife was subsiding into just a feeling of disgust. She just disgusted me and it made me feel dirty to be around her.
I was at my desk at work a few weeks ago and she sends me a message asking me what my email is. Of course I don't answer. She knows my email. So, that night, she send me an email. It was lyrics to some country song. It basically said that she realized she made a mistake and would give anything to make it right. After reading the email I was speechless. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. A few days passed and she messaged me telling me that our twin girls wanted to talk to me and that she would be calling. Of course I took the call. I talked to the girls for a few minutes and then my wife got on the phone. She asked if I had read the email and I told her no. I hadn't had the time to check my email. She sounded really disappointed. We hung up. Then the text messages started coming in fast and furious from her. Asking if I ever thought about her. Telling me that she misses everything about me. How she hopes somehow someway that we can work it out and get back together. Asking me to meet her so we can talk. Telling me that she misses me or she is thinking about me. This went on for a few days. It was like she couldn't breathe without me. I gave in and began to message her back. I felt really bad about myself for doing it, but I had to be honest with her. I did tell her that I thought about her and that I could never say never about us getting back together. I agreed to meet with her. We went to a park and talked for a bit. She kept throwing compliments my way, how great i looked, how i am the best man she has ever known, blah blah blah. She seemed to be on the verge of tears the whole time. She said I was really mean to her these past 8 months and I told her that anything I said or wrote, I meant every word of it. She also said that she is not lesbian, but bi. Her and her butch girlfriend are having problems and she doesn't see it lasting. As we were leaving, she started crying and i gave her a hug. She immediately starting kissing me. We must have kissed for about 5 minutes. Then she left. The whole next week, the text messages kept coming in. Same old stuff. Wants me back, misses me, thinking of me. I told her I was thinking of her as well.
A few days pass. We are messaging back and forth and even talking on the phone about 5 times a day. We meet for breakfast one morning and she tells me that she broke up with her girlfriend, but they are going to see each other in a few days to talk about it. We have a good breakfast and go back to the same park. We walk around and talk. She grabs my hand to hold it as we walk. It felt like old times. We hugged, we kissed.
So, she has her get together with her girlfriend a few nights later. I knew something was up. She had a different tone and was always busy. Almost as if I was bothering her. I asked her what happened with her girlfriend and she said she would talk about it with me in a few days. She never really told me what happened, at least not right away. She just said that she realized that her and I needed to work on our friendship before we get romantic together. She totally backed off me. I finally found out that they worked it all out and decided to give it one more try, but she wants to work on our friendship at the same time. Just friends. Now she treats me like I am a nuisance.
So here I sit. It has been a few days since she asked if I would be willing to do that. I told her I have to think about it, but there is really nothing to think about. I can't do it. I was happy. I was moving on. I think she knew that and the only reason she started to mess with me was to see if I still cared. I feel like an idiot. I feel used. I am once again angry and she can't understand why. If i even mention more than friendship, she gets very angry and says friendship or nothing right now.
The worst part is I am afraid to tell her that I can't do it. I told her it would take me a while to decide. I will probably just go back to the way I was before and not even let it be brought up again. I can't lie though. It hurts to be rejected all over again. It brought back the heartache again.
Most of you probably don't know me. I was on OJar alot the last 6 months of 2007. For those that may recall, I was the guy who's wife left to become a lesbian. I am sure you will remember my story.
Anyway, life had been treating me really good. I felt I had finally moved on. Not completely, but as much as one could in 8 months. I would only talk to my wife through text messages and would only talk about our kids. Very short stuff. If she would message about anything else I would never respond. I must say that the hatred I had for my wife was subsiding into just a feeling of disgust. She just disgusted me and it made me feel dirty to be around her.
I was at my desk at work a few weeks ago and she sends me a message asking me what my email is. Of course I don't answer. She knows my email. So, that night, she send me an email. It was lyrics to some country song. It basically said that she realized she made a mistake and would give anything to make it right. After reading the email I was speechless. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. A few days passed and she messaged me telling me that our twin girls wanted to talk to me and that she would be calling. Of course I took the call. I talked to the girls for a few minutes and then my wife got on the phone. She asked if I had read the email and I told her no. I hadn't had the time to check my email. She sounded really disappointed. We hung up. Then the text messages started coming in fast and furious from her. Asking if I ever thought about her. Telling me that she misses everything about me. How she hopes somehow someway that we can work it out and get back together. Asking me to meet her so we can talk. Telling me that she misses me or she is thinking about me. This went on for a few days. It was like she couldn't breathe without me. I gave in and began to message her back. I felt really bad about myself for doing it, but I had to be honest with her. I did tell her that I thought about her and that I could never say never about us getting back together. I agreed to meet with her. We went to a park and talked for a bit. She kept throwing compliments my way, how great i looked, how i am the best man she has ever known, blah blah blah. She seemed to be on the verge of tears the whole time. She said I was really mean to her these past 8 months and I told her that anything I said or wrote, I meant every word of it. She also said that she is not lesbian, but bi. Her and her butch girlfriend are having problems and she doesn't see it lasting. As we were leaving, she started crying and i gave her a hug. She immediately starting kissing me. We must have kissed for about 5 minutes. Then she left. The whole next week, the text messages kept coming in. Same old stuff. Wants me back, misses me, thinking of me. I told her I was thinking of her as well.
A few days pass. We are messaging back and forth and even talking on the phone about 5 times a day. We meet for breakfast one morning and she tells me that she broke up with her girlfriend, but they are going to see each other in a few days to talk about it. We have a good breakfast and go back to the same park. We walk around and talk. She grabs my hand to hold it as we walk. It felt like old times. We hugged, we kissed.
So, she has her get together with her girlfriend a few nights later. I knew something was up. She had a different tone and was always busy. Almost as if I was bothering her. I asked her what happened with her girlfriend and she said she would talk about it with me in a few days. She never really told me what happened, at least not right away. She just said that she realized that her and I needed to work on our friendship before we get romantic together. She totally backed off me. I finally found out that they worked it all out and decided to give it one more try, but she wants to work on our friendship at the same time. Just friends. Now she treats me like I am a nuisance.
So here I sit. It has been a few days since she asked if I would be willing to do that. I told her I have to think about it, but there is really nothing to think about. I can't do it. I was happy. I was moving on. I think she knew that and the only reason she started to mess with me was to see if I still cared. I feel like an idiot. I feel used. I am once again angry and she can't understand why. If i even mention more than friendship, she gets very angry and says friendship or nothing right now.
The worst part is I am afraid to tell her that I can't do it. I told her it would take me a while to decide. I will probably just go back to the way I was before and not even let it be brought up again. I can't lie though. It hurts to be rejected all over again. It brought back the heartache again.